When did you stop paying for your children to come on family vacations?

[Anonymous]

My parents stopped paying after college. Which is fine, but it also means we never do those multi-generation family trips because we all like different things and DH and I aren't burning limited vacation funds (or PTO) to go cook and clean in some janky beach house.

We visit each other at each other's houses a few weekends each year and have a nice time.

[Anonymous]

It’s surprising to me how many of you vacation with your adult children. Must be a rich person thing. We visit family and they sometimes visit us but we don’t vacation together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll pay for them as long as I can afford to.

This. If they are willing to vacation with old mom and dad I’ll be thrilled and pay. It is the least we can do. Plus it is important For them to travel solo, with their spouse and own nuclear family. I wouldn’t want a trip with me to eat up their travel budget

[Anonymous]

I don't anticipate paying to vacation with my kids when they are adults, but if I was super rich I think I'd be happy to offer. My