Does anyone else get jealous of divorced friend’s custody schedule?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason I had kids was to spend time with them.
Also, if my spouse was a good parent, why on earth would I divorce them?

Because he’s a bad husband.

You married him.

[Anonymous]

My ex had the kids one weekend a month. Two weeks during the summer. I dreaded that time with every part of my being. The absolute worst part of being divorced was being away from my kids. I don’t know how people with 50/50 handle it. I’m so grateful that I had legal and physical custody.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have had some very, very dark times together where we really wanted to split up. During those times the only reason we didn't is because neither of us could ever imagine not seeing our kids every single day. It would kill us. So no, I don't get this.

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not jealous of my friends custody agreements, that's crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not jealous of my friends custody agreements, that's crazy!

Yeah, same. Just got back from happy hour with a recently divorced dad friend of mine. I am definitely jealous of the crazy sex stories he has but not at all jealous of the custody schedules

[Anonymous]

Includes half of birthdays, holidays, games, dances, college drop offs and breaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I'm not jealous of my friends custody agreements, that's crazy!

Seriously. What an idiotic thing to post. Divorced her and the kids are impacted negatively in so many ways. You need time alone hire some f** help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Includes half of birthdays, holidays, games, dances, college drop offs and breaks.

What? A lot of divorced people still do a lot of that together. Only the nasty ones are like you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was reading the thread on staying together for the kids, and someone said that they no longer love their spouse, but it was worth it to stay in the marriage to see the kids every day.

I know that divorce is difficult and painful, but if you trust that your ex-spouse is a good parent, the one benefit seems to be that you have entire days or weeks that you aren’t responsible for the kids at all.

Am I just a terrible mother? Looking in from the outside, every other weekend without the kids sounds great.

Yes. Kids are better off in an intact family. If you need personal time, get a babysitter, nanny, childcare, camp, grandparent to give you a break. Its not an easy job to raise kids but by having kids, you signed up for it, unless you were a minor or was raped. If you feel too overwhelmed and need professional help, seek that. If you don't want to be in this marriage for other reasons, seek marriage counseling. Bottom line is to understand your problems and find healthy solutions.

Or PP and her DH can just give each others weekends off? Why does one need to be divorced to do this?

OP here. I talked to my husband about this. He said that he could give me 1.5 hours three days a week.
Frankly, I get more time on my own when he isn’t home. The kids are old enough to be on their own for a bit.

He is really good in bed though, and he knows how to fix stuff, and he makes me laugh. I have no jealousy of anyone’s sex or dating life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the kids were very little I was jealous of divorced friends who had days to themselves. Now that they are middle school and older and easier I prefer to see them every day, especially since they will be gone to college sooner than I realized

Ask me if I am jealous of my divorced friends dating lives and I will say heck yes. My two best divorced friends have beautiful women will them all the time !

I feel the opposite. I wanted to see my kids all of the time when they were little. I felt like they needed me, and it was important. But they are 12, 14, and 15 now, and I feel like my relationship with them would be exactly the same if I saw them every other week and texted occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Includes half of birthdays, holidays, games, dances, college drop offs and breaks.

What? A lot of divorced people still do a lot of that together. Only the nasty ones are like you describe.

Uh, no. Most divorced people do not celebrate holidays together. The ones who do are in the minority..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Includes half of birthdays, holidays, games, dances, college drop offs and breaks.

What? A lot of divorced people still do a lot of that together. Only the nasty ones are like you describe.

Uh, no. Most divorced people do not celebrate holidays together. The ones who do are in the minority..

Heh. H and I are about to go on vacation with his daughter, xW, and xW’s family. FML.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have had some very, very dark times together where we really wanted to split up. During those times the only reason we didn't is because neither of us could ever imagine not seeing our kids every single day. It would kill us. So no, I don't get this.

Same. And I judge parents that, barring some TRULY awful shit in their marriage like physical abuse, don't feel this way about not seeing their kids daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I have had some very, very dark times together where we really wanted to split up. During those times the only reason we didn't is because neither of us could ever imagine not seeing our kids every single day. It would kill us. So no, I don't get this.

Same. And I judge parents that, barring some TRULY awful shit in their marriage like physical abuse, don't feel this way about not seeing their kids daily.

What about parents in the military? Or another field where they don’t see their kids for long periods of time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Includes half of birthdays, holidays, games, dances, college drop offs and breaks.

What? A lot of divorced people still do a lot of that together. Only the nasty ones are like you describe.

Uh, no. Most divorced people do not celebrate holidays together. The ones who do are in the minority..

I said a lot of those things…we do not do holidays but yes for birthdays and everything else on the list.