My BFF will only date "tall" men so that she feels small in comparison

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Behind the women who post here? This is a mommy board. We are overwhelmingly married women with kids. There are a few single people but the vast majority settled on whatever height their spouse has.

I don’t ever get these posts targeted at the single women of DCUM and their dating standards. It’s like opening a space heater store in Dubai.

I love the posts from young, single women with no kids here. Why come to a moms board for advice? I don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been friends for decades. So I felt comfortable pushing really hard -- past her politic, but obviously BS initial responses -- to get an honest answer to this question: "Friend, why do you have an absolute, inviolable requirement that men on dating apps must be 6 ft or taller?" She'll swipe all day long past great guys who say they are 5' 10". "Too short, " she says. "Too bad."

She's well past childbearing at 55 and also past needing to build a life with a potential presidential candidate (who, I admit must be 6'1").

No, it just comes down to relativism. If he's close to her height, then she won't feel "small" (her words.). She will instead feel "big" next to a guy whose only 4 inches taller.

My question -- is THIS what's actually behind so many of you women who post here? That is an ick, as the kids say.
My dh must be at least 30 pounds heavier than me at all times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Tall men are the equivalent of skinny women for men - sometimes it’s literally the only thing they care about.

I care, because I am concerned my friends is mentally damaged and I've missed that all these years. OP

OP again -- this issue here isn't a preference for a 'look.' It's my grown-ass-adult friend's need to feel "small." A middle aged professional "small" thing. Yuck.

Are you a big girl by chance? You seem very judgemental of your friend. She likes what she likes and clearly feels she has the right to decline what she doesn't like. Are you jealous?

[Anonymous]

Would you rather she say she's looking for a furry? Many people have preferences for who they sleep with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is 55, she likes what she likes. Leave her TF alone.

She clearly doesn’t NEED a man she just prefers certain ones.

WTF do you care who she dates?

I care that I just discovered she's kind of pathetic.

You’re the pathetic one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Behind the women who post here? This is a mommy board. We are overwhelmingly married women with kids. There are a few single people but the vast majority settled on whatever height their spouse has.

I don’t ever get these posts targeted at the single women of DCUM and their dating standards. It’s like opening a space heater store in Dubai.

I love the posts from young, single women with no kids here. Why come to a moms board for advice? I don’t get it.

Surely troll posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, yeah, duh. I am close to 5’10 and preferred to date tall guys because I didn’t want to feel like a huge linebacker next to shorter, smaller guys. I think it’s fairly common for women to want to feel feminine, and that often equates to smaller. The man as the protector, able to sweep a woman off her feet (literally, if you go by romance novel covers!) and all that. I don’t think it makes your friend pathetic for admitting that. I’m sure tons of women don’t feel that way at all, so great for them. I ended up marrying a guy only a tiny bit taller than me. Maybe your friend will eventually relax her standards or maybe she’ll be single forever, but I certainly don’t think theres something wrong with her for having a pretty common physical preference.

+1 I'm 5'10". I want to be dominated sexually, and I can't believably be dominated by someone smaller than me who can't pick me up.

[Anonymous]

Who gives a damn what her preference is - its her preference. She’s the one who invests her time, body, mind and heart into someone - why shouldn’t she get what she wants in return?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I only like shorter men, OP. I don't want to crick my neck to look up at my loved one for ever.

Don't you understand that there's someone out there for everyone?

Sure, there's a lid for every pot, blah blah blah. But at 55 and having lived a worldly, full life, it strikes me as childish to unapologetically use a physical trait as a gatekeeper to love and companionship.

Presumably, at 55 you've experienced enough life to know that, despite your preference for redheads, it turns out that occasionally a brunette will manifest who is brilliant.

PP you replied to. BTW, my 17 year old son is 5'4" To your point, I think your friend is rigid about certain things and that this is only the tip of the iceberg as to why she's single. But it doesn't mean she needs to abandon her criteria to get a man. Maybe she prefers to be single, and that's OK. If she whines to you, then remind her she has rigid criteria and that you don't want to hear it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Did you see this SNL skit about how the NFL gives back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been friends for decades. So I felt comfortable pushing really hard -- past her politic, but obviously BS initial responses -- to get an honest answer to this question: "Friend, why do you have an absolute, inviolable requirement that men on dating apps must be 6 ft or taller?" She'll swipe all day long past great guys who say they are 5' 10". "Too short, " she says. "Too bad."

She's well past childbearing at 55 and also past needing to build a life with a potential presidential candidate (who, I admit must be 6'1").

No, it just comes down to relativism. If he's close to her height, then she won't feel "small" (her words.). She will instead feel "big" next to a guy whose only 4 inches taller.

My question -- is THIS what's actually behind so many of you women who post here? That is an ick, as the kids say.

It all comes back to her own sense of insecurity. She feels "big" next to a man who isn't 6' tall - she associates that with being a negative trait. So she will only date a 6'+ guy who will not trigger that particular insecurity.

She's not addressing the underlying issue - low feelings of self-worth, criticism of her own body, a need to feel protected (likely due to some sort of previous unresolved trauma). If she addressed those issues she would likely date a much wider variety of men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Behind the women who post here? This is a mommy board. We are overwhelmingly married women with kids. There are a few single people but the vast majority settled on whatever height their spouse has.

I don’t ever get these posts targeted at the single women of DCUM and their dating standards. It’s like opening a space heater store in Dubai.

This is silly. Yes it's a forum for parents. But given that close to 50% of marriages end in divorce, and many children are either born to single moms by choice or to cohabitating unmarried parents, and also that many people who post here are not parents (check out the number of forums for non-parents), this site probably has 30 to 40% single people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is 55, she likes what she likes. Leave her TF alone.

She clearly doesn’t NEED a man she just prefers certain ones.

WTF do you care who she dates?

I care that I just discovered she's kind of pathetic.

And you are so perfect that you are obsessing over your friend's preferences in men. Yuck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been friends for decades. So I felt comfortable pushing really hard -- past her politic, but obviously BS initial responses -- to get an honest answer to this question: "Friend, why do you have an absolute, inviolable requirement that men on dating apps must be 6 ft or taller?" She'll swipe all day long past great guys who say they are 5' 10". "Too short, " she says. "Too bad."

She's well past childbearing at 55 and also past needing to build a life with a potential presidential candidate (who, I admit must be 6'1").

No, it just comes down to relativism. If he's close to her height, then she won't feel "small" (her words.). She will instead feel "big" next to a guy whose only 4 inches taller.

My question -- is THIS what's actually behind so many of you women who post here? That is an ick, as the kids say.



First of all, stop using current slang to " be cool" once you do than it is drastically. Second of all, owl just because you know one person who is like this does not mean other women are and if so who cares...myob

[Anonymous]

My cousin is mid 30s and like this. She wants kids and a husband but she only wants very tall (6’1” and up) and athletic and thinks she’ll marry a guy who is a pro athlete. But at mid 30s her window for that has already passed and there are cuter and younger girls.