Are you a "conflict entrepreneur"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm…you know the person doing the cutting off is disengaging from conflict and drama. The cut off is putting an end to the conflict so people can just go live their lives happily. It’s the opposite of stirring any pots or loving conflict.

It’s a failure of adult communication that risks creating permanent rifts and rejects compromise and resolution. Much of what some OPs have described could be addressed by using words, not with a hair flip and stomping off in a huff. I’m thinking in particular of the threads about SILs and judgmental moms, both of which elicited advice to cut them off and/or not invite them back. Why is anybody encouraging these OPs to escalate instead of work it out? We aren’t in middle school. Use your words, people.

Not the person you are responding to, but have you read the threads? Once again, the majority of people who cut off have gotten years of therapy to help them try every possible thing to compromise or resolve conflict or if not possible to accept the person's limitations and work around the problematic behaviors. There is often a final straw that might seem small that finally sets off the break, but it has been building for years even decades. You cut off because there is no risk that comes with break. The person causes so much pay again and again, the only outcome is getting your peace back. People have used their words over and over in every permutation possible and finally after exhausting your options the silence is golden and beautiful. The person can no longer hurt you and dissapoint you over and over and you can focus more energy on your healthy relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm…you know the person doing the cutting off is disengaging from conflict and drama. The cut off is putting an end to the conflict so people can just go live their lives happily. It’s the opposite of stirring any pots or loving conflict.

It’s a failure of adult communication that risks creating permanent rifts and rejects compromise and resolution. Much of what some OPs have described could be addressed by using words, not with a hair flip and stomping off in a huff. I’m thinking in particular of the threads about SILs and judgmental moms, both of which elicited advice to cut them off and/or not invite them back. Why is anybody encouraging these OPs to escalate instead of work it out? We aren’t in middle school. Use your words, people.

Not the person you are responding to, but have you read the threads? Once again, the majority of people who cut off have gotten years of therapy to help them try every possible thing to compromise or resolve conflict or if not possible to accept the person's limitations and work around the problematic behaviors. There is often a final straw that might seem small that finally sets off the break, but it has been building for years even decades. You cut off because there is no risk that comes with break. The person causes so much pay again and again, the only outcome is getting your peace back. People have used their words over and over in every permutation possible and finally after exhausting your options the silence is golden and beautiful. The person can no longer hurt you and dissapoint you over and over and you can focus more energy on your healthy relationships.

If these people are paying therapists who tell them to cut someone off, why are they posting here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

You seem not to realize that sometimes a permanent rift is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

You seem not to realize that sometimes a permanent rift is a good thing.

Most of us realize that cutting someone off is occasionally a good thing. You don’t seem to realize that it’s not always a good thing, and that sometimes the poster doing the cutting, or urging someone to cut someone off, is the problematic conflict entrepreneur doing it for power, attention, or ugly kicks.

Are you trolling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm…you know the person doing the cutting off is disengaging from conflict and drama. The cut off is putting an end to the conflict so people can just go live their lives happily. It’s the opposite of stirring any pots or loving conflict.

It’s a failure of adult communication that risks creating permanent rifts and rejects compromise and resolution. Much of what some OPs have described could be addressed by using words, not with a hair flip and stomping off in a huff. I’m thinking in particular of the threads about SILs and judgmental moms, both of which elicited advice to cut them off and/or not invite them back. Why is anybody encouraging these OPs to escalate instead of work it out? We aren’t in middle school. Use your words, people.

Not the person you are responding to, but have you read the threads? Once again, the majority of people who cut off have gotten years of therapy to help them try every possible thing to compromise or resolve conflict or if not possible to accept the person's limitations and work around the problematic behaviors. There is often a final straw that might seem small that finally sets off the break, but it has been building for years even decades. You cut off because there is no risk that comes with break. The person causes so much pay again and again, the only outcome is getting your peace back. People have used their words over and over in every permutation possible and finally after exhausting your options the silence is golden and beautiful. The person can no longer hurt you and dissapoint you over and over and you can focus more energy on your healthy relationships.

If these people are paying therapists who tell them to cut someone off, why are they posting here?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP returning after a day. I’m talking about the posters who leap to advising every OP to cut their parents or sister off. Yes, some parents seem awful from the OPs’ descriptions. In other cases, there are two clear problems with this.
1. It’s not always the parents’ fault. In some cases an immature OP is clearly the problem. (The SIL thread is an example, yes, yet on the first page one of you advised OP to cut SIL off.)
2. Cutting someone off for a minor offense is destructive and may be permanent. (The certified letter thread, where OP has given zero detail but some of you are yelling “cut mom off” anyway.)

