Teacher calling your kid a liar and sending to detention for lying

[Anonymous]

You are a horrible person op. You are creating an entitled douche bag narc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

My child's 3rd grade teacher would shop on Amazon while the class was absorbed in coursework. One of the kids saw it and told his mom who told the other parents. Well, there really wasn't anything we could do about it.
When I was in 4th grade, my older sister noticed that my teacher only made a check mark on our homeworks. Older sister said my teacher was lazy for not going thru each sheet problem by problem. So one day I was helping out the 4th grade teacher, I naively and innocently remarked that my sister thought she was lazy for merely making check marks on our homeworks. Ms. 4th grade teacher became incensed and began yelling at me (in front of everyone). I don't remember what she said but I clearly touched a nerve.
It's called being defensive because they were caught being unprofessional.

I might save the information and give it to the school principal upon your child's promotion to the next school.

I am a teacher and I last week I was shopping on Amazon while my students were working. I was BUYING CLASSROOM SUPPLIES, with my own money.

God, you are a busybody idiot, you know that?

Parents like you are exactly the reason I am currently desperately trying to find another job in a different field. And you are the reason that I will walk out the day I get another job. Good luck finding somebody competent to perform for you in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s more to it than he’s telling you. He had incentive to lie here. You need to back up the teacher.

The teachers very long email has no evidence that he's lying. In fact it describes the evidence incorrectly and, to me, someone that works in tech, tells me the teacher has no grasp of the tech.

Oh, boy. You think you need to work in "tech" to understand browser windows and tabs?

Most likely, your kid is lying to you, just like he did to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

OP, hope this works out.

For non-class time, my kid liked James Grime's (UK) videos.
https://www.singingbanana.com/ and numberphile.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, hit enter too soon. James G is a mathematician.

[Anonymous]

OP, kids lie all the time. It doesn’t make them bad people, but they do it. Most adults lie sometimes too. Nobody likes getting in trouble and if we can say something that will keep us from getting in trouble, we often will.

It’s really not possible for you to know exactly what happened and since it’s not like your son is going to go to prison or something I would not make this the battle to fight.

[Anonymous]

I think I would reply to the teacher and cc the principal etc. on the original email.

"While I agree that any student watching videos and lying about it should receive detention, I do have concerns about the strong feelings expressed in this email which, to my mind, seem to be a personal character attack on a ten year old. I believe we need to meet to discuss".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher's reaction was immature and excessive whether or not your child was untruthful.

Are we at the same school? There's a teacher who is just a terrible person and lashes out at various kids and assumes they are lying. It's usually one type of kid she does not like and it's really obvious because other kids comment on it. I've overheard classmates discussing this at carpool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s irrelevant if your kid lied.

The lesson here is there are very few adults that can be trusted. Evidence, the email from the teacher.

Your child needs to know through life he will meet teachers, coaches, neighbors, etc who are adults that are a bit unhinged.

He also need to know that through life people will create a story about you that is not true. You can’t go around, collecting all the lies and trying to right them.

The teacher is a wack job, you can’t change it, you can’t tell the principal and have them change it. It’s just a thing.

I hate to say it but this is all true. There are a lot of unhinged teachers these days who are burned out and should really seek a new career but we are desperate as a nation for teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

Yeah I'm going to trust the teacher. Be a parent, not your kid's friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

You weren't there. One detention isn't going to kill him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s more to it than he’s telling you. He had incentive to lie here. You need to back up the teacher.

That would be very damaging to OP's relationship with her child is he is telling the truth. You don't want to take that risk unless you have hard evidence, and there is none.

I mean the kid could be telling the truth, but if I were in OPs shoes, i would tell my kid don’t have tabs open be bored and day dream it is how I got through school. But if you choose to have open tabs, your teacher may be angry and you will have to deal with the punishment. I mean teachers can’t look at amazon all day, you can’t have DCUM open at work if your boss is hanging over you right? So, tell your kid he now has to be above suspicion. Prep for working life!

That is very different from what you were advocating before, and you need to acknowledge that to yourself. We would all tell this kid to close his tab. But backing up the teacher who has accused him of lying is not the same thing. At all.

That was my first post in this thread. If you need IT corroboration ask the moderator.

I would teach my kid that even if you didn’t do it sometimes you do the punishment and just keep going and stay above board in everything else.

[Anonymous]

Lots of insane snowflakes raising more insane snowflakes here.

[Anonymous]

Whatever happened to taking a library book or workbook to class for when you are bored or have finished the assigned work? OP, tell your brilliant kid to do that from now on. Even “math” videos are lower quality than what I mentioned

[Anonymous]

Maybe they have above average marks bc the parent might be a helicopter parent who hovers over the teachers waiting to strike. It's scary out there for teachers bc parents talk behind the teachers back trying to stir up trouble. Then the kids learns they can be bad apples a get away with it. Think of the power trip that gives kids and how it erodes classroom and grading dynamics. The quiet obedient kids are served an injustice.