So, how do you get a baby and a house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women just stop taking birth control. Just being honest. If your husband is broke and you think he’s be a terrible father, I don’t recommend this method, unless you can provide yourself and any kids and don’t mind doing the majority of child rearing

No, sorry. This is absolutely a horrifically awful thing to do. You promise someone you will love and support them and then you deliberately take from them one of the most important and difficult decisions a person will ever make. Terrible.

I mean come on, people, if a man sabotaged his wife's birth control pills not one person would be defending him. This is as bad.

If he vetoes kids and you want them, you get a divorce.

I am a woman and agree this is not justified in any way (and we would not like it if roles were reversed).

On another note, OP, did you not discuss this with your husband in advance of marrying him?

You are engaging in magical thinking, which is immature and maladaptive. Stop being so passive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm going to sit here and wait for my husband to make good things happen for me, geez why doesn't he hurry up already" -- 99% of all women.

I don't know any women like this. In most of the marriages I know, the women are driving these decisions and the man is much more along for the ride. Sometimes he takes a "whatever makes her happy" attitude, but among most of the men I know, it's more like they feel their wives are better at family and financial planning and they defer a bit to her because they don't feel as confident about the timing. Whereas my girlfriends will be like "Yes, we're going to start trying for a baby this year because if it doesn't happen quickly I want plenty of time to do IVF or initiate adoption so we still are parents by 40 at the latest." Like they've really thought it out and have a plan. The guys are much more likely to be like "Yeah we definitely want to be parents -- I'm sure it will work out" and then just assume it will.

I don't know a single woman who just expects her DH to accomplish her life goals for her.

Soooooo true!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get it for yourself. And draw boundaries.

I was miserable when I waited around for men to give me what I wanted.

When I busted my @$$, made a ton of money, bought my own dream home - now THAT was fulfilling.

I told my H I wanted children, and if he didn't, I would need to move on and find someone who did. Surprise, suddenly he was ready.

+1 I told DH I was having somebody's baby in the next year, and I sure hoped it would be his.

This is so awesome!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These aren't things that a man accomplished FOR you, they are things that a man can accomplish WITH you. If your husband isn't able or willing to accomplish those goals with you, then it is time to divorce an move on. But if you are expecting him to do those things alone without you, then you are at least as much of the problem as he is.

This. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. OP lives in the world of make believe.

[Anonymous]

I worked and bought my own house but that was before marriage.

I would not stay in a relationship if the basic goals of your life are not being met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I'm going to sit here and wait for my husband to make good things happen for me, geez why doesn't he hurry up already" -- 99% of all women.

I don't know any women like this. In most of the marriages I know, the women are driving these decisions and the man is much more along for the ride. Sometimes he takes a "whatever makes her happy" attitude, but among most of the men I know, it's more like they feel their wives are better at family and financial planning and they defer a bit to her because they don't feel as confident about the timing. Whereas my girlfriends will be like "Yes, we're going to start trying for a baby this year because if it doesn't happen quickly I want plenty of time to do IVF or initiate adoption so we still are parents by 40 at the latest." Like they've really thought it out and have a plan. The guys are much more likely to be like "Yeah we definitely want to be parents -- I'm sure it will work out" and then just assume it will.

I don't know a single woman who just expects her DH to accomplish her life goals for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women just stop taking birth control. Just being honest. If your husband is broke and you think he’s be a terrible father, I don’t recommend this method, unless you can provide yourself and any kids and don’t mind doing the majority of child rearing

No, sorry. This is absolutely a horrifically awful thing to do. You promise someone you will love and support them and then you deliberately take from them one of the most important and difficult decisions a person will ever make. Terrible.

I mean come on, people, if a man sabotaged his wife's birth control pills not one person would be defending him. This is as bad.

If he vetoes kids and you want them, you get a divorce.

m

-1. I am a new poster. Given that women carry the child, give birth, nurse and do the majority of child rearing, their vote should have a higher weight than 50%. I don’t think an “accidental” pregnancy is the worst idea if there are no other factors such as mental illness, unemployment etc.

[Anonymous]

I got divorced, used donor sperm to get pregnant, and then bought a condo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women just stop taking birth control. Just being honest. If your husband is broke and you think he’s be a terrible father, I don’t recommend this method, unless you can provide yourself and any kids and don’t mind doing the majority of child rearing

No, sorry. This is absolutely a horrifically awful thing to do. You promise someone you will love and support them and then you deliberately take from them one of the most important and difficult decisions a person will ever make. Terrible.

I mean come on, people, if a man sabotaged his wife's birth control pills not one person would be defending him. This is as bad.

