Dropping 20lbs+ or more past 40 significantly ages people’s looks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP seems to be shocked that people with cancer and other diseases don't look great? I'm not sure what you expect - I've been lucky to make it to almost 50 without getting a potentially fatal disease, but if I did, I probably wouldn't be super worried about how it aged me, but more about how I might be dying.

Yes, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you're saying that if you stay fat, you'll stay looking younger? Don't overlook the fact that if you stay fat, you're also likely to die younger. People seem to have no trouble coming with the weirdest excuses for giving up on weight loss.

Not really. Obesity levels 2 and 3 are associated with early mortality compared to normal weight. Obesity level 1 has the same mortality rate as normal weight, and overweight has a lower association with with all-cause mortality.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4855514/#:~:text=Conclusions%20and%20Relevance,significantly%20lower%20all%2Dcause%20mortality.

[Anonymous]

I disagree - as long as you don’t get too skinny. Take your goal weight from your 20s and 30s and add 5-15lb depending on your height and build. In my 20s, I looked best at 135-140. In my 40s, I look best at 150-160.

I have a co-worker who lost weight in her late 40s. She went from what appears to be a size 12/14 to what looks like a size 6/8. The first time I saw her I didn’t mention anything because I was worried she had cancer and I didn’t want to pry. She looked so gaunt and haggard and her hair was limp and thin. She has kept the weight off for 6 years and it took 2-3 years for her face to fill in and for her hair to be full and shiny again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The feminine dilemma of being unattractive because you are a round lump vs. being unattractive because you look old.

I love the advice in here about losing the weight slowly. Are you kidding me? I will lose the weight any way I possibly can! Weight loss (especially substantial weight loss) can be difficult to make happen in any state and a lot of the difficulty comes from getting yourself in the right mental state to do it. So making THAT part more difficult -- psyching yourself up to make those tough choices, and then putting a hold on that and going back to normal for a while, and then psyching yourself up to start again -- I'm sure some people can do that but no thank you. IT IS HARD ENOUGH! Not gonna make it harder on myself.

I'm not going to say I hate this thread and everyone in here, exactly ... but some of it is not good imho.

Weight loss is easier than long term weight maintenance after weight loss. Pausing doesn't mean going back to normal--it means staying at a calorie level that maintains your initial weight loss for awhile before restricting calories further to lose more. This is fairly standard advice for substantial weight loss. It helps your body avoid going into "starvation mode," and gives you practice at the maintenance phase. It just so happens to also help with OPs concern about the 'aging' effects on appearance from substantial weight loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree - as long as you don’t get too skinny. Take your goal weight from your 20s and 30s and add 5-15lb depending on your height and build. In my 20s, I looked best at 135-140. In my 40s, I look best at 150-160.

I have a co-worker who lost weight in her late 40s. She went from what appears to be a size 12/14 to what looks like a size 6/8. The first time I saw her I didn’t mention anything because I was worried she had cancer and I didn’t want to pry. She looked so gaunt and haggard and her hair was limp and thin. She has kept the weight off for 6 years and it took 2-3 years for her face to fill in and for her hair to be full and shiny again.

Agree with this.
Most women over 45 look much better at a size 4-6 than a size 0-2 unless they have a really small frame.
I know a few women who are a size 0-2 at a decent height at age 50+ and they look like gaunt birds. One in particular. Wrinkly skin and skeleton. It's not particularly attractive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP seems to be shocked that people with cancer and other diseases don't look great? I'm not sure what you expect - I've been lucky to make it to almost 50 without getting a potentially fatal disease, but if I did, I probably wouldn't be super worried about how it aged me, but more about how I might be dying.

Ummm. This really is about the healthy people who lost a lot of weight. People with cancer etc cannot control things the way the rest of us can. My sister with cancer lost a lot of weight very, quickly without doing anything and even she said she suddenly looked older. It’s not a goal. It’s the way it was for her.

Looking for tips on avoiding getting that gaunt look to the extent possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed this trend for awhile among people I know. Most of these people are otherwise healthy people (a couple lost weight due to cancer and other disease). Those in their early 40s who now look to be in their mid-50s because they are so gaunt (eg, sunken cheeks). Is there anyway to avoid this from happening besides going back in time and not putting on weight to begin with?

What do you mean this is really a thread about the healthy people who lost weight??? Right there in the OP's post it says "a couple lost weight due to cancer and other disease." Those people are included here, they are not specifically excluded -- OP doesn't say "I'm not talking about the people who got sick." Maybe OP meant that but if she did she should have said so.

