Daydreaming of leaving the rat race/moving to Europe

[Anonymous]

We did it. No looking back. A lot happier.

But an important thing to know is that salaries are often a lot lower over here.

If you are truly committed to a simpler life and getting off the treadmill, the quality of life is so much better in terms of free time, lower stress and better quality family time.

If you are looking to re-create your DC standard of living, you’ll want to find a way to maintain some US income source. That said, a US income source comes with American employer or client expectations - so at the expense of the life you are seeking.

I’d also favor making the move when kids or younger or out of the house. And think hard about how far outside your comfort zone you go. A big city with a lot of English speakers? A rural village? A smaller city?

If you are serious about it, come spend at least a month living in a house or apartment here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did it. No looking back. A lot happier.

But an important thing to know is that salaries are often a lot lower over here.

If you are truly committed to a simpler life and getting off the treadmill, the quality of life is so much better in terms of free time, lower stress and better quality family time.

If you are looking to re-create your DC standard of living, you’ll want to find a way to maintain some US income source. That said, a US income source comes with American employer or client expectations - so at the expense of the life you are seeking.

I’d also favor making the move when kids or younger or out of the house. And think hard about how far outside your comfort zone you go. A big city with a lot of English speakers? A rural village? A smaller city?

If you are serious about it, come spend at least a month living in a house or apartment here.

I have done that. I don’t need to have the biggest house or the SUV. I like the daily life there. I enjoy my friends and cultural activities. Personally, I think I would do it when my little one goes to college (a few years). Not sure if DH is on board, he hates it there. Maybe I will just spend a few months by myself there per year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

You have no idea who I am or where I am from. Do you think I am going to pay out my entire life on an anonymous board? I am posting about a specific snapshot of what I am thinking about right now. So stop presuming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

You have no idea who I am or where I am from. Do you think I am going to pay out my entire life on an anonymous board? I am posting about a specific snapshot of what I am thinking about right now. So stop presuming.

^^ lay out, not pay out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

Actually one thing many immigrants have going for them is a solid community of immigrants who have a clear way of life to feel a part of. I would feel more isolated as a liberal in some redneck part of Florida than as a Central American in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

I hear frequently that people want to move to be out if the rat race. I moved from Europe to here and I love it here. I don’t partake in the rat race though. I’ve found my people, we do what makes us happy, sane as we would do anywhere else..

[Anonymous]

Not too many wealthy people are relaxed and at ease.

Those circles are competitive, and not necessarily founded on solid values/humans. Wherever you live.

[Anonymous]

Read some books about ex-pats who moved overseas. It is not all dreamy. Getting most things done is a huge hassle. And you may not be accepted by the locals.

[Anonymous]

I live in North Arlington and I hear people complain about the rat race and competitiveness, but frankly it has no impact on me at all and I really don't see it. I just live my life and don't worry too much about what other people do or spend. You can change your mindset without changing your geography. If you choose to buy into one upping your neighbors, that's on you. My kids are in APS and I don't really see it with them either.

Maybe though it's because I'm a local who grew up here and so is my DH, and we are grounded in our communities and didn't move to DC to try to make something of ourselves. I don't know, but it makes me sad that people are inflicting this kind of stress on themselves totally unncessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes daydream about moving to Europe, a mid sized city with tons of amenities but without the rat race. Where UMC people live off $7k per month for a family of 4 (or €5k for a couple being a lot of money), top public schools and private schools are €500 per month. Most of all, I wish I could leave behind the competitiveness and one-upmanship. A simpler life.

My DH was foreign service and we lived in several European countries and it was lovely but I was so happy to come home to the US. Believe me. The grass is a lot greener here.

[Anonymous]

europe is very expensive and houses are twice the amount compared to income when compared to the dc area. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

NP. I see nothing gross about this. There are different challenges, but still challenges, to moving within the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:europe is very expensive and houses are twice the amount compared to income when compared to the dc area. Good luck

And all mortgages are variable rate. You can’t lock into a low rate for life like here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, you could work on making that come true. But keep in mind that you'll always be an outsider.

You could also simply try to live that life here. Nothing requires you to live the rat race here. Downsize your lifestyle.

Yup, this. And also even if you’re pretty good at the language, it will always be somewhat tiring to engage in something other than your mother tongue.

I’m an outsider where I live now (Florida).

This is a sorta gross comment. Are you really comparing moving to Florida to the struggle of being an immigrant in a foreign land?

No it’s not gross. You have to fit in where you live - I don’t have friends in Florida where I live, but have very close friends in the city I am daydreaming of. It’s just how it is. If you think this sounds absurd, maybe it is. Maybe my life is totally absurd.

No, your life is not absurd, it’s just a mismatch from your expectations. My in-laws are actual immigrants. No friends? MIL could barely ask the neighbors when trash pickup came because her English was so weak. Food, clothes, routines, everything was completely foreign to her, and she didn’t know a soul to discuss it with. Your life in Florida has nothing to do with being an immigrant. Get a freaking clue.

NP. Get a grip, OP. I'm sure your MIL is counting her lucky starts to be in this country. People assimilate. You've got some misplaced anger here.