How to help teen who lost all their elem-mid school friends because of rumors and bullying, canceled

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send your kid back to school, they’ll find new friends that aren’t raised by wolves.

How do you know what the problem was? What if OP's kid was harassing a girl or what if OP's kid assaulted a girl. Getting dropped by every one of their friends should be a clue that OP's kid did something very far outside of the bounds of acceptable behavior

You’re talking “DC” terms of acceptable. DC doesn’t function like the rest of America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This culture is alive in schools, it's just hidden from everyone and wrapped in the social justice culture in our public schools. Although the intent seems correct, many people get caught up and hurt by it. For more information, please visit: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/31/style/cancel-culture.html. In my child's situation, it wasn't related to rape or anything as severe as nude, but more in the lines of having a Christian value set and experiencing blowback about that, resulting in rumors being started about them being racist and bigoted.

Well, there are a lot of "Christian value set" people who are, in fact, racist and bigoted. I don't support children being "canceled" because their parents (you) taught them to be bigots, but this should be a wakeup call for your child that the beliefs they learned at home are not socially acceptable.

Perhaps teach your kid that in America we have freedom of speech, and faith. Trying to make everyone believe just like you is bigoted.

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm sorry your child is going through this and I'm going to give him/her the benefit of the doubt. Were it me, and giving the cancel culture and social climbing which only adds to the intensity in this area, I would move to another county, if possible. Otherwise I would move my child into a private school environment and hope others will find compassion and forgiveness in their hearts. You are not going to get this from most of the DMV, they do not want to be tainted with anything and your child needs a change for their mental health. Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This culture is alive in schools, it's just hidden from everyone and wrapped in the social justice culture in our public schools. Although the intent seems correct, many people get caught up and hurt by it. For more information, please visit: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/31/style/cancel-culture.html. In my child's situation, it wasn't related to rape or anything as severe as nude, but more in the lines of having a Christian value set and experiencing blowback about that, resulting in rumors being started about them being racist and bigoted.

Well, there are a lot of "Christian value set" people who are, in fact, racist and bigoted. I don't support children being "canceled" because their parents (you) taught them to be bigots, but this should be a wakeup call for your child that the beliefs they learned at home are not socially acceptable.

Perhaps teach your kid that in America we have freedom of speech, and faith. Trying to make everyone believe just like you is bigoted.

Don't give me that crap. It's not "intolerant" to tell you that if your kid says bigoted things, people won't want to be friends with them. Don't be such a snowflake. Own your bigotry and accept the consequences for your choices.

The freedoms you listed are granted by the Constitution to the people, not by other people to the people. You are free to say and believe whatever you want. I am free to tell you that I think you're a bigot for your beliefs. I'm not trying to get you to believe anything. I just think it's important that you understand that if you express beliefs that are hateful and intolerant, you can expect social repercussions because it's 2023 and bigotry is not socially acceptable the way you want it to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send your kid back to school, they’ll find new friends that aren’t raised by wolves.

How do you know what the problem was? What if OP's kid was harassing a girl or what if OP's kid assaulted a girl. Getting dropped by every one of their friends should be a clue that OP's kid did something very far outside of the bounds of acceptable behavior

You’re talking “DC” terms of acceptable. DC doesn’t function like the rest of America.

It actually does. There are tons of boys how are d-bags and still have friends. OP's kid did something bad enough that kids they had been friends with for years dropped them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send your kid back to school, they’ll find new friends that aren’t raised by wolves.

How do you know what the problem was? What if OP's kid was harassing a girl or what if OP's kid assaulted a girl. Getting dropped by every one of their friends should be a clue that OP's kid did something very far outside of the bounds of acceptable behavior

You’re talking “DC” terms of acceptable. DC doesn’t function like the rest of America.

It actually does. There are tons of boys how are d-bags and still have friends. OP's kid did something bad enough that kids they had been friends with for years dropped them.

Are you that unfamiliar with middle schoolers and their social lives, especially middle school girls?

[Anonymous]

Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?

My position is that the OP says her child was "canceled" for "Christian values set" commentary, so yes. My assumption is that the OP's child said something perceived by their non-bigot friends as bigoted and offensive and those friends have dropped the child as a result.

If it was some innocuous thing or overblown social justice thing like "called a fascist bc wanted to be a prosecutor" I strongly suspect that the OP would have outlined that, rather than vaguely talking about values and cancel culture articles from 2019.

I also do not believe that this would be a family that would "accidentally" misgender someone. But I guess that makes ME intolerant for assuming that OP is bigoted in that specific way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?

Not the PP, but my position is that OP specifically used the phrase "canceled" (which is politically loaded language) but didn't elaborate. OP also described something that didn't just lead to a falling out with a specific peer group, but with an entire grade level. That does suggest this was something more dramatic than wearing last year's Jordans to the school dance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?

My position is that for someone who people have known since elementary school to be ostracized by all of their friends usually requires a reason. It's one think to drop someone from a group chat or cut them out of a wider friend group, but when everyone including best friends dumps them, there is a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?

My position is that the OP says her child was "canceled" for "Christian values set" commentary, so yes. My assumption is that the OP's child said something perceived by their non-bigot friends as bigoted and offensive and those friends have dropped the child as a result.

If it was some innocuous thing or overblown social justice thing like "called a fascist bc wanted to be a prosecutor" I strongly suspect that the OP would have outlined that, rather than vaguely talking about values and cancel culture articles from 2019.

I also do not believe that this would be a family that would "accidentally" misgender someone. But I guess that makes ME intolerant for assuming that OP is bigoted in that specific way!

Op never said anything about a Christian values set. That was another poster entirely. Yet you and other people basically ran with that falsehood and are happy to condemn the op’s child. Kinda makes it clear how rumors can start and take on a life of their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh Good Lord. It's so easy to get canceled. My daughter was called a fascist because she said she wants to be a prosecutor. She isn't on social media so she wasn't publicly called out, but she was dropped from the group chat. For saying she wanting to be a prosecutor.

So don't assume OP's kid did something heinous. It could have been something as subtle as expressing the wrong political opinion or accidentally misgendering someone.

There is a difference between getting dropped from a group chat and getting dropped by every one of your friends

So your position is that if op’s child is being ostracized by her friend group, she must have done something to deserve it?

My position is that for someone who people have known since elementary school to be ostracized by all of their friends usually requires a reason. It's one think to drop someone from a group chat or cut them out of a wider friend group, but when everyone including best friends dumps them, there is a reason.

lord knows people always ostracize others for the most noble reasons. not once has someone been ostracized unjustly!