Guy I’m dating matched with a friend

[Anonymous]

It's OK to drop him since you don't feel it anymore. Your rationale is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

You sound immature. You like him enough to go on multiple dates and have sex and claim you want something serious but haven’t got the balls to actually talk to him directly about your relationship and then you’re mad? Please grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP. Also he did chat with my friend via Tinder, not just swipe. So I'm just not feeling it anymore.

As a guy, I assume every woman I'm dating in the initial stages is also chatting with, and meeting, lots of other guys. I can't afford to get all butthurt about women chatting with and meeting other people.

I agree, as a woman.

There are two types of daters. One type likes to focus all attention on one person to get to know them and decide if they are worth pursuing long-term. The other type prefers to date around until it is obvious that one of the people they are dating is worth pursuing long-term. He is one type, and you are the other. There is nothing wrong with either type.

I don't know why you would bolt without at least asking him about it first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is nuts. The fact that he's still dating doesn't mean he isn't serious about finding a serious relationship. It just means that after only ONE MONTH of dating you, he isn't yet convinced you're that person. That's entirely reasonable. If he were convinced, you'd probably be here posting about he's love bombing you. Try thinking more clearly and not getting caught up in ridiculous games. If you want to be exclusive now, you need to say so and you need to be chill enough to not dump him if he says he's not ready yet because, again, you've only been dating for one month.

100% this. OP, do you know for sure he is 'the one' for you yet? Probably not. Calm down.

(Though obviously your friend shouldn't go out with him due to girl code)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say that him dating others wouldn't be a deal breaker for me but if I found out he was having sex with others while also in a sexual relationship with me that would definitely be a deal breaker.

But you would have had a conversation prior to having sex right? Letting him know that you did not want to be in a sexual relationship with someone that was having sex with anyone else. Because again, how is the other person supposed to know this if it is not said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP. Also he did chat with my friend via Tinder, not just swipe. So I'm just not feeling it anymore.

As a guy, I assume every woman I'm dating in the initial stages is also chatting with, and meeting, lots of other guys. I can't afford to get all butthurt about women chatting with and meeting other people.

I agree, as a woman.

There are two types of daters. One type likes to focus all attention on one person to get to know them and decide if they are worth pursuing long-term. The other type prefers to date around until it is obvious that one of the people they are dating is worth pursuing long-term. He is one type, and you are the other. There is nothing wrong with either type.

I don't know why you would bolt without at least asking him about it first.

It’s obvious that some people are happier dating the kind of person that doesn’t have other options. Couldn’t be me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say that him dating others wouldn't be a deal breaker for me but if I found out he was having sex with others while also in a sexual relationship with me that would definitely be a deal breaker.

But you would have had a conversation prior to having sex right? Letting him know that you did not want to be in a sexual relationship with someone that was having sex with anyone else. Because again, how is the other person supposed to know this if it is not said.

She can have a conversation with him and they can both agree to be sexually exclusive, but it doesn’t mean he will follow the rule.
but it’s not gara te

[Anonymous]

You didn't discuss exclusivity so you are in the wrong for being upset.

[Anonymous]

Ignore all these posters who say you haven’t had the exclusivity talk. If a guy is sleeping with you and is into you, he will not be cruising the apps. Lose this guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound immature. You like him enough to go on multiple dates and have sex and claim you want something serious but haven’t got the balls to actually talk to him directly about your relationship and then you’re mad? Please grow up.

Lol, this describes 99.9% of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also OP. Also he did chat with my friend via Tinder, not just swipe. So I'm just not feeling it anymore.

Yeah. Forget it. If he was a decent guy who was into you he wouldn’t be on the apps. One or both of those are not true.

They didn't have the "let's be exclusive and get off the apps" conversation yet though.

So? It’s one thing to be on the apps, it’s another to be active on them. He’s actively seeking other, um, companionship. I just feel like a good guy who’s really into someone wouldn’t be putting the energy into that. Either he’s a player or he’s not that into her.

I don’t want someone who is going to be monogamous because of a conversation. It’s usually not natural for that kind of person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ignore all these posters who say you haven’t had the exclusivity talk. If a guy is sleeping with you and is into you, he will not be cruising the apps. Lose this guy.

Exactly! It's not a matter of having a binding conversation - it's a matter of observed behavior telling you about the other person's mindset.

[Anonymous]

I mean, maybe don’t have sex until you’re exclusive?

[Anonymous]

I’d be icked out too. Your response is natural.

I’ve dated multiple people at once, and dated distant not important exes of friends. But never this close and certainly not at this stage of getting to know someone. If it weren’t a friend it would feel different.

Neither of you did anything wrong, but it’s clearly too close for comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't discuss exclusivity so you are in the wrong for being upset.

No one is in the wrong. It’s just awkward af.