Jealous SIL

[Anonymous]

1. You have the right to be friends with the ex.

2. You also sound terribly judgmental and nasty to this poor SIL of yours.

3. Generally, implying someone is worth less because they stay home and haven't thrown their professional success in your face, or they're homebodies that prefer to stay inside their own country, and prefer to relax over being active, is not only RUDE, it's also WRONG.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it does bother your brother that you hang out with his ex and he just let it go until his wife also expressed her feelings.

[Anonymous]

Do you talk about your brother and his family when you are with his ex-gf?

[Anonymous]

OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it does bother your brother that you hang out with his ex and he just let it go until his wife also expressed her feelings.

Well if the wife of OP's brother chooses to get hysterical over this ...

There's no way in the world that anyone could dictate who I should or should not be friends with. My DH is still friends with the sister of his ex GF. They sometimes meet for lunch. Without me. DH and his ex lived together 30 years ago. Doesn't bother me at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

Just because OP doesn't want to hang out with SIL doesn't make her snobby. Her SIL sounds immature if anything. Why get in between sister and brother and not address her concerns with OP directly?

Just because someone is married to your sibling doesn't require you to be all buddy-buddy with them. And there's nothing "uppity" about it. People are different, you shouldn't force them on each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

Just because OP doesn't want to hang out with SIL doesn't make her snobby. Her SIL sounds immature if anything. Why get in between sister and brother and not address her concerns with OP directly?

Just because someone is married to your sibling doesn't require you to be all buddy-buddy with them. And there's nothing "uppity" about it. People are different, you shouldn't force them on each other.

Of course OP does not need to be good friends with her SIL. And nothing in the post indicated that anyone was asking for that.
SIL getting mad about the XGF is wrong.

What is ALSO wrong is the absolutely irrelevant and judgmental first paragraph of the OP in which she talks condescendingly about her SIL. That is the snobby part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

Just because OP doesn't want to hang out with SIL doesn't make her snobby. Her SIL sounds immature if anything. Why get in between sister and brother and not address her concerns with OP directly?

Just because someone is married to your sibling doesn't require you to be all buddy-buddy with them. And there's nothing "uppity" about it. People are different, you shouldn't force them on each other.

It's come across very clearly that OP thinks she's better than her SIL, because she has a career and a more cosmopolitan way of life. No one is saying these two women should be friends. They are clearly different. But posters are reacting to the obvious lack of respect OP has for her SIL.

And completely separately, OP can be friends with the ex-wife, as long as she's discreet about it and doesn't share this relationship on any social media that her brother and SIL could see. OP has the right to be friends with whomever she wants, but respect for her family means some relationships must not be flaunted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

Just because OP doesn't want to hang out with SIL doesn't make her snobby. Her SIL sounds immature if anything. Why get in between sister and brother and not address her concerns with OP directly?

Just because someone is married to your sibling doesn't require you to be all buddy-buddy with them. And there's nothing "uppity" about it. People are different, you shouldn't force them on each other.

It's come across very clearly that OP thinks she's better than her SIL, because she has a career and a more cosmopolitan way of life. No one is saying these two women should be friends. They are clearly different. But posters are reacting to the obvious lack of respect OP has for her SIL.

And completely separately, OP can be friends with the ex-wife, as long as she's discreet about it and doesn't share this relationship on any social media that her brother and SIL could see. OP has the right to be friends with whomever she wants, but respect for her family means some relationships must not be flaunted.

OP isn’t the one posting, it’s the ex. SIL follows the ex on social media.

Agree though, OP clearly thinks she’s better than SIL, her post drips with condescension. But SIL has no right to dictate her friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

Just because OP doesn't want to hang out with SIL doesn't make her snobby. Her SIL sounds immature if anything. Why get in between sister and brother and not address her concerns with OP directly?

Just because someone is married to your sibling doesn't require you to be all buddy-buddy with them. And there's nothing "uppity" about it. People are different, you shouldn't force them on each other.

It's come across very clearly that OP thinks she's better than her SIL, because she has a career and a more cosmopolitan way of life. No one is saying these two women should be friends. They are clearly different. But posters are reacting to the obvious lack of respect OP has for her SIL.

And completely separately, OP can be friends with the ex-wife, as long as she's discreet about it and doesn't share this relationship on any social media that her brother and SIL could see. OP has the right to be friends with whomever she wants, but respect for her family means some relationships must not be flaunted.

OP isn’t the one posting, it’s the ex. SIL follows the ex on social media.

Agree though, OP clearly thinks she’s better than SIL, her post drips with condescension. But SIL has no right to dictate her friendships.

I agree. How old is the SIL? 12?
Why is SIL following her husband's ex on social media in the first place? Not OP's fault.
Silly SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

NP. Well you’re the one screeching online about how secure you are, so there’s that…

When secure people encounter a bump in the road in life, they handle it without flying to the internet to get validation from strangers. Secure people also do not need to add irrelevant information about how they are so much better than their SIL. If they seek actual advice, they stick to the relevant points and don’t go off on irrelevant tangents about how their SIL doesn’t like to travel, etc.

There you have it. You asked how you were insecure, and I told you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

Still no self-reflection here. Your whole post is about how SIL is less than something you think you are. You are acting like a clueless narcissist. I say this honestly, but why do you have the need to tear her down? Secure people do not tear other people down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, op! I mean, talk about the lack of self-reflection! You sound like an uppity, insecure snobbish type who has no idea what values matter in grown-up life and families.
Your SIL might be this or that, but she sure doesn't seem stuck in the HS mentality you are clearly in and mistake it for "worldliness!"

OP here. I am insecure? Oh please. I am not the one getting pissed over an exgf of my husband. I am not the one who makes her husband call his sister about his upset spouse. If she had beef with me, she should've been the one to call me. That's what adults do. So yes, tell me again how I am the one who's insecure.

I love that insecure is the only thing you take issue with.

Apparently the words uppity and snobbish and lack of understanding values and misunderstanding worldliness do apply!

LOL! Good catch from you! I mean she sure sounds so Hyacinth Bucket, right? I have 2 properties on 2 continents and travel and live in other countries for work. I've lived in 8 capitals on 3 continents and own properties in two of those, and one more in the capital of another state. I supposed I could post the exact same post OP did with OP being on the receiving end(taking the role of her SIL) of my rant? In my heart though, I am just a country bumpkin born in Europe that grew up watching grandma bake strudel and tend to her own garden. I find that I value my grandma and all of the older generations' values and skills older I get.