Is my private school enabling poor behavoir

[Anonymous]

Be clear about expectations. Not what not to do, but what he should be doing. Discuss together what they should be and simple is best. Write them down on a chart he can see every morning. This is what we expect from you. I will be talking to your teacher at your next conference coming up in X weeks about how you are doing. If he isn't doing it, he should have a problem with you.

[Anonymous]

OP sports camp is not school that’s a ridiculous comparison

The problem is not the school

Something is wrong here . The school has given him consequences. He’s not behaving according to you on this thread.

You need parenting help now. This will only get worse he’s eight

It sounds like impulse control issues. Or just bad child behavior you are enabling. Yes you. Again sports camp vs school not in the same realm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP wanted to sit down with every authority to create a plan of action to get her son to obey, except the kid himself? If you have not taught your child the universal respect for authority, they will not respect authority. And blaming “the system“ for not teaching him what you should guarantees the child will blame everyone around him for the rest of his life.

OP here. I absolutely spoke to my son and do frequently. However, telling me he wouldn’t listen to her in class isn’t something I can do much about. I fully believe my son is at an age where he is responsible for his behavior and can make better choices but I also don’t think it’s in a vacuum. A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective. He needs to be send to the principal and that’s what I said in my email. He’s actually never been sent to the principal, which is the big consequence, and i think he needs to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP wanted to sit down with every authority to create a plan of action to get her son to obey, except the kid himself? If you have not taught your child the universal respect for authority, they will not respect authority. And blaming “the system“ for not teaching him what you should guarantees the child will blame everyone around him for the rest of his life.

OP here. I absolutely spoke to my son and do frequently. However, telling me he wouldn’t listen to her in class isn’t something I can do much about. I fully believe my son is at an age where he is responsible for his behavior and can make better choices but I also don’t think it’s in a vacuum. A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective. He needs to be send to the principal and that’s what I said in my email. He’s actually never been sent to the principal, which is the big consequence, and i think he needs to be.

What are you talking about? Sure you can do something about it. People have walked you through what to do. Conversations and consequences. In your home. Yes, that's inconvenient for you likely. But that's the breaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP wanted to sit down with every authority to create a plan of action to get her son to obey, except the kid himself? If you have not taught your child the universal respect for authority, they will not respect authority. And blaming “the system“ for not teaching him what you should guarantees the child will blame everyone around him for the rest of his life.

OP here. I absolutely spoke to my son and do frequently. However, telling me he wouldn’t listen to her in class isn’t something I can do much about. I fully believe my son is at an age where he is responsible for his behavior and can make better choices but I also don’t think it’s in a vacuum. A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective. He needs to be send to the principal and that’s what I said in my email. He’s actually never been sent to the principal, which is the big consequence, and i think he needs to be.

Perhaps nothing you can do in that moment but certainly plenty you can do once he gets home.

[Anonymous]

So is it a great school or is it enabling bad behavior?

Me thinks your son is pretty bright to have already figured out no one is going to come down too hard on him for anything.

[Anonymous]

We had a school that told us everything was under control, until it wasn’t, and it effectively became our problem.

By that time the problem had snowballed. As parents, we tried our best but from miles away with infrequent communication and the only idea of what might be going on coming from our very biased child and maybe a handful of his classmates, we weren’t able to sort it out.

We weren’t sure if this was normal either, so spent a lot of time trying to learn about what is normal and what happens elsewhere.

In the end, based on everything we learned, our child ended up moving to a different school. We’re all much happier.

[Anonymous]

Miles away and infrequent communication is not doing your best. Get in a car or on a plane and go sort it out.

Doesn’t sound like OP’s son is in boarding school. Sounds like Sheridan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP wanted to sit down with every authority to create a plan of action to get her son to obey, except the kid himself? If you have not taught your child the universal respect for authority, they will not respect authority. And blaming “the system“ for not teaching him what you should guarantees the child will blame everyone around him for the rest of his life.

OP here. I absolutely spoke to my son and do frequently. However, telling me he wouldn’t listen to her in class isn’t something I can do much about. I fully believe my son is at an age where he is responsible for his behavior and can make better choices but I also don’t think it’s in a vacuum. A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective. He needs to be send to the principal and that’s what I said in my email. He’s actually never been sent to the principal, which is the big consequence, and i think he needs to be.

A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective, but you throwing your hands up and shrugging when you get a report that your kid is not listening in class is what, A+ parenting? He needs consequences at home. From you. You know he's a problem in school and you are not doing anything about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does "progressive in nature" mean?

The kids run the class and school, not the adults.

This. It means the school relies on funding from wealthy parents who dote on their kids, thus the inmates must be allowed to run the asylum, just like they do at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Miles away and infrequent communication is not doing your best. Get in a car or on a plane and go sort it out.

Doesn’t sound like OP’s son is in boarding school. Sounds like Sheridan.

That works with a communicative, collaborative school, not one where teachers rebuff meetings, as it sounds like happened.

In our case, switching schools made a world of difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Miles away and infrequent communication is not doing your best. Get in a car or on a plane and go sort it out.

Doesn’t sound like OP’s son is in boarding school. Sounds like Sheridan.

That works with a communicative, collaborative school, not one where teachers rebuff meetings, as it sounds like happened.

In our case, switching schools made a world of difference.

Hard to rebuff a meeting when a parent is sitting outside the HOS’s office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP wanted to sit down with every authority to create a plan of action to get her son to obey, except the kid himself? If you have not taught your child the universal respect for authority, they will not respect authority. And blaming “the system“ for not teaching him what you should guarantees the child will blame everyone around him for the rest of his life.

OP here. I absolutely spoke to my son and do frequently. However, telling me he wouldn’t listen to her in class isn’t something I can do much about. I fully believe my son is at an age where he is responsible for his behavior and can make better choices but I also don’t think it’s in a vacuum. A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective. He needs to be send to the principal and that’s what I said in my email. He’s actually never been sent to the principal, which is the big consequence, and i think he needs to be.

Speaking frequently to your son obviously doesn’t work, so he isn’t behaving with you, either. A teacher pleading with him isn’t working, so that’s at least two major authorities in his life he doesn’t respect and he’s only in elementary school. Nobody will ever care as much about your child as you, and the teachers will do the minimum possible to get him through the year and out of their class. Allowing your child to continue causing resentment and bitterness from adults towards him is terrible for him, much worse than allowing him to face real consequences for disrespect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP wanted to sit down with every authority to create a plan of action to get her son to obey, except the kid himself? If you have not taught your child the universal respect for authority, they will not respect authority. And blaming “the system“ for not teaching him what you should guarantees the child will blame everyone around him for the rest of his life.

OP here. I absolutely spoke to my son and do frequently. However, telling me he wouldn’t listen to her in class isn’t something I can do much about. I fully believe my son is at an age where he is responsible for his behavior and can make better choices but I also don’t think it’s in a vacuum. A teacher pleading with him to stop is not effective. He needs to be send to the principal and that’s what I said in my email. He’s actually never been sent to the principal, which is the big consequence, and i think he needs to be.

What are you talking about? Sure you can do something about it. People have walked you through what to do. Conversations and consequences. In your home. Yes, that's inconvenient for you likely. But that's the breaks.

.

Agree with above. You definitely can do somethings about it. It starts at home. I don't know why you expect the school to handle it when you're th parent and you're like oh I've tried it's the school's fault

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don’t understand. If the school doesn’t seem overly concerned and they feel they have a handle on it, why are you worried?

Because of the Parenting thingy?