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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do they justify it or live with the hypocrisy? SIL studies the Bible and goes to mass every week but cheated. Not just once but long term.  Besides the family being floored when we found out, I’m genuinely curious how she or anyone with a faith-based life reconciles that. [/quote]

I don’t think you can square it away. I come from a long line of people who are/ were religious with long marriages. There are allegedly many reports of unhappy long marriages but my parents and my in laws both expressed satisfaction they worked through their problems and remained loyal. Data shows that people who are married and belong to faith communities are generally happier. But it is hard work and many cultural influences undermine both faith and loyalty.

It is a different matter if one spouse is being abused in any way -/ but even then, married people of faith and integrity should end their destructive unions before starting anything new.

I think there are probably many different reasons why why people of faith cheat. 
Compartmentalization 
Denial of problems in marriage that need therapy 
Lack of commitment to promises made 
Prior agreement that marriage would be open (most religions do not condone this but some may allow it in good conscience)
Myriad reasons I am not familiar with off hand that are as personal as individuals.

We are all human and we are all tempted. However, that does not justify breaking vows.

[/quote]

No married person has ever improved their character, family, marriage, or relationship with their spouse by lying to them and sneaking around having sex with other people.

What do non-religious people think about affairs? [/quote]

Non-religious people are not a monolith, any more than religious people are, so their thoughts about affairs will vary.  One difference: while nonreligious people may feel guilt about an affair, they won't worry about going to hell because of it.[/quote]

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