When dating a single mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I was dating a single mom last year, and I was thinking seriously about first moving to her school district (we both rented at the time), and then in a few years buying a house with her which would be large enough for everyone.

What happened?

I don't know what happened. She broke up with me.

You dodged a bullet, man. Learn the proper lesson and never even think about moving in with a single mom.

Unless the idea of paying to support her kids while they disrespect you and constantly shout "you're not my real dad!" is somehow appealing?

As a single mom, I would never let you move in with me. I got rid of dead weight when I divorced their father. I don't need a man child to take care of again.

That’s fine, I don’t want to support your dead weight or deal with a bitter shrill single mom like you or deal with your demon-spawn.

That's right. Worry about your own demon-spawn. Oh wait, you probably don't take care of them. Judging by what you write, you're most likely a deadbeat who blames women for his own f-ups.

I have full custody. Try again. It's my XW who doesn't pay what she agreed to pay in the separation agreement, but nobody gives a shit about "deadbeat moms", least of all the court system.

Full custody doesn’t mean you are actually parenting your kids.

Well let's see, among other things I plan, schedule, pay for, and transport them to all their extracurriculars, vacations, doctor appointments, sleepovers, birthday parties, and summer camps. I help them with their homework, I arrange and pay tutors as needed, I take them outside to exercise (walks, bike rides, pickleball, kayaking, etc), I take them to the movies, I read to them at night. I cook their meals (including their lunches during the school year) and wash their clothes. Lots of other stuff too. So, I might not be "actually parenting" but I'm doing a heck of a lot more than XW. When the kids are with them, they sit there and play on their electronics while she pokes at her phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was dating a single mom last year, and I was thinking seriously about first moving to her school district (we both rented at the time), and then in a few years buying a house with her which would be large enough for everyone.

What happened?

I don't know what happened. She broke up with me.

You dodged a bullet, man. Learn the proper lesson and never even think about moving in with a single mom.

Unless the idea of paying to support her kids while they disrespect you and constantly shout "you're not my real dad!" is somehow appealing?

As a single mom, I would never let you move in with me. I got rid of dead weight when I divorced their father. I don't need a man child to take care of again.

That’s fine, I don’t want to support your dead weight or deal with a bitter shrill single mom like you or deal with your demon-spawn.

That's right. Worry about your own demon-spawn. Oh wait, you probably don't take care of them. Judging by what you write, you're most likely a deadbeat who blames women for his own f-ups.

I have full custody. Try again. It's my XW who doesn't pay what she agreed to pay in the separation agreement, but nobody gives a shit about "deadbeat moms", least of all the court system.

Full custody doesn’t mean you are actually parenting your kids.

Well let's see, among other things I plan, schedule, pay for, and transport them to all their extracurriculars, vacations, doctor appointments, sleepovers, birthday parties, and summer camps. I help them with their homework, I arrange and pay tutors as needed, I take them outside to exercise (walks, bike rides, pickleball, kayaking, etc), I take them to the movies, I read to them at night. I cook their meals (including their lunches during the school year) and wash their clothes. Lots of other stuff too. So, I might not be "actually parenting" but I'm doing a heck of a lot more than XW. When the kids are with them, they sit there and play on their electronics while she pokes at her phone.

So why are you hating on single moms doing exactly the same thing?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a bunch of divorced women who have sole or joint custody. These moms almost always seem to be doing more than half of the parenting work, and sometimes a lot more than half.

They also usually speak very negatively and even condescendingly about their ex-husbands' parenting skills. My ex-wife used to do this too, and it really annoyed me. I was actually a very involved parent and good at parenting.

Scheduling dating and figuring out sex as a single mom seems difficult. These divorced moms often seem frazzled, over scheduled, weary and also (when it comes to sex and romance) surprisingly impulsive. I've really liked some of the single moms I've met but I haven't been able to get into anything like a normal relationship rhythm with any of them so far.

The never-married cat ladies have been a little easier from a scheduling perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been dating a bunch of divorced women who have sole or joint custody. These moms almost always seem to be doing more than half of the parenting work, and sometimes a lot more than half.