People advising an OP to cut off someone, in the absence of details or when OP is immature, are destructive meddlers in others’ lives.

(As an aside, it’s so strange that one of you cares so deeply whether my thread succeeds or fails. I don’t care. If that’s all you have to worry about in your life, then you really are an immature drama llama.)

I’ve figured out the problem. OP has problems with reading comprehension and/or recalling main ideas from passages she reads. In the certified letter thread, the OP had already cut off the mom and was upset that mom wouldn’t accept her decision. That’s why there was a certified letter-she had been blocked in more common types of communication already. People weren’t encouraging OP to cut her off, because it had already happened. No wonder message boards are frustrating to the OP of this thread, so much reading is involved.

Just out of curiosity, OP. If someone keeps doing something you don’t like, and you tell them repeatedly to stop, what should you do when your words don’t work? What if, when you try to discuss the problem with them, they escalate? Every time. So you either quietly accept what they’re doing, discuss and increase conflict with no resolution-only escalation, or what else?

You are an abuser. You’re insulting another poster and can’t admit there might be some truth in what she says. You distort arguments (that thread was about a mother trying to make contact for whatever reason, and you urged OP to reject it). Instead of taking reason and criticism on board and reflecting, you escalate with tween-level insults about reading comprehension. When your behavior is called out, you cut the other person off. Do you do it for power or drama because you’re bored? Classic abuser profile.

I can’t get away from an abuser like you fast enough. Good bye.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

It's really none of your business, OP. Yet you create this overly dramatic thread to repeat the same things you said in the other threads.

Your cr@ppy “advice” is destructive and calling it out isn’t being “overly dramatic,” it’s bringing some reasoned maturity to the discussion. I’ve seen some (not me, ask the moderator) speculate you’re a troll or a 13-year-old. You should take a good look at your behavior, but you’re too immature to do so.

I think you need to take a break from the internet. You don't seem to realize that you are interacting with more than one person.

Yes, we all know there are two of you who think cutting everybody off is the solution to every inter-personal problem. You haven’t addressed any of the valid points raised above, about the value of using your words to compromise, instead all you have is insults. That alone says a lot about your maturity level.

Ah yes, I am so immature for cutting off child abusers and murderers.

[Anonymous]

What an odd thread. From the faulty premise to the word salad “writing” in the original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

It's really none of your business, OP. Yet you create this overly dramatic thread to repeat the same things you said in the other threads.

Your cr@ppy “advice” is destructive and calling it out isn’t being “overly dramatic,” it’s bringing some reasoned maturity to the discussion. I’ve seen some (not me, ask the moderator) speculate you’re a troll or a 13-year-old. You should take a good look at your behavior, but you’re too immature to do so.

I think you need to take a break from the internet. You don't seem to realize that you are interacting with more than one person.

Yes, we all know there are two of you who think cutting everybody off is the solution to every inter-personal problem. You haven’t addressed any of the valid points raised above, about the value of using your words to compromise, instead all you have is insults. That alone says a lot about your maturity level.

Ah yes, I am so immature for cutting off child abusers and murderers.

Missed that thread which was this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

It's really none of your business, OP. Yet you create this overly dramatic thread to repeat the same things you said in the other threads.

Your cr@ppy “advice” is destructive and calling it out isn’t being “overly dramatic,” it’s bringing some reasoned maturity to the discussion. I’ve seen some (not me, ask the moderator) speculate you’re a troll or a 13-year-old. You should take a good look at your behavior, but you’re too immature to do so.

I think you need to take a break from the internet. You don't seem to realize that you are interacting with more than one person.

Yes, we all know there are two of you who think cutting everybody off is the solution to every inter-personal problem. You haven’t addressed any of the valid points raised above, about the value of using your words to compromise, instead all you have is insults. That alone says a lot about your maturity level.

Ah yes, I am so immature for cutting off child abusers and murderers.

Missed that thread which was this?

+1. Also interested. No murderers, but several pp’s who think they’re better than their SIL or won’t provide any info at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

It's really none of your business, OP. Yet you create this overly dramatic thread to repeat the same things you said in the other threads.

Your cr@ppy “advice” is destructive and calling it out isn’t being “overly dramatic,” it’s bringing some reasoned maturity to the discussion. I’ve seen some (not me, ask the moderator) speculate you’re a troll or a 13-year-old. You should take a good look at your behavior, but you’re too immature to do so.

I think you need to take a break from the internet. You don't seem to realize that you are interacting with more than one person.