DCUM does not charge extra for snark, it always comes free with the meal.

[Anonymous]

I would like to understand whether OP is looking to lose weight herself after DH's weight loss experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The feminine dilemma of being unattractive because you are a round lump vs. being unattractive because you look old.

I love the advice in here about losing the weight slowly. Are you kidding me? I will lose the weight any way I possibly can! Weight loss (especially substantial weight loss) can be difficult to make happen in any state and a lot of the difficulty comes from getting yourself in the right mental state to do it. So making THAT part more difficult -- psyching yourself up to make those tough choices, and then putting a hold on that and going back to normal for a while, and then psyching yourself up to start again -- I'm sure some people can do that but no thank you. IT IS HARD ENOUGH! Not gonna make it harder on myself.

I'm not going to say I hate this thread and everyone in here, exactly ... but some of it is not good imho.

I am one of the posters who recommended this. I don't think you understand. If you stop eating and lose five pounds or more in a week it won't be sustainable and you will gain it back. But if you lose one or two pounds than your body adjusts to your new weight gradually. So, you have to have more patience but, it isn't harder.

I am a person who was 190 three years ago and now I weigh 143. I still have to lose about 8 more pounds but, I am much better than I was at 190. Do you understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree - as long as you don’t get too skinny. Take your goal weight from your 20s and 30s and add 5-15lb depending on your height and build. In my 20s, I looked best at 135-140. In my 40s, I look best at 150-160.

I have a co-worker who lost weight in her late 40s. She went from what appears to be a size 12/14 to what looks like a size 6/8. The first time I saw her I didn’t mention anything because I was worried she had cancer and I didn’t want to pry. She looked so gaunt and haggard and her hair was limp and thin. She has kept the weight off for 6 years and it took 2-3 years for her face to fill in and for her hair to be full and shiny again.

This has been my observation of some people. As you said, it’s hard to tell if some people have some disease that prompted the weight loss. For those who i know don’t have disease, I am glad for them. You’re right about the hair in some of these people. That adds to the older look too. does that mean their new eating regime doesn’t involve the right balance of vitamins?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The feminine dilemma of being unattractive because you are a round lump vs. being unattractive because you look old.

I love the advice in here about losing the weight slowly. Are you kidding me? I will lose the weight any way I possibly can! Weight loss (especially substantial weight loss) can be difficult to make happen in any state and a lot of the difficulty comes from getting yourself in the right mental state to do it. So making THAT part more difficult -- psyching yourself up to make those tough choices, and then putting a hold on that and going back to normal for a while, and then psyching yourself up to start again -- I'm sure some people can do that but no thank you. IT IS HARD ENOUGH! Not gonna make it harder on myself.

I'm not going to say I hate this thread and everyone in here, exactly ... but some of it is not good imho.

I am one of the posters who recommended this. I don't think you understand. If you stop eating and lose five pounds or more in a week it won't be sustainable and you will gain it back. But if you lose one or two pounds than your body adjusts to your new weight gradually. So, you have to have more patience but, it isn't harder.

I am a person who was 190 three years ago and now I weigh 143. I still have to lose about 8 more pounds but, I am much better than I was at 190. Do you understand?

I'm the poster who has lost over 75 lbs in the past year so I think I can wrap my mind around what you're saying, thanks. And fwiw, the actual advice in the thread I was taking issue with wasn't just to lose slowly, but to lose and then to STOP LOSING ALTOGETHER for a month or three and then to start up again:

So lose 10 lbs, pause and maintain for a month, lose 10 more. Or lose for 6 months, pause and maintain for 3 months, go back to losing.

I don't think I could have had the same successful weight loss journey if I had stopped trying to lose weight every month or so to level out and just maintain, and then worked myself up to losing again after another one to three months. My weight loss progress has mostly been a pound or two a week anyway, so I'm already practicing pretty healthy and sustainable habits. For someone like me who needed to lose a lot of weight, that whole stop and start approach would have been incredibly hard. If I had done what I did last year and lost 35 pounds in six months, and then heard this lecture that I needed to take a sunken cheeks three-month breather and just maintain (rather than losing another 35 lbs across the next 6 months), I would probably have stopped altogether. I would have lost all the momentum and positivity I was feeling just to add delay because a random person thinks it's a good idea. Maybe this would be helpful for folks who are trying to lose 10 or 15 pounds, or for folks needing to lose more who are psychologically built differently than I am, but holy moly I would never have made it this far doing that.