They also usually speak very negatively and even condescendingly about their ex-husbands' parenting skills. My ex-wife used to do this too, and it really annoyed me. I was actually a very involved parent and good at parenting.

Scheduling dating and figuring out sex as a single mom seems difficult. These divorced moms often seem frazzled, over scheduled, weary and also (when it comes to sex and romance) surprisingly impulsive. I've really liked some of the single moms I've met but I haven't been able to get into anything like a normal relationship rhythm with any of them so far.

The never-married cat ladies have been a little easier from a scheduling perspective.

What are your expectations schedule wise? How frequently do you want to see someone?

[Anonymous]

NP. Was dating a single mom. Nice woman but seeing someone every other weekend when her exH had the teenagers did not work for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Was dating a single mom. Nice woman but seeing someone every other weekend when her exH had the teenagers did not work for me.

Were you open to seeing her when kid was around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was dating a single mom last year, and I was thinking seriously about first moving to her school district (we both rented at the time), and then in a few years buying a house with her which would be large enough for everyone.

What happened?

I don't know what happened. She broke up with me.

You dodged a bullet, man. Learn the proper lesson and never even think about moving in with a single mom.

Unless the idea of paying to support her kids while they disrespect you and constantly shout "you're not my real dad!" is somehow appealing?

As a single mom, I would never let you move in with me. I got rid of dead weight when I divorced their father. I don't need a man child to take care of again.

You are a divorced mom. You aren’t a single mom. There is a huge difference.

I'm very much a single mom. I have 100% custody and he pays almost nothing in child support. But thanks for mansplaining that to me.

But he pays something and there is a father in their lives. You don’t get to bare the “single mom” cross, martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll have the custody arrangement to contend with and any limitations regarding the distance she is permitted to move. However, that doesn't mean you couldn't find a new house to move into together. It's going to be really fact specific so hard to generalize.

Single moms don’t have custody schedules to worry about. Divorced ones or ones with baby daddies might. But not single moms.

So, no one who was in a relationship at the time they got pregnant or decided to adopt meets your criteria for “single mom?”

What if someone was raped, decided to have the child, and the man who raped them has visitation rights?
What about a woman who divorced a deadbeat dad, has 100% custody, and is paying alimony?

What exactly is your definition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was dating a single mom last year, and I was thinking seriously about first moving to her school district (we both rented at the time), and then in a few years buying a house with her which would be large enough for everyone.

What happened?

I don't know what happened. She broke up with me.

You dodged a bullet, man. Learn the proper lesson and never even think about moving in with a single mom.

Unless the idea of paying to support her kids while they disrespect you and constantly shout "you're not my real dad!" is somehow appealing?

As a single mom, I would never let you move in with me. I got rid of dead weight when I divorced their father. I don't need a man child to take care of again.

You are a divorced mom. You aren’t a single mom. There is a huge difference.

I'm very much a single mom. I have 100% custody and he pays almost nothing in child support. But thanks for mansplaining that to me.

But he pays something and there is a father in their lives. You don’t get to bare the “single mom” cross, martyr.

This is so odd.
What if someone is widowed and received life insurance. Is she a single mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m defining single mom as a mother who is not married. I’m personally divorced

Most people don’t use this definition.

You come into these threads all the time to say this. You are wrong. Single is the relationship status. Parent means they have kids. A divorced mom is a single mom. A never married mom with a baby daddy is a single mom. A never married mom whose baby daddy has no parenting responsibilities is also a single mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Was dating a single mom. Nice woman but seeing someone every other weekend when her exH had the teenagers did not work for me.

Were you open to seeing her when kid was around?

Yes, but overnights only every other weekend. Not when teenagers were home.

[Anonymous]

Only low quality men date single moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only low quality men date single moms

Most divorced women have kids at home.

[Anonymous]

Some of the divorced mothers I have dated told me about their plans to further alienate their children from the father, so they could get more custody time and therefore more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only low quality men date single moms

True. Dating a single mom is like playing some other dude's saved game.