I got the stink-eye from a grandmother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1,2, 3 Magic, op. Buy it and live by it. Your kid is old enough for it.
The book fixes how you behave and discipline and raise your kid. Catching up flying toys instead of stopping your kid, my something.

+1

We used this method and it's so easy. Now I don't have to count I just have a look that enforces behavior

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 year old has a lot of energy and spirit. When he’s excited or upset about something he doesn’t know what to do and throws things. We’re working hard on it.

Yesterday we went to an outdoor gym class and they had one of those roller coaster riders (light plastic) and those rubber bouncy horses. DS loved the roller coaster but threw it when his turn was over. A grandmother with another 3.5 year old in the class and a toddler (just watching) sort of smiled at me like she understood. Then DS bounced on the horse and got excited and threw it and it almost hit the toddler. If looks could kill, I would be dead. I apologized and she said nothing. She just picked up the toddler who was startled but not crying.

I’m embarrassed. I don’t know how to get my son to stop. Please don’t tell me the only way is to leave the class since the class is expensive and the exercise really helps him. I know this grandmother dislikes me and my son.

The other parents have also paid for this expensive class and shouldn't have to deal with your misbehaving child potentially hurting their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 year old has a lot of energy and spirit. When he’s excited or upset about something he doesn’t know what to do and throws things. We’re working hard on it.

Yesterday we went to an outdoor gym class and they had one of those roller coaster riders (light plastic) and those rubber bouncy horses. DS loved the roller coaster but threw it when his turn was over. A grandmother with another 3.5 year old in the class and a toddler (just watching) sort of smiled at me like she understood. Then DS bounced on the horse and got excited and threw it and it almost hit the toddler. If looks could kill, I would be dead. I apologized and she said nothing. She just picked up the toddler who was startled but not crying.

I’m embarrassed. I don’t know how to get my son to stop. Please don’t tell me the only way is to leave the class since the class is expensive and the exercise really helps him. I know this grandmother dislikes me and my son.

Title: My kid threw a bouncy horse and it almost hit the toddler - I got the stink eye from a grandmother

[Anonymous]

I would give a time out on the sidelines if it happens again but I think you’re doing a good job shadowing him already.

[Anonymous]

You may only have to leave once to get the message across. Keep it simple "If you throw - we GO!" Then do it. No more warnings.

Is he in daycare/preschool? If so are there any issue with trowing things there?

[Anonymous]

Stink eye was warranted. Your kid can’t handle this scenario, or you need to literally BE ON TOP OF HIM in a scenario like this. Stop with the passive ninnying like “Don’t throw, sweetie.”

Team Grandma

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do tell him beforehand and I am trying to stop him from hurting anyone else.

Is there any other way to handle this without leaving the class? It was expensive and he needs the activity. The rest of the class is doing things he can’t throw (except for balls which oddly he doesn’t throw. Ugh)

There are ways to handle it but none of them involve his continuing to throw toys. He doesn’t “need” it more than the other children, and you didn’t pay more to be there than they did, so try to lose the entitlement aspect here.

If you’re not able to monitor and stop the throwing— he stops playing with the throwable toys. There are others he can’t throw? He uses those. Then after a week he can try out a toy (with you standing there ready to *prevent him from throwing*, when you have coached and maybe practiced at home strategies like those discussed here — foot stomping— for what to do if he wants to throw.) it seems like your question was more “how do I make it so much child throws toys and no one blames me” and the answer to that is, more engagement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP here. And I’m the only parent in this class involved and not sitting on the sidelines and I still couldn’t catch the toys before they were thrown.

This will ring true for some parents, including many whose kids have special needs (ADHD, etc). Some kids are more work than others. Don't compare yourself to the parents who can sit back or just give verbal reminders. You have to play the game at a higher level.

[Anonymous]

He needs his behavior under control. You leave.

[Anonymous]

According to your subject line the problem was how the grandma looked at you. Until you figure out that the problem is you and your kid people of all ages will be giving you the "stink eye". Did you expect others to agree with you that the grandma needs to get herself under control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell your son not to throw the equipment, and next time anticipate it before it happens. No biggie.

We tell him not to throw all the time!! OP here. And I’m the only parent in this class involved and not sitting on the sidelines and I still couldn’t catch the toys before they were thrown.

You may need to stop the class for a while until you have a handle on things. It’s not fair to other kids to have things thrown at them.
-signed, mother of a former biter who had to avoid certain situations until he stopped

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe just take him out into the hallway or parking lot so he understands you’re serious about going home if he doesn’t stop. Otherwise…your son doesn’t just get to terrorize the other kids because the class was expensive.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Lots of questionable advice here OP. You really could use ABA.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is an optional enrichment activity that is supposed to be fun. Your kid is not mature enough to handle it. That is okay. Find another activity that your kid can have success at. It will be less stressful for him and you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus OP, your kid could have seriously injured another kid, and it sounds like you just stood there. And all you got was a look? If I were there you would have gotten a lot more.

Yeah OP your kid is clearly not ready for a clas with others. Take sone time to work on their behavior first.