Reply to My BFF will only date "tall" men so that she feels small in comparison

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We've been friends for decades. So I felt comfortable pushing really hard -- past her politic, but obviously BS initial responses -- to get an honest answer to this question: "Friend, why do you have an absolute, inviolable requirement that men on dating apps must be 6 ft or taller?"  She'll swipe all day long past great guys who say they are 5' 10".  "Too short, " she says. "Too bad."

She's well past childbearing at 55 and also past needing to build a life with a potential presidential candidate (who, I admit must be 6'1").

No, it just comes down to relativism.  [b]If he's close to her height, then she won't feel "small" (her words.). She will instead feel "big" next to a guy whose only 4 inches taller.[/b]

My question -- is THIS what's actually behind so many of you women who post here? That is an ick, as the kids say.

[/quote]

It all comes back to her own sense of insecurity. She feels "big" next to a man who isn't 6' tall - she associates that with being a negative trait. So she will only date a 6'+ guy who will not trigger that particular insecurity.

She's not addressing the underlying issue - low feelings of self-worth, criticism of her own body, a need to feel protected (likely due to some sort of previous unresolved trauma). If she addressed those issues she would likely date a much wider variety of men. [/quote]

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