Man always using phone won’t text me back

[Anonymous]

Imagine this kind of phone usage while trying to run a household or raise kids. This issue would only get worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may be stressed and going through some difficult/embarrassing things that he's not quite ready to share yet. People handle stress in a variety of different ways. Give him grace through this difficult time and show a bit of empathy.

Maybe he should show a little empathy. This woman has stayed with him despite him being a total jerk with his teenage-like phone usage. Anyone would be feeling doubts about a man’s authenticity in this scenario. She’s stayed (I don’t know why; I wouldn’t have.) to give him the benefit of the doubt. He can reply with his darn Apple Watch on the toilet. It isn’t hard.

You don't know how people react to difficult situations. If OP does not like it and wants to leave him at this potentially difficult time, that is entirely her prerogative.

However, she should not expect that any grace be extended her when she eventually goes through her own difficulties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

Simple. You’re a source of s*x for him. It hurts to hear, but that’s the reality.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's not as into you as you would like but he's also not ready to be honest about that because he would rather be in a relationship with you than not. That's probably because he doesn't have someone else yet. Many people, men and women, can't handle breaking up due to diminishing feelings and the aloneness and conflict that would then be inevitable. This is typically a very hard truth to accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

Because he is a coward and doesn’t want to ruffle the waters, because he wants to keep you around for the benefits he is getting from you, because he doesn’t value you…whatever the reason is he’s telling you with his actions what his answer is. Even if you ask him, he’ll use his words to pacify you and then keep his actions the same. You’ve already had this conversation before, he is showing you he literally doesn’t care.

Wait, sorry. I only sped read your OP. My PP stands but you seem to be pretty needy/controlling and there’s no way you should be having this many fights in the first 6 months of dating. You’re mutually incompatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to be in a relationship with him?

OP: Obsessive phone usage aside, he’s a really nice guy. We laugh a lot when we’re together. It’s a relatively new relationship (less than 6 months), so I’m also just trying to get a feel for him and see if this is worth it.

OP I think you have already got a feel. Your answer is right in front of you. You don't need him to tell you directly. He is telling you already.

OP: Yeah, I guess you’re right about that.

This is PP you responded to. I would just tell him it's not working, no hard feelings, keep it simple, and move on. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may be stressed and going through some difficult/embarrassing things that he's not quite ready to share yet. People handle stress in a variety of different ways. Give him grace through this difficult time and show a bit of empathy.

Maybe he should show a little empathy. This woman has stayed with him despite him being a total jerk with his teenage-like phone usage. Anyone would be feeling doubts about a man’s authenticity in this scenario. She’s stayed (I don’t know why; I wouldn’t have.) to give him the benefit of the doubt. He can reply with his darn Apple Watch on the toilet. It isn’t hard.

You don't know how people react to difficult situations. If OP does not like it and wants to leave him at this potentially difficult time, that is entirely her prerogative.

However, she should not expect that any grace be extended her when she eventually goes through her own difficulties.

Sounds like he doesn’t need to be actively dating until he can get his life together then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may be stressed and going through some difficult/embarrassing things that he's not quite ready to share yet. People handle stress in a variety of different ways. Give him grace through this difficult time and show a bit of empathy.

Maybe he should show a little empathy. This woman has stayed with him despite him being a total jerk with his teenage-like phone usage. Anyone would be feeling doubts about a man’s authenticity in this scenario. She’s stayed (I don’t know why; I wouldn’t have.) to give him the benefit of the doubt. He can reply with his darn Apple Watch on the toilet. It isn’t hard.

You don't know how people react to difficult situations. If OP does not like it and wants to leave him at this potentially difficult time, that is entirely her prerogative.

However, she should not expect that any grace be extended her when she eventually goes through her own difficulties.

Sounds like he doesn’t need to be actively dating until he can get his life together then.

Well, he already is. Situation also could have arisen after they started dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

Because he is a coward and doesn’t want to ruffle the waters, because he wants to keep you around for the benefits he is getting from you, because he doesn’t value you…whatever the reason is he’s telling you with his actions what his answer is. Even if you ask him, he’ll use his words to pacify you and then keep his actions the same. You’ve already had this conversation before, he is showing you he literally doesn’t care.

Wait, sorry. I only sped read your OP. My PP stands but you seem to be pretty needy/controlling and there’s no way you should be having this many fights in the first 6 months of dating. You’re mutually incompatible.

