Teacher calling your kid a liar and sending to detention for lying

[Anonymous]

School should be using something like GoGuarduan that can document what kids have open on their computer during class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

My child's 3rd grade teacher would shop on Amazon while the class was absorbed in coursework. One of the kids saw it and told his mom who told the other parents. Well, there really wasn't anything we could do about it.
When I was in 4th grade, my older sister noticed that my teacher only made a check mark on our homeworks. Older sister said my teacher was lazy for not going thru each sheet problem by problem. So one day I was helping out the 4th grade teacher, I naively and innocently remarked that my sister thought she was lazy for merely making check marks on our homeworks. Ms. 4th grade teacher became incensed and began yelling at me (in front of everyone). I don't remember what she said but I clearly touched a nerve.
It's called being defensive because they were caught being unprofessional.

I might save the information and give it to the school principal upon your child's promotion to the next school.

Oh I misread, it was OP's boy who is being accused of watching videos.
Well, simple solution - the teacher needs to get his students to focus. Why is he relying on a computer to teach anyway?
His reaction is over the top. I would think he would reach out to the parent only after repeated efforts to get the student to focus.

Typical absurd 2023 entitled parent response.

[Anonymous]

I would probably just tell my kids that sometimes life is unfair.

Once I went to bat for my kid who I was sure was falsely accused of something. I was wrong. So humiliating and a good learning experience for my kid and myself. I’m not saying your kid is lying but don’t be so quick to assume he isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s more to it than he’s telling you. He had incentive to lie here. You need to back up the teacher.

That would be very damaging to OP's relationship with her child is he is telling the truth. You don't want to take that risk unless you have hard evidence, and there is none.

I mean the kid could be telling the truth, but if I were in OPs shoes, i would tell my kid don’t have tabs open be bored and day dream it is how I got through school. But if you choose to have open tabs, your teacher may be angry and you will have to deal with the punishment. I mean teachers can’t look at amazon all day, you can’t have DCUM open at work if your boss is hanging over you right? So, tell your kid he now has to be above suspicion. Prep for working life!

[Anonymous]

I wish that, if you want my support, send me the browser history you said you had IT pull.

[Anonymous]

I had to tell my kid not to have tabs open. DC and their seat mate were caught playing Letterboxed together in science class. His defense was that used your brain which will make your brain better able to do science. Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Tell him not to have those browsers open during class anymore. No room for misunderstanding.

Reply to the teacher something like "Your reaction seems excessive. Is there something else I need to know about? I have told Jimmy to make sure browsers aren't open during class."

[Anonymous]

Number 1 if you think your kid doesn't lie then you are lying g yo yourself and that's probably where they get it from

Number 2 detention doesn't exist at alot of places anymore so consider yourself lucky for having educators that keep kids honest and care about self discipline

[Anonymous]

It’s irrelevant if your kid lied.

The lesson here is there are very few adults that can be trusted. Evidence, the email from the teacher.

Your child needs to know through life he will meet teachers, coaches, neighbors, etc who are adults that are a bit unhinged.

He also need to know that through life people will create a story about you that is not true. You can’t go around, collecting all the lies and trying to right them.

The teacher is a wack job, you can’t change it, you can’t tell the principal and have them change it. It’s just a thing.

[Anonymous]

In 7th grade I got detention for something I didn't do, I was just in the wrong place. My mom didn't fight it. I served it and learned to keep my distance from certain kids. Sometimes you have to buckle down and realize life just isn't fair. Getting sensitive over every slight isn't healthy either. Honestly that's why I think everyone is anxious and miserable these days.

[Anonymous]

Before going around half-cocked, get a conference or phone call with the teacher. Talk to them. Listen to their side. Share your side. Learn. Then decide if this should be mentioned to the principal. Don’t just fly off the handle because of an email. Be open that more could be happening. Your child could be doing other shenanigans, too. Better to find out now so that you can straight the path for your DC. If the teacher still seems unhinged, then go to the principal. It’s not great to over-react to everything in life. Put yourself in the shoes of a teacher today. Be empathetic.

[Anonymous]

I guarantee if you pull the kid’s browser history you are going to he surprised. “The tab was just up from before” is already a go-to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s more to it than he’s telling you. He had incentive to lie here. You need to back up the teacher.

That would be very damaging to OP's relationship with her child is he is telling the truth. You don't want to take that risk unless you have hard evidence, and there is none.

I mean the kid could be telling the truth, but if I were in OPs shoes, i would tell my kid don’t have tabs open be bored and day dream it is how I got through school. But if you choose to have open tabs, your teacher may be angry and you will have to deal with the punishment. I mean teachers can’t look at amazon all day, you can’t have DCUM open at work if your boss is hanging over you right? So, tell your kid he now has to be above suspicion. Prep for working life!

That is very different from what you were advocating before, and you need to acknowledge that to yourself. We would all tell this kid to close his tab. But backing up the teacher who has accused him of lying is not the same thing. At all.

[Anonymous]

Middle schoolers have a habit of not telling the whole truth to their parents. Trust me, teachers don’t enjoy writing long emails, so if that happened, there’s either a history of off task computer use or something else happened. What exactly did the email say, OP? It would be helpful if you posted it.

[Anonymous]

By now you should have grounded your kid for lying, not being a good student. 20 years ago this school deserve a good old beating.