This whole idea that you're going to encourage people to put up additional psychological and temporal road blocks to making progress on their weight loss because someone somewhere thinks their friend's cheeks look sunken is in my opinion not very helpful but YMMV. I am glad that the approach you have described has worked for you over the last 3 years as you have progressed on your weight loss journey, but I hope you can understand that I also feel much better at 177 right now than I did 13 months ago at 256, that my approach has worked for me (though it won't work for everyone else), that my cheeks aren't sunken, and that for some people encouraging a mid-loss delay will just halt weight loss progress altogether and change their mindset. Weight loss is already hard, we don't really need to make it harder imho.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The feminine dilemma of being unattractive because you are a round lump vs. being unattractive because you look old.

I love the advice in here about losing the weight slowly. Are you kidding me? I will lose the weight any way I possibly can! Weight loss (especially substantial weight loss) can be difficult to make happen in any state and a lot of the difficulty comes from getting yourself in the right mental state to do it. So making THAT part more difficult -- psyching yourself up to make those tough choices, and then putting a hold on that and going back to normal for a while, and then psyching yourself up to start again -- I'm sure some people can do that but no thank you. IT IS HARD ENOUGH! Not gonna make it harder on myself.

I'm not going to say I hate this thread and everyone in here, exactly ... but some of it is not good imho.

I am one of the posters who recommended this. I don't think you understand. If you stop eating and lose five pounds or more in a week it won't be sustainable and you will gain it back. But if you lose one or two pounds than your body adjusts to your new weight gradually. So, you have to have more patience but, it isn't harder.

I am a person who was 190 three years ago and now I weigh 143. I still have to lose about 8 more pounds but, I am much better than I was at 190. Do you understand?

I'm the poster who has lost over 75 lbs in the past year so I think I can wrap my mind around what you're saying, thanks. And fwiw, the actual advice in the thread I was taking issue with wasn't just to lose slowly, but to lose and then to STOP LOSING ALTOGETHER for a month or three and then to start up again:

So lose 10 lbs, pause and maintain for a month, lose 10 more. Or lose for 6 months, pause and maintain for 3 months, go back to losing.

I don't think I could have had the same successful weight loss journey if I had stopped trying to lose weight every month or so to level out and just maintain, and then worked myself up to losing again after another one to three months. My weight loss progress has mostly been a pound or two a week anyway, so I'm already practicing pretty healthy and sustainable habits. For someone like me who needed to lose a lot of weight, that whole stop and start approach would have been incredibly hard. If I had done what I did last year and lost 35 pounds in six months, and then heard this lecture that I needed to take a sunken cheeks three-month breather and just maintain (rather than losing another 35 lbs across the next 6 months), I would probably have stopped altogether. I would have lost all the momentum and positivity I was feeling just to add delay because a random person thinks it's a good idea. Maybe this would be helpful for folks who are trying to lose 10 or 15 pounds, or for folks needing to lose more who are psychologically built differently than I am, but holy moly I would never have made it this far doing that.

This whole idea that you're going to encourage people to put up additional psychological and temporal road blocks to making progress on their weight loss because someone somewhere thinks their friend's cheeks look sunken is in my opinion not very helpful but YMMV. I am glad that the approach you have described has worked for you over the last 3 years as you have progressed on your weight loss journey, but I hope you can understand that I also feel much better at 177 right now than I did 13 months ago at 256, that my approach has worked for me (though it won't work for everyone else), that my cheeks aren't sunken, and that for some people encouraging a mid-loss delay will just halt weight loss progress altogether and change their mindset. Weight loss is already hard, we don't really need to make it harder imho.

If the OP of this thread is also the same person who posted about a friend in their 40's looking like they're in their 60's, I'm taking everything they say with a grain of salt. I do not know of anyone anywhere who is in their 40's and looks in their 60's unless perhaps they did meth or major drug/alcohol abuse, that's it. It's a ridiculous post just to make other people feel anxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like maybe you are trying to figure out how to get your DH to look younger than he looks now. If he lost weight during lockdown he might not have updated his wardrobe. Get him some trendier clothes with a slimmer fit. He may look better with some stubble but not a full beard, so he might benefit from a barber trip. There are things you/he can do outside of weight to lose some of the older look if desired. Better clothes are a common fix that is French accompany weight loss anyway.

Same thing happened to my husband- upping his skin care game helped as well and getting a different haircut. A different hair cut b/c fat under your skin makes your hair stand up more, as you lose that layer of fait, your hair falls differently from your head, the same cut looks different so you have to tweak the cut. Agree with new clothes, shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The feminine dilemma of being unattractive because you are a round lump vs. being unattractive because you look old.

