Is it becoming trendy for young (rich) kids to marry right after college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great trend, if true. Once our kids graduate college, their chances of meeting someone organically go down, and it becomes a dating app world.

Young people don't even know who they are before 30. How could you make an intelligent commitment like marriage at that age? If it works it's luck, because 20's are for being free and mindfully single.

We are all constantly growing and learning. Getting to do even more of that growing and learning with my life partner has been a wonderful blessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great trend, if true. Once our kids graduate college, their chances of meeting someone organically go down, and it becomes a dating app world.

Young people don't even know who they are before 30. How could you make an intelligent commitment like marriage at that age? If it works it's luck, because 20's are for being free and mindfully single.

We are all constantly growing and learning. Getting to do even more of that growing and learning with my life partner has been a wonderful blessing.

+1. We're not the people we were at 23, but we're also not the people we were at 30. It works because we put in the effort and commit, not because we reached a magic age or luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they get engaged during the year after graduation, they're likely 23. With a 1.5 year engagement to save up for wedding costs, that has them getting married around age 25. That's on the younger side, but not super young.

The only kids I know who got married *right* out of college had super strict, religious parents and the kids were getting married to avoid moving home with the strict parents.

I’ve seen engagement photos on campus or on a trip soon after graduation. It seems ambitious rich kids are eager to check the marriage box and “playing the field” in their 20s seems increasingly gross, immature and pointless to them. Hookup culture is passé.

I agree with this, it's what my DD discusses all the time. However, her slightly older sibling (who went to a trust fund school) has already attended three divorce parties, and yes that is a thing among the wealthy women. DS is only 26. Too funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great trend, if true. Once our kids graduate college, their chances of meeting someone organically go down, and it becomes a dating app world.

Young people don't even know who they are before 30. How could you make an intelligent commitment like marriage at that age? If it works it's luck, because 20's are for being free and mindfully single.

That's scary. Barring some sort of disability, I would feel like I had failed as a parent if my (adult) child didn't have a sense of self in their 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great trend, if true. Once our kids graduate college, their chances of meeting someone organically go down, and it becomes a dating app world.

Young people don't even know who they are before 30. How could you make an intelligent commitment like marriage at that age? If it works it's luck, because 20's are for being free and mindfully single.

That's scary. Barring some sort of disability, I would feel like I had failed as a parent if my (adult) child didn't have a sense of self in their 20s.

PP is just projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Young people don't even know who they are before 30. How could you make an intelligent commitment like marriage at that age? If it works it's luck, because 20's are for being free and mindfully single.

You find yourself and grow together. They're committing to a spouse when they're in their peak physical attractiveness. They can have kids while they still can naturally. They're building a family and eating together at home instead of wasting money boozing at a hundred different restaurants to dull the boredom of being a single and childless 20-something. Waiting until 30 is asinine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Handy thought about this, but when I list people from my single days, my friends in the 2000s/early 2010 all married in order of richness. The richest people got married the earliest. I think having a background of wealth makes it easier to settle down because you can afford certain things earlier and don’t have as much pressure to establish your career as people with less.

That's possible. I will also note OP mentioned that a lot of these people are private school grads -- it's possible these are the high school sweethearts who lasted through college or people who have known each other a long time socially (longer than college anyway) because they're all moving in the same type of rich person circles. I saw a similar trend of just-after-college (and sometimes high school) pregnancies and marriages in the small town I grew up in among people who hadn't left the area or didn't want to, so I think maybe it also has to do with people who have/anticipate a limited circle of "peers" feeling confident in committing to their choices sooner.

Some people are naturally ready to settle down sooner, too -- while none of my friends married before 25/26, I'd say about half of us were considering our partners in the light of "could I marry and start a family with them?" by 23 and half were in the "wtf I'm still a kid and dating is for fun" mindset until 27 or 28.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’ll be the first to get divorced, too. This has been my experience with everyone I know who married right after college.

I've seen the EXACT OPPOSITE. I'm 52 and everyone I know that married young is still going strong. The ones that 'settled' in their 30s and immediately popped out kids with almost no time as married couple first--imploded midlife.

Love marriages vs "My time is running out, this one will do'.

This^.

[Anonymous]

While I think it is completely fine to get married after 30, I wouldn’t dissuade people from getting married before 30, either. Honestly, if you want multiple kids, I think it can work out well to date seriously in your mid 20s and get married late 20s-early 30s. If you wait until your 30s to start looking for a spouse it shortens your timeline and puts a lot more pressure on finding someone quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are not rich but our children are in some affluent social circles due to private high school and selective colleges. So many of their 22 to 24 year old peers are getting married and engaged. Ivy Leaguers, even kids in law school and medical school, several private high school kids engaged to classmates! It seems like a half dozen just got engaged in the last week or two - kids who just graduated from college in the spring! Young love is beautiful to see but I’m not sure if I’m seeing it just because our kids are this age or if it is actually a broader trend bucking the whole wait until you’re around 30 to settle down young professional thing?

Yes, the engagement and wedding pics make them look more successful on their socials.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if it is that wealthier young people don't necessarily feel like marriage has to be forever, or if they would divorce later, it wouldn't be the financial hit that keeps a lot of couples together. That could also take the pressure off to keep couples together longer too, if they would marry right after college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great trend, if true. Once our kids graduate college, their chances of meeting someone organically go down, and it becomes a dating app world.

Young people don't even know who they are before 30. How could you make an intelligent commitment like marriage at that age? If it works it's luck, because 20's are for being free and mindfully single.

A small percentage are late bloomers, some never mature but average 25 year old has a good grasp on who they are and what they want. It evolves with time but doesn't change their core. Alexander the Great started conquests at 16 and died at 32 after conquering large part of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While I think it is completely fine to get married after 30, I wouldn’t dissuade people from getting married before 30, either. Honestly, if you want multiple kids, I think it can work out well to date seriously in your mid 20s and get married late 20s-early 30s. If you wait until your 30s to start looking for a spouse it shortens your timeline and puts a lot more pressure on finding someone quickly.

Agree with this. I would add that it is important for women who want to become pregnant to know how to move on from long relationships that are leading nowhere in their late 20s/30s as well. There are a lot of women who wasted 5+ years waiting for a ring and end up dealing with the same timeline pressure as single women in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

This is comical. Of course healthy, well adjusted and wealthy young adults want to marry at 25 as opposed to 35. Barring some huge personality flaw or poor life choices where you have no money, marrying at 35 is ludicrous. Why do you want to marry with dried up eggs? What do you offer your spouse after that?

[Anonymous]

What are you talking about?

No this is not a thing.