Religious people who have affairs
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Anonymous
| I don't see it as being any different than when atheist people cheat. Either way, you know it's wrong and are somehow justifying it anyway. |
Anonymous
They don't justify it. They know they are weak. I bet she confessed her sin a lot, and received absolution a lot. Having a faith-based life doesn't mean you don't sin. It means you know what is sinful and what to do to be cleansed of sin. |
Anonymous
The same way, without the sacrament of confession |
Anonymous
My ex used to hit me and call me names, but would make a big show of piety whenever he could. It made my skin crawl. |
Anonymous
Pray that they can resist temptation -- that God gives them the strength to stop their behavior, or maybe that they don't get found out. You can pray for anything. |
Anonymous
I bet religious people feel more guilty than cheating atheists. For Catholics, adultery is a mortal sin that you can go to hell for (if not confessed). Atheists don't believe in hell. Then again, guilt level might be a matter of individual personality. |
Anonymous
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I honestly think that many people who profess to be Christian are in denial about sin. I don’t know each person who says they are Christian individually, so I am not judging anyone specifically. Generally, imo, as a life long Christian, I have seen people I do know, fellow Christians, committing adultery and destroying their marriages and family lives/children’s lives without much mental anguish that they are “sinning.” They rationalize it with selfish excuses, say their “happiness” is the most important factor in deciding to commit adultery, or just decide they want what they want. I don’t think being Christian makes you immune to sin. You will sin. However, you must repent and go and sin no more. It’s a life-long struggle. I truly become upset when people who commit adultery who claim to be Christian refuse to acknowledge the harmful sin they are committing. When I was in high school, we had a new and young pastor come to our church with his wife and 4 young children. The elderly congregation was enchanted to have such a vibrant young pastoral family leading the church! Until the pastor’s wife organized a church bowling league, started drinking beer like crazy during the bowling nights, and had an affair with a married man from the church. She left her pastor husband and kids; the man left his wife and kids, they both obtained divorces, and left town. I didn’t see the pastor behave badly to his wife, abuse her, treat her like a maid/babysitter, etc. I don’t think any marriage is perfect, but there were not red flags waving about either of them. The church leadership soon after reassigned the pastor (and kids) to a new church, so he could have family support for his children. The woman/family of the married man who abandoned his family and moved on with the pastor’s wife stayed within the church. She was counseled that her divorce was supported by church leadership and she was free to remarry without fearing her second marriage was sinful/unlawful/whatever. She remarried a few years later. The absolute destruction of two families was a terrible sight to behold. One of my best friends lived with the knowledge her husband was having an affair with another woman for 10 years. He finally left her and married his girlfriend just a few days after he divorced her. This woman is a great great person and authentic, loving Christian. The guy supposedly was, too. He is now separated from wife #2, and in the clutches of rapidly progressing Parkinsons disease. Wife #2 left him. He lives alone, can’t work. He is dependent on very serious medication for a poor quality of life-and desperately wants my friend/wife #1 back. She is over him and it. She wishes him well but will not allow herself to be treated like crap, discarded, and then used as a nurse by her ex-husband. She is content with her life and says God is her #1 priority in life. I don’t think I am perfect or sinless, but I feel anyone, religious or not religious, should only get married if the want a committed, life long marriage. They should regard marriage as a legal and financial commitment as well. If they can’t handle that, stay single. If they start out wanting that, but change their mind during the marriage, they should attend counseling and honestly approach their spouse without lies or excuses and divorce as amicably as possible. No one has to stay married to a cheating spouse (cheating is emotional and physical abuse) to be a Christian. |
Anonymous
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Everybody is a sinner, OP. Being religious doesn't make you less human, or even a good person automatically. Many people turn to religion when they are grappling with the worst of their personal inner demons. And some people callously use religion a facade, or even a weapon, and aren't actually religious.
It is for you to look inside yourself and find the grace to forgive. She will have to deal with her God in her own time. |
Anonymous
| This sex thing that God gave us is very powerful sometimes. |
Anonymous
I don’t think you can square it away. I come from a long line of people who are/ were religious with long marriages. There are allegedly many reports of unhappy long marriages but my parents and my in laws both expressed satisfaction they worked through their problems and remained loyal. Data shows that people who are married and belong to faith communities are generally happier. But it is hard work and many cultural influences undermine both faith and loyalty. It is a different matter if one spouse is being abused in any way -/ but even then, married people of faith and integrity should end their destructive unions before starting anything new. I think there are probably many different reasons why why people of faith cheat. Compartmentalization Denial of problems in marriage that need therapy Lack of commitment to promises made Prior agreement that marriage would be open (most religions do not condone this but some may allow it in good conscience) Myriad reasons I am not familiar with off hand that are as personal as individuals. We are all human and we are all tempted. However, that does not justify breaking vows. |
Anonymous
No married person has ever improved their character, family, marriage, or relationship with their spouse by lying to them and sneaking around having sex with other people. What do non-religious people think about affairs? |
Anonymous
So sorry, OP, for the effect this is having on your family and in particular, your brother. Religion can make people better, but not necessarily. |
Anonymous
| Often the person doth protest too much. |
Anonymous
I’m an atheist and I do think it’s more about personality than faith. Religious people can at least feel like they’ll be forgiven if they confess and stop and atheists don’t have that. Fearing hell isn’t about experiencing guilt, that’s just about fearing consequences. |
Anonymous
It’s not really hypocrisy, one of the premises of Christianity is that all people are fallen and sinful by their nature. SIL apparently has that covered. Acknowledging that what she is doing is wrong, which she necessarily would have done if she’s a real Christian, doesn’t make her behavior any worse because acknowledging that (1) is true and (2) is likely the first step to mending her ways. Not that she ever did, apparently, but I’m sure it helps in some cases. Alternatively, she’s not sincerely religious and it’s a bs pose. Also possible. |