Daydreaming of leaving the rat race/moving to Europe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

Actually one thing many immigrants have going for them is a solid community of immigrants who have a clear way of life to feel a part of. I would feel more isolated as a liberal in some redneck part of Florida than as a Central American in the DC area.

As an actual immigrant I will say please stop comparing a move within your own country to a move to another country. You don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:europe is very expensive and houses are twice the amount compared to income when compared to the dc area. Good luck

And all mortgages are variable rate. You can’t lock into a low rate for life like here.

Not really, you can get one fixed for 20 years, then it adjusts. What country are you talking about? Rates are so much lower in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

NP. Get a grip, OP. I'm sure your MIL is counting her lucky starts to be in this country. People assimilate. You've got some misplaced anger here.

Sorry, OP. Meant to say, PP. My post is directed to the person getting her panties in a bunch because of her MIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

Actually one thing many immigrants have going for them is a solid community of immigrants who have a clear way of life to feel a part of. I would feel more isolated as a liberal in some redneck part of Florida than as a Central American in the DC area.

As an actual immigrant I will say please stop comparing a move within your own country to a move to another country. You don’t get it.

+1

Especially when these people seem to be saying “it’s so hard to live among rural people when you’re so superior to them!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

NP. Get a grip, OP. I'm sure your MIL is counting her lucky starts to be in this country. People assimilate. You've got some misplaced anger here.

More ugliness. Getting to live in the US isn’t some magical winning lottery ticket for every immigrant. You people are really showing your asses today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

NP. Get a grip, OP. I'm sure your MIL is counting her lucky starts to be in this country. People assimilate. You've got some misplaced anger here.

More ugliness. Getting to live in the US isn’t some magical winning lottery ticket for every immigrant. You people are really showing your asses today.

Getting a green card is literally winning the lottery.

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-eligibility/green-card-through-the-diversity-immigrant-visa-program

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

Actually one thing many immigrants have going for them is a solid community of immigrants who have a clear way of life to feel a part of. I would feel more isolated as a liberal in some redneck part of Florida than as a Central American in the DC area.

As an actual immigrant I will say please stop comparing a move within your own country to a move to another country. You don’t get it.

My family are immigrants. I do get it. And I disagree that there is not comparison. NP here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

NP. Get a grip, OP. I'm sure your MIL is counting her lucky starts to be in this country. People assimilate. You've got some misplaced anger here.

More ugliness. Getting to live in the US isn’t some magical winning lottery ticket for every immigrant. You people are really showing your asses today.

Getting a green card is literally winning the lottery.

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-eligibility/green-card-through-the-diversity-immigrant-visa-program

It is for people applying for that one specific visa type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

If you go to local schools you will be an outsider. If you join international schools you won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

DP but this makes sense to me. It’s a different world down there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

I feel like I am trapped in this lifestyle until my kids go to college. It’s only a few more years, bittersweet of course because I will miss them a lot. OTOH, I don’t want to yank them out of school when their in HS and firmly rooted.

NP. I hear ya

+1 We spent a few weeks in the UK this past summer just visiting little villages. I loved it, and didn't want to come back. My spouse is from there, still has family there that we stay with.

I realize that living there is not the same as visiting, but I'd love to just spend several months overseas just soaking up the local culture and food. I think the US has a lot to offer, and I'm sure that foreigners would love to come here but I'm just so bored in the US. Sometimes I think I have wanderlust, and I've been trapped after having kids.

We are stuck here until the youngest goes off to college in a few years.

I have a friend who moved their family to Portugal a few years ago. Their kids were still fairly young, and they put them in private school there. I am so envious. I wish we had done this years ago when the kids were little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

For anyone from the East coast, they will be more comfortable in UK than Florida 100% - Florida cracker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

Actually one thing many immigrants have going for them is a solid community of immigrants who have a clear way of life to feel a part of. I would feel more isolated as a liberal in some redneck part of Florida than as a Central American in the DC area.

As an actual immigrant I will say please stop comparing a move within your own country to a move to another country. You don’t get it.

+1

Especially when these people seem to be saying “it’s so hard to live among rural people when you’re so superior to them!”

It is called “the culture wars” for a reason.

In Florida, there are schools who would not allow children with COVID vaccines to attend.
They ban discussion of our history of slavery because it might make white kids feel uncomfortable.

I know I would fit in better in Paris than Florida.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes daydream about moving to Europe, a mid sized city with tons of amenities but without the rat race. Where UMC people live off $7k per month for a family of 4 (or €5k for a couple being a lot of money), top public schools and private schools are €500 per month. Most of all, I wish I could leave behind the competitiveness and one-upmanship. A simpler life.

Where is this?

I don’t get the impression there is any more or less of a rat race there than here. Depends on where you live but london friends seem just as stressed as NYC friends.

Your problems follow you. You can just as easily live a lifestyle like that here.

Germany

I’m German. Wages are lower in Germany than in the DC area. The cost to buy a house in a desirable region is much higher. You’d be more likely to rent a small apartment.

I would prefer to move back because it’s my home, but I think it’s hard for most Americans.

[Anonymous]

Yes, was just talking about this with my neighbor. My choice would be either Ghent or Lille. Lille is really convenient for travel around Europe and is beautiful and very lively. Ghent is a bit more out of the way but it's a very short train to Brussels and from there you can train/plane to so many places very cheaply. Both have a lower cost of living than any of the major cities in Europe but still plenty of amenities and a high quality of life. Ghent in particular is just lovely, with canals and lovely architecture, and it's also very easy to do outdoorsy things outside the city thanks to excellent public transportation infrastructure and a very strong bike culture. You could easily live there without a car and never miss it. Lille is bigger, I think, and probably has more to do plus more diverse cuisine. I really like both places. I'm unsure if you could get by with just French and English in Ghent (it's in the Flemish part of Belgium) so that would be my main reticence about it. Lille of course you would be fine with just French, and to be honest I bet you could move there with just English and pick up enough French to get by pretty quickly, assuming you weren't working somewhere that required fluency.

I think about this all the time.