Yes, we all know there are two of you who think cutting everybody off is the solution to every inter-personal problem. You haven’t addressed any of the valid points raised above, about the value of using your words to compromise, instead all you have is insults. That alone says a lot about your maturity level.

Ah yes, I am so immature for cutting off child abusers and murderers.

So you’re a liar too. No recent threads about murderers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - have you been cut off? It sounds like you are lashing out at invisible Internet posters who post advice on cutting someone off. I’ve never been cut off but I can imagine it is deeply frustrating that you can’t lash out at the person who cut you off because we’ll you’re cut off.

I don’t think it matters why someone choses to end a relationship if they don’t want to share that information. You really are in no position to judge whether a strangers decision to cut someone off is too minor in your opinion.

I think it’s healthy to remember that no one is entitled to an ongoing relationship with anyone else. It’s mutual acceptance only. You can’t rage your way into someone’s life or believe that just because you are related that they owe you something. They don’t. If you are cut off, accept it and move on.

Oh look, it’s the poster who thinks anybody who disagrees with her must have been cut off themselves. Your behavior here is a sign of immaturity and pot-stirring all by itself. No, as I’ve posted other threads, I spent a very pleasant Thanksgiving with my two children. My daughter used her 2nd or 3rd paycheck to take me to dinner, and last week my son thanked me for decisions I had made. Both were unsolicited and unexpected.

Your assumption that anybody who cuts someone else off must be right is sick, that’s the only word I can think of for it. Sometimes they’re right. Other times the person doing the cutting is overreacting to a minor slight by creating a permanent rift. Other times the person doing the cutting is an immature, self-centered jack-a$$ who isn’t getting their way. (Like you, I imagine.)

It's really none of your business, OP. Yet you create this overly dramatic thread to repeat the same things you said in the other threads.

Your cr@ppy “advice” is destructive and calling it out isn’t being “overly dramatic,” it’s bringing some reasoned maturity to the discussion. I’ve seen some (not me, ask the moderator) speculate you’re a troll or a 13-year-old. You should take a good look at your behavior, but you’re too immature to do so.

I think you need to take a break from the internet. You don't seem to realize that you are interacting with more than one person.

Yes, we all know there are two of you who think cutting everybody off is the solution to every inter-personal problem. You haven’t addressed any of the valid points raised above, about the value of using your words to compromise, instead all you have is insults. That alone says a lot about your maturity level.

Ah yes, I am so immature for cutting off child abusers and murderers.

Missed that thread which was this?

+1. Also interested. No murderers, but several pp’s who think they’re better than their SIL or won’t provide any info at all.

We ate supposed to assume mean SILs are equal to murderers and advise accordingly apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP returning after a day. I’m talking about the posters who leap to advising every OP to cut their parents or sister off. Yes, some parents seem awful from the OPs’ descriptions. In other cases, there are two clear problems with this.
1. It’s not always the parents’ fault. In some cases an immature OP is clearly the problem. (The SIL thread is an example, yes, yet on the first page one of you advised OP to cut SIL off.)
2. Cutting someone off for a minor offense is destructive and may be permanent. (The certified letter thread, where OP has given zero detail but some of you are yelling “cut mom off” anyway.)

People advising an OP to cut off someone, in the absence of details or when OP is immature, are destructive meddlers in others’ lives.

(As an aside, it’s so strange that one of you cares so deeply whether my thread succeeds or fails. I don’t care. If that’s all you have to worry about in your life, then you really are an immature drama llama.)

I’ve figured out the problem. OP has problems with reading comprehension and/or recalling main ideas from passages she reads. In the certified letter thread, the OP had already cut off the mom and was upset that mom wouldn’t accept her decision. That’s why there was a certified letter-she had been blocked in more common types of communication already. People weren’t encouraging OP to cut her off, because it had already happened. No wonder message boards are frustrating to the OP of this thread, so much reading is involved.

Just out of curiosity, OP. If someone keeps doing something you don’t like, and you tell them repeatedly to stop, what should you do when your words don’t work? What if, when you try to discuss the problem with them, they escalate? Every time. So you either quietly accept what they’re doing, discuss and increase conflict with no resolution-only escalation, or what else?

You are an abuser. You’re insulting another poster and can’t admit there might be some truth in what she says. You distort arguments (that thread was about a mother trying to make contact for whatever reason, and you urged OP to reject it). Instead of taking reason and criticism on board and reflecting, you escalate with tween-level insults about reading comprehension. When your behavior is called out, you cut the other person off. Do you do it for power or drama because you’re bored? Classic abuser profile.

