Man always using phone won’t text me back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

Because he is a coward and doesn’t want to ruffle the waters, because he wants to keep you around for the benefits he is getting from you, because he doesn’t value you…whatever the reason is he’s telling you with his actions what his answer is. Even if you ask him, he’ll use his words to pacify you and then keep his actions the same. You’ve already had this conversation before, he is showing you he literally doesn’t care.

Wait, sorry. I only sped read your OP. My PP stands but you seem to be pretty needy/controlling and there’s no way you should be having this many fights in the first 6 months of dating. You’re mutually incompatible.

IMO, she doesn’t sound needy or controlling at all. She asked the dude to put his phone away when they’re together on a date. That’s basic manners. I wouldn’t give a man a second thought if he texted throughout a dinner with me.

I agree, that’s not unreasonable and I would drop the guy right then and there too if it happened twice. It’s the being anxious and asking him if there’s something wrong (because he seems to be losing interest, wtf, you should be wondering if YOU’RE interested in a guy who forces you to sit in silence??) and having the same fight/conversation over and over and over again that is needy and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

He is telling you, but you’re not listening. His phone takes priority when you’re together, but your presence on his phone is not a priority when you’re not together.

One. More. Time. For. The. People. In. The. Back.
OP, read this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

I think the next time you go out to eat and he ignores you for his phone, pull out yours, and text him that it’s over. Then get up and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alright. At the risk of sounding like a 16 year old girl, I’m going to ask a question about issues I’m having with my boyfriend texting me.

I’m 33. He’s 36. He is habitually on his phone. We’ve had fights about it. I’ve let him know he needs to be present with me. He has tried hard to be more conscious of his phone usage when we’re together, but he’s explained he has a lot going on and will often need to respond to an email, call, or text urgently. He asked me to please be understanding of his work and family responsibilities when this happens, and he said he’d try hard to put it down more when we’re together. Fine.

This man who is on his phone so often that I’ve had to eat meals in silence while looking around a restaurant because he’s using his phone for whatever has started taking 5-6 hours to reply to a text from me. When I ask if anything is wrong or if he wants to talk about something (since I’ve gathered he’s losing interest), he’s adamant that he’s happy with me and nothing is wrong. Still, I find it pretty insulting that the man who can’t leave his phone alone for 30 minutes when we’re together is taking 6 hours to respond to me.

I’ve already asked if something’s up. He insists we’re all good. Should I just stop responding to him as well? I KNOW he’s not too busy to get back to me. I’ve seen him text while driving down the highway. WWYD, honestly?

Personally, I find full adults(as opposed to teens) who are slavishly, obsessively and near continuously fixated on their phones as defective and deficient in character. I view them as intellectually inferior, likely emotionally stunted and associations/relationships with them would be limited and superficial.

You should move on.

You sound rigid and of poor moral character.

I guess this hit home for you - you should give some reflection and thought to your relationship with your phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

I think the next time you go out to eat and he ignores you for his phone, pull out yours, and text him that it’s over. Then get up and leave.

Chef’s kiss!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

I think the next time you go out to eat and he ignores you for his phone, pull out yours, and text him that it’s over. Then get up and leave.

Chef’s kiss!

Better yet, arrange an uber, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and text him as you are driving away.

[Anonymous]

I've stopped being friends with people like this. I sure as hell am not going to date someone like this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

I think the next time you go out to eat and he ignores you for his phone, pull out yours, and text him that it’s over. Then get up and leave.

Chef’s kiss!

Better yet, arrange an uber, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and text him as you are driving away.

No, I want to see his face when it happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

Because he is a coward and doesn’t want to ruffle the waters, because he wants to keep you around for the benefits he is getting from you, because he doesn’t value you…whatever the reason is he’s telling you with his actions what his answer is. Even if you ask him, he’ll use his words to pacify you and then keep his actions the same. You’ve already had this conversation before, he is showing you he literally doesn’t care.