If he vetoes kids and you want them, you get a divorce.

+1.
Also, if the man is a loser, why would you want his sperm? Get some other sperm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get it for yourself. And draw boundaries.

I was miserable when I waited around for men to give me what I wanted.

When I busted my @$$, made a ton of money, bought my own dream home - now THAT was fulfilling.

I told my H I wanted children, and if he didn't, I would need to move on and find someone who did. Surprise, suddenly he was ready.

+1 I told DH I was having somebody's baby in the next year, and I sure hoped it would be his.

Told my AP same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women just stop taking birth control. Just being honest. If your husband is broke and you think he’s be a terrible father, I don’t recommend this method, unless you can provide yourself and any kids and don’t mind doing the majority of child rearing

No, sorry. This is absolutely a horrifically awful thing to do. You promise someone you will love and support them and then you deliberately take from them one of the most important and difficult decisions a person will ever make. Terrible.

I mean come on, people, if a man sabotaged his wife's birth control pills not one person would be defending him. This is as bad.

If he vetoes kids and you want them, you get a divorce.

m

-1. I am a new poster. Given that women carry the child, give birth, nurse and do the majority of child rearing, their vote should have a higher weight than 50%. I don’t think an “accidental” pregnancy is the worst idea if there are no other factors such as mental illness, unemployment etc.

Oh there’s mental illness in that scenario all right.

Stay classy DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get it for yourself. And draw boundaries.

I was miserable when I waited around for men to give me what I wanted.

When I busted my @$$, made a ton of money, bought my own dream home - now THAT was fulfilling.

I told my H I wanted children, and if he didn't, I would need to move on and find someone who did. Surprise, suddenly he was ready.

+1 I told DH I was having somebody's baby in the next year, and I sure hoped it would be his.

PP here. That's what I said, ha: I was having a baby and it could either be his, or Lance from the sperm bank who was 6'2 with a full head of hair and Harvard degree.

Lol, "Lance from Harvard." More likely Dave the unemployed loser who j*rks off in a cup for $50 a pop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get it for yourself. And draw boundaries.

I was miserable when I waited around for men to give me what I wanted.

When I busted my @$$, made a ton of money, bought my own dream home - now THAT was fulfilling.

I told my H I wanted children, and if he didn't, I would need to move on and find someone who did. Surprise, suddenly he was ready.

+1 I told DH I was having somebody's baby in the next year, and I sure hoped it would be his.

PP here. That's what I said, ha: I was having a baby and it could either be his, or Lance from the sperm bank who was 6'2 with a full head of hair and Harvard degree.

Lol, "Lance from Harvard." More likely Dave the unemployed loser who j*rks off in a cup for $50 a pop.

Not true. These are all vetted now and identity has to be disclosed. I believe medical students are the most common doners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get it for yourself. And draw boundaries.

I was miserable when I waited around for men to give me what I wanted.

When I busted my @$$, made a ton of money, bought my own dream home - now THAT was fulfilling.

I told my H I wanted children, and if he didn't, I would need to move on and find someone who did. Surprise, suddenly he was ready.

+1 I told DH I was having somebody's baby in the next year, and I sure hoped it would be his.

PP here. That's what I said, ha: I was having a baby and it could either be his, or Lance from the sperm bank who was 6'2 with a full head of hair and Harvard degree.

Lol, "Lance from Harvard." More likely Dave the unemployed loser who j*rks off in a cup for $50 a pop.

Not true. These are all vetted now and identity has to be disclosed. I believe medical students are the most common doners.

*donors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women just stop taking birth control. Just being honest. If your husband is broke and you think he’s be a terrible father, I don’t recommend this method, unless you can provide yourself and any kids and don’t mind doing the majority of child rearing

No, sorry. This is absolutely a horrifically awful thing to do. You promise someone you will love and support them and then you deliberately take from them one of the most important and difficult decisions a person will ever make. Terrible.

I mean come on, people, if a man sabotaged his wife's birth control pills not one person would be defending him. This is as bad.

If he vetoes kids and you want them, you get a divorce.

m

-1. I am a new poster. Given that women carry the child, give birth, nurse and do the majority of child rearing, their vote should have a higher weight than 50%. I don’t think an “accidental” pregnancy is the worst idea if there are no other factors such as mental illness, unemployment etc.

And apparently you don't view your husband as a human but some kind of gumball machine whose only function is to give you what you want.

That's straight up sociopathic behavior. I shudder for any kid that is born into that relationship because they have a parent who has absolutely no respect for personal autonomy.