I can’t get away from an abuser like you fast enough. Good bye.

Wait, are you cutting me off? Why aren’t you using your words to work out the problem like OP suggests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP returning after a day. I’m talking about the posters who leap to advising every OP to cut their parents or sister off. Yes, some parents seem awful from the OPs’ descriptions. In other cases, there are two clear problems with this.
1. It’s not always the parents’ fault. In some cases an immature OP is clearly the problem. (The SIL thread is an example, yes, yet on the first page one of you advised OP to cut SIL off.)
2. Cutting someone off for a minor offense is destructive and may be permanent. (The certified letter thread, where OP has given zero detail but some of you are yelling “cut mom off” anyway.)

People advising an OP to cut off someone, in the absence of details or when OP is immature, are destructive meddlers in others’ lives.

(As an aside, it’s so strange that one of you cares so deeply whether my thread succeeds or fails. I don’t care. If that’s all you have to worry about in your life, then you really are an immature drama llama.)

I’ve figured out the problem. OP has problems with reading comprehension and/or recalling main ideas from passages she reads. In the certified letter thread, the OP had already cut off the mom and was upset that mom wouldn’t accept her decision. That’s why there was a certified letter-she had been blocked in more common types of communication already. People weren’t encouraging OP to cut her off, because it had already happened. No wonder message boards are frustrating to the OP of this thread, so much reading is involved.

Just out of curiosity, OP. If someone keeps doing something you don’t like, and you tell them repeatedly to stop, what should you do when your words don’t work? What if, when you try to discuss the problem with them, they escalate? Every time. So you either quietly accept what they’re doing, discuss and increase conflict with no resolution-only escalation, or what else?

You are an abuser. You’re insulting another poster and can’t admit there might be some truth in what she says. You distort arguments (that thread was about a mother trying to make contact for whatever reason, and you urged OP to reject it). Instead of taking reason and criticism on board and reflecting, you escalate with tween-level insults about reading comprehension. When your behavior is called out, you cut the other person off. Do you do it for power or drama because you’re bored? Classic abuser profile.

I can’t get away from an abuser like you fast enough. Good bye.

Wait, are you cutting me off? Why aren’t you using your words to work out the problem like OP suggests?

Whoosh. Everyone here agrees that some people should be cut off—the genuine abusers, of which you’re one. The whole point, which you keep missing, is that not everybody needs to be cut off, nor does everybody on DCUM seeking validation for doing so deserve that validation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP returning after a day. I’m talking about the posters who leap to advising every OP to cut their parents or sister off. Yes, some parents seem awful from the OPs’ descriptions. In other cases, there are two clear problems with this.
1. It’s not always the parents’ fault. In some cases an immature OP is clearly the problem. (The SIL thread is an example, yes, yet on the first page one of you advised OP to cut SIL off.)
2. Cutting someone off for a minor offense is destructive and may be permanent. (The certified letter thread, where OP has given zero detail but some of you are yelling “cut mom off” anyway.)

People advising an OP to cut off someone, in the absence of details or when OP is immature, are destructive meddlers in others’ lives.

(As an aside, it’s so strange that one of you cares so deeply whether my thread succeeds or fails. I don’t care. If that’s all you have to worry about in your life, then you really are an immature drama llama.)

I’ve figured out the problem. OP has problems with reading comprehension and/or recalling main ideas from passages she reads. In the certified letter thread, the OP had already cut off the mom and was upset that mom wouldn’t accept her decision. That’s why there was a certified letter-she had been blocked in more common types of communication already. People weren’t encouraging OP to cut her off, because it had already happened. No wonder message boards are frustrating to the OP of this thread, so much reading is involved.

Just out of curiosity, OP. If someone keeps doing something you don’t like, and you tell them repeatedly to stop, what should you do when your words don’t work? What if, when you try to discuss the problem with them, they escalate? Every time. So you either quietly accept what they’re doing, discuss and increase conflict with no resolution-only escalation, or what else?

You are an abuser. You’re insulting another poster and can’t admit there might be some truth in what she says. You distort arguments (that thread was about a mother trying to make contact for whatever reason, and you urged OP to reject it). Instead of taking reason and criticism on board and reflecting, you escalate with tween-level insults about reading comprehension. When your behavior is called out, you cut the other person off. Do you do it for power or drama because you’re bored? Classic abuser profile.

I can’t get away from an abuser like you fast enough. Good bye.

Wait, are you cutting me off? Why aren’t you using your words to work out the problem like OP suggests?

Still waiting on the thread advising people to work it out with rapists and murderers….