Wait, sorry. I only sped read your OP. My PP stands but you seem to be pretty needy/controlling and there’s no way you should be having this many fights in the first 6 months of dating. You’re mutually incompatible.

IMO, she doesn’t sound needy or controlling at all. She asked the dude to put his phone away when they’re together on a date. That’s basic manners. I wouldn’t give a man a second thought if he texted throughout a dinner with me.

I agree, that’s not unreasonable and I would drop the guy right then and there too if it happened twice. It’s the being anxious and asking him if there’s something wrong (because he seems to be losing interest, wtf, you should be wondering if YOU’RE interested in a guy who forces you to sit in silence??) and having the same fight/conversation over and over and over again that is needy and controlling.

OP: He explained it to me as thus: if we were having breakfast and I opened a newspaper to read up on what’s happening in the world, he wouldn’t be offended. So why should I be offended when he does virtually the same thing on his phone during breakfast?

Obviously, I don’t agree with that. Just sharing what I’ve been fed.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of this guy. It has only been six months and you are having fights about him being on his phone for an entire dinner date? He's taking 5-6 hours to text you back (regularly, occasionally this makes sense if during a work day). You can do better, please move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of this guy. It has only been six months and you are having fights about him being on his phone for an entire dinner date? He's taking 5-6 hours to text you back (regularly, occasionally this makes sense if during a work day). You can do better, please move on.

OP: During the 5-6 hours, I leave him alone, but I can see him active on TikTok.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why people think this is acceptable in any situation, let alone when out with a romantic partner.
If you take out your phone while you're with me, more than once or for more than a few seconds, without a good reason, I simply say that it's obviously not a good time and I get up and leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

Because he is a coward and doesn’t want to ruffle the waters, because he wants to keep you around for the benefits he is getting from you, because he doesn’t value you…whatever the reason is he’s telling you with his actions what his answer is. Even if you ask him, he’ll use his words to pacify you and then keep his actions the same. You’ve already had this conversation before, he is showing you he literally doesn’t care.

Wait, sorry. I only sped read your OP. My PP stands but you seem to be pretty needy/controlling and there’s no way you should be having this many fights in the first 6 months of dating. You’re mutually incompatible.

IMO, she doesn’t sound needy or controlling at all. She asked the dude to put his phone away when they’re together on a date. That’s basic manners. I wouldn’t give a man a second thought if he texted throughout a dinner with me.

I agree, that’s not unreasonable and I would drop the guy right then and there too if it happened twice. It’s the being anxious and asking him if there’s something wrong (because he seems to be losing interest, wtf, you should be wondering if YOU’RE interested in a guy who forces you to sit in silence??) and having the same fight/conversation over and over and over again that is needy and controlling.

OP: He explained it to me as thus: if we were having breakfast and I opened a newspaper to read up on what’s happening in the world, he wouldn’t be offended. So why should I be offended when he does virtually the same thing on his phone during breakfast?

Obviously, I don’t agree with that. Just sharing what I’ve been fed.

The newspaper analogy doesn't hold water - as someone who is old enough to have done this, that was, or could be an actual shared experience - he reads one section while you read the other and then, recommend something - "oh here, read this!".... what is on his phone is completely different than what is on your phone and it's clear that whatever he's occupied with, he's not sharing it with you so, no, it's not like him opening up the newspaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of this guy. It has only been six months and you are having fights about him being on his phone for an entire dinner date? He's taking 5-6 hours to text you back (regularly, occasionally this makes sense if during a work day). You can do better, please move on.

OP: During the 5-6 hours, I leave him alone, but I can see him active on TikTok.

TikTok.... good grief, run away, hon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of this guy. It has only been six months and you are having fights about him being on his phone for an entire dinner date? He's taking 5-6 hours to text you back (regularly, occasionally this makes sense if during a work day). You can do better, please move on.

OP: During the 5-6 hours, I leave him alone, but I can see him active on TikTok.

TikTok.... good grief, run away, hon!

No self respecting 36 year old man is on TikTok. DTMF.