I want 19 year old daughter out of house, but she can't support herself - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Have you asked her about what motivates her?

[Anonymous]

BTW she could get a full-time serving position and make enough money to share an apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can earn $2400/month working fulltime and owe virtually zero federal income tax. Yes she can live on her own with a roommate!!!

Doing what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece was exactly like OP's DD. She got C's and D's in high school and was not motivated. My brother sent her to Siberia to live with relatives for one year. When she came back to the US, she became a very good student, ended up at UVA, graduated and had a very good job. It is amazing what living in Siberia's harsh condition can do to your psyche.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't give up on your parental responsibilities just because you don't like what's happening. No one said being a parent was easy but, nevertheless, it's your responsibility to take care of her.

Agreed. She’s only 19!

[Anonymous]

It is not realistic for her to be in college right now with that lack of maturity. She may be one of those that needs time in the "real world" before they are ready to tackle college. I would encourage her to find work so she can eventually move out or at least contribute to rent. It can't be fun for her to live at home either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you asked her about what motivates her?

ADHD and Motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM0Xv0eVGtY

[Anonymous]

I had my son take 2 classes at a time and work until he got the hang of it.

He’s also working with a therapist for executive functioning, etc.

I think your kind of giving up at the goal line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not realistic for her to be in college right now with that lack of maturity. She may be one of those that needs time in the "real world" before they are ready to tackle college. I would encourage her to find work so she can eventually move out or at least contribute to rent. It can't be fun for her to live at home either.

+1. Tell her she needs to make a goal of supporting herself, either through work or finishing college. If college isn’t working, what about being a nanny or server for a while? Or work somewhere like Costco?

[Anonymous]

I don't know whether you're her mother or her father, but if you're her father, give her a position at whatever company you own. If you're the mother, talk her father into giving her a position at whatever company he owns. Or, find a rich man for her to marry.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. Randomized double-blind studies have proven that simply being irritated by your child's ADHD is not enough to cure it.

I recommend that you get more professional help. Her meds aren't working and there are other strategies she can learn.

And it sounds like you could benefit from some psychoeducation on the topic as well. It would help you be less frustrated to understand that your daughter is probably not intentionally disappointing you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she ever been screened for ADHD or learning disorders?

Yes, She does not have any learning disorders, she did qualify for adhd - inattentive, and has been medicated for a couple of years.

Clearly her medication isn’t working. When is the last time her doctor adjusted it? Has she gotten any executive function coaching?

Yes, we have spent thousands on executive function coaching. Didn't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did she afford college when she was "away"?

We paid for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't give up on your parental responsibilities just because you don't like what's happening. No one said being a parent was easy but, nevertheless, it's your responsibility to take care of her.

But she's an adult. What if she's still like this at 26? Am I obligated to have her live with us forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my son take 2 classes at a time and work until he got the hang of it.

He’s also working with a therapist for executive functioning, etc.

I think your kind of giving up at the goal line.

Which goal line ? There are two.