IMO, she doesn’t sound needy or controlling at all. She asked the dude to put his phone away when they’re together on a date. That’s basic manners. I wouldn’t give a man a second thought if he texted throughout a dinner with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, but he’s not that into you. Dump, block, next please!

OP: Why won’t he just tell me this? How can I ask him this directly to get a real answer?

He is telling you, but you’re not listening. His phone takes priority when you’re together, but your presence on his phone is not a priority when you’re not together.

[Anonymous]

Work responsibilities? Set boundaries. There aren’t that many emergencies requiring a response outside of normal business hours — and I work in a global company on a global team.

What family obligations, exactly? Please don’t tell me he is separated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alright. At the risk of sounding like a 16 year old girl, I’m going to ask a question about issues I’m having with my boyfriend texting me.

I’m 33. He’s 36. He is habitually on his phone. We’ve had fights about it. I’ve let him know he needs to be present with me. He has tried hard to be more conscious of his phone usage when we’re together, but he’s explained he has a lot going on and will often need to respond to an email, call, or text urgently. He asked me to please be understanding of his work and family responsibilities when this happens, and he said he’d try hard to put it down more when we’re together. Fine.

This man who is on his phone so often that I’ve had to eat meals in silence while looking around a restaurant because he’s using his phone for whatever has started taking 5-6 hours to reply to a text from me. When I ask if anything is wrong or if he wants to talk about something (since I’ve gathered he’s losing interest), he’s adamant that he’s happy with me and nothing is wrong. Still, I find it pretty insulting that the man who can’t leave his phone alone for 30 minutes when we’re together is taking 6 hours to respond to me.

I’ve already asked if something’s up. He insists we’re all good. Should I just stop responding to him as well? I KNOW he’s not too busy to get back to me. I’ve seen him text while driving down the highway. WWYD, honestly?

Personally, I find full adults(as opposed to teens) who are slavishly, obsessively and near continuously fixated on their phones as defective and deficient in character. I view them as intellectually inferior, likely emotionally stunted and associations/relationships with them would be limited and superficial.

You should move on.

[Anonymous]

I would assume he is married and he isn’t going to text you back in case his wife sees and then he can say oh her I have told her I have not interest - see I do t even respond to her and she still texts me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alright. At the risk of sounding like a 16 year old girl, I’m going to ask a question about issues I’m having with my boyfriend texting me.

I’m 33. He’s 36. He is habitually on his phone. We’ve had fights about it. I’ve let him know he needs to be present with me. He has tried hard to be more conscious of his phone usage when we’re together, but he’s explained he has a lot going on and will often need to respond to an email, call, or text urgently. He asked me to please be understanding of his work and family responsibilities when this happens, and he said he’d try hard to put it down more when we’re together. Fine.

This man who is on his phone so often that I’ve had to eat meals in silence while looking around a restaurant because he’s using his phone for whatever has started taking 5-6 hours to reply to a text from me. When I ask if anything is wrong or if he wants to talk about something (since I’ve gathered he’s losing interest), he’s adamant that he’s happy with me and nothing is wrong. Still, I find it pretty insulting that the man who can’t leave his phone alone for 30 minutes when we’re together is taking 6 hours to respond to me.

I’ve already asked if something’s up. He insists we’re all good. Should I just stop responding to him as well? I KNOW he’s not too busy to get back to me. I’ve seen him text while driving down the highway. WWYD, honestly?

Personally, I find full adults(as opposed to teens) who are slavishly, obsessively and near continuously fixated on their phones as defective and deficient in character. I view them as intellectually inferior, likely emotionally stunted and associations/relationships with them would be limited and superficial.

You should move on.

You sound rigid and of poor moral character.

[Anonymous]

Woman to woman, let me tell you this. I’d tell my sisters, my girlfriends, and my daughters the same thing. It seems like maybe you don’t have someone to say this to you, so I’m going to be your proxy sister today.

Have. Some. Self. Respect.
This man could be Channing Tatum combined with Barack Obama, and he still would not be a prize. Wanna know why? He lacks manners. He lacks basic respect for you, sis. Do not tolerate this BS. If he’s this bad now, think about him in 5 years. You will be JUST fine, sweetheart. Let him have his phone and whoever he’s texting.