I love the advice in here about losing the weight slowly. Are you kidding me? I will lose the weight any way I possibly can! Weight loss (especially substantial weight loss) can be difficult to make happen in any state and a lot of the difficulty comes from getting yourself in the right mental state to do it. So making THAT part more difficult -- psyching yourself up to make those tough choices, and then putting a hold on that and going back to normal for a while, and then psyching yourself up to start again -- I'm sure some people can do that but no thank you. IT IS HARD ENOUGH! Not gonna make it harder on myself.

I'm not going to say I hate this thread and everyone in here, exactly ... but some of it is not good imho.

I am one of the posters who recommended this. I don't think you understand. If you stop eating and lose five pounds or more in a week it won't be sustainable and you will gain it back. But if you lose one or two pounds than your body adjusts to your new weight gradually. So, you have to have more patience but, it isn't harder.

I am a person who was 190 three years ago and now I weigh 143. I still have to lose about 8 more pounds but, I am much better than I was at 190. Do you understand?

I'm the poster who has lost over 75 lbs in the past year so I think I can wrap my mind around what you're saying, thanks. And fwiw, the actual advice in the thread I was taking issue with wasn't just to lose slowly, but to lose and then to STOP LOSING ALTOGETHER for a month or three and then to start up again:

So lose 10 lbs, pause and maintain for a month, lose 10 more. Or lose for 6 months, pause and maintain for 3 months, go back to losing.

I don't think I could have had the same successful weight loss journey if I had stopped trying to lose weight every month or so to level out and just maintain, and then worked myself up to losing again after another one to three months. My weight loss progress has mostly been a pound or two a week anyway, so I'm already practicing pretty healthy and sustainable habits. For someone like me who needed to lose a lot of weight, that whole stop and start approach would have been incredibly hard. If I had done what I did last year and lost 35 pounds in six months, and then heard this lecture that I needed to take a sunken cheeks three-month breather and just maintain (rather than losing another 35 lbs across the next 6 months), I would probably have stopped altogether. I would have lost all the momentum and positivity I was feeling just to add delay because a random person thinks it's a good idea. Maybe this would be helpful for folks who are trying to lose 10 or 15 pounds, or for folks needing to lose more who are psychologically built differently than I am, but holy moly I would never have made it this far doing that.

This whole idea that you're going to encourage people to put up additional psychological and temporal road blocks to making progress on their weight loss because someone somewhere thinks their friend's cheeks look sunken is in my opinion not very helpful but YMMV. I am glad that the approach you have described has worked for you over the last 3 years as you have progressed on your weight loss journey, but I hope you can understand that I also feel much better at 177 right now than I did 13 months ago at 256, that my approach has worked for me (though it won't work for everyone else), that my cheeks aren't sunken, and that for some people encouraging a mid-loss delay will just halt weight loss progress altogether and change their mindset. Weight loss is already hard, we don't really need to make it harder imho.

Congratulations to the person I am arguing with in here though for losing and keeping off that 50 pounds. That is a tremendous accomplishment and you deserve kudos for it and I'm sorry for being so cranky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Slowing down and pausing during weight loss gives skin chance to tighten (and also helps promote weight maintenance). So lose 10 lbs, pause and maintain for a month, lose 10 more. Or lose for 6 months, pause and maintain for 3 months, go back to losing.

Also setting a target weight that is slightly overweight or at the upper end of BMI rather than the weight you looked best at when you were in your 20s/30s. Older people are often more attractive/look younger at a higher BMI than younger people. Post 50 being slightly overweight (e.g. BMI of 26) is also associated with the lowest all-cause mortality.

My grandma used to say that fat people get sick, and skinny people die. There really is something to having a little extra reserves as you get older, which can help carry you through an illness.

Sorry, grandma, what you want to have is muscle, not fat. Muscle provides the reserve that enables you to get out of bed after you've been sick or had an operation. If you're fat but weak (which is a lot of old people) you'll just lie there. Muscle also means better insulin sensitivity (which means lower likelihood of a whole host of age-related diseases) whereas fat means worse insulin sensitivity (which means more age-related diseases).

More muscle = longer healthier life. Get thee to the gym for resistance training.

The bolded part is not actually what population research on millions of people across multiple continents shows.

I'm not disputing the argument that muscle is metabolically different that adipose tissue, nor that muscle is protective against falls. But the research says nothing about body composition and average life expectancy. Sorry, older millennial/GenX (? right? you're a 38-44 yr old white woman who has discovered barre and Lifting Heavy[TM]?