Rude people on Buy Nothing/Freecycle groups

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

[Anonymous]

I literally just read a post on one of my sale groups where the seller wants a video call with serious buyers because the item is so special.

I am speechless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1058976.page

No please or thank you! For shame.

[Anonymous]

I've been giving stuff away for years. I prefer my neighborhood group but I do the larger buy nothing weekly and have only had one no show ever. Definitely some people with a hoarding problem but who am I to judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Arlington Buy Nothing group is amazing. It’s over 2000 people and I’ve probably gifted 100 times and only had 1 no show. I’ve received some awesome stuff too.

Don’t even get me started on MONA. Everything is at least 5 emails even for a $5 bag of baby clothes. I once emailed back and forth with a lady 10 times over a week about a baby seat for an adult bike. I was asking $10 for a $90 seat. She then tried to give it back because her baby was too chunky. Sorry lady, it’s yours now.

I love the Arlington BN group. I barely sell on MONA anymore - it seems like it's gotten worse with the haggling and the after-sale questions, but maybe I'm just spoiled by BN.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

You choose who you give it to so anyone rude, you just ignore. Simple.

You forgot the worst is those who private message demanding the stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1058976.page

No please or thank you! For shame.

At least a thank you would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once I was giving away lots of barely used baby bottles (my baby refused the bottle; I was a FTM and freaked out and bought every brand in desperation but none worked). Someone claimed them and said she’d come by later to pick them up. It was a snowy day.

Lady pulls up in a giant Mercedes then calls my cell and tells me to bring them out to her.

Uh, seriously? That’s not how this works. If you want it for free, you get your butt out of your Mercedes and walk fifteen feet to my porch to grab them.

Did she get pissed when you told her to come get them??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely keep track if people are serial no-shows. But I also only try to post stuff that would have multiple people interested, so if the first person doesn't come I just move own the list.

It is annoying though sometimes. I find when I get too annoyed it's better to just take stuff to Goodwill or throw it out. Not everything needs to be posted to FB.

I just take stuff to Goodwill. I don't have time to be messing with Freecycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been ghosted so many times my people. It makes trying to do a good deed not worth the time. Funny enough, I’ve had more luck when I posted something for five dollars versus for free. They actually will show up, maybe it’s because it has some type of value attached and seems more like a deal versus some thing somebody was just gonna throw out? I don’t know.

You're not doing a good deed when you post something to buy nothing. You're getting something out of the interaction (this thing that I don't use is no longer in my house) and they're getting something out of it (hey I've been looking for one of those) and you're both supposed to be building community ties. If you look at the group as your charity project you're probably going to be irritated because no one is in awe of your generosity.

I sometimes get no shows, which are annoying, so I try to wait and post bigger batches of things at once with a preference for someone who takes more than one item. Then there's less to coordinate, and the person who's willing to take 4 things for the one they really really want it more likely to show up because they want it enough to volunteer to take the other three in the first place, if that makes sense.

Disagree- unless it’s huge and bulky it’s a lot easier to just throw away most unwanted items than take the time to reasonably clean them, post and arrange pick up. Taking time out of your day to make them available to someone else who can use them is a good deed and definitely not one I would continue if the recipients were routinely rude/entitled.

+1. When items are posted right there, that's a lot easier than going to Goodwill and hoping you can happen to find something there that looks good for a low price.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

"Building community" is saying something like, "I'd love this for my daughter" rather than "ME," no?

[Anonymous]

I can't stand the people who send a sob story to get picked for the free item. I had one lady send a huge sob story to get a free TV we were giving away and then a few weeks later when I was giving away my son's old Xbox, she used the same story but with a different one of her kids to try to get that.

I hadn't deleted the FB messenger message from the first time she contacted me like she had, I guess, and she blocked me when I called her out. Oop, hahaha.

Or the ones who want you to deliver it to them and when you say that's not happening, they get really aggressive and call YOU an ungrateful bish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with annoying-ness of the no shows, but disagree with calling out the PP talking about doing a good deed. I recently donated a bunch of baby gear that was barely knew used: A stroller, a playpen, three baby gates and a bunch more items. things I easily could have sold and benefited from the sales. The mom it went to cried when picking it up because she was so happy that somebody posted items that she really could use and didn’t have money for it all. In my book that’s a good deed.

If she didn't cry would it still be a good deed? If she didn't say thanks? If she no-showed?

At the time something is posted to BN, the goal is to get it out of the poster's house but not into a landfill. I guess there's a bit of a positive element to the environmental aspect, but you can't make it a good deed based on who picks it up unless the poster asks people to demonstrate competitive neediness in the replies, which would be frowned upon in my group.

Agree. There was another post a few months ago where someone was irritated that she didn't get a thank you. It's your local neighborhood. Rarely are you going to get a "mom crying" because of gratitude. Again, go sell your shit if it's so valuable. You will be mad that no one wants to pay $150 for your baby swing you paid $200 for six months ago.

Buy Nothing is to build community and reduce waste. If you want to be the neighborhood savior, you are going to have to do more.

"Building community" is saying something like, "I'd love this for my daughter" rather than "ME," no?

Build community - I've borrowed a piece of lawn equipment using Buy Nothing rather than buying new. Met a neighbor and now we say hi, message about things in the neighborhood, drop off excess zucchini, etc.

Gave away a Batman and Robin Halloween costume. The mom sent me a picture of her boys wearing the costumes, and I sent a picture of my boys wearing them 15 years ago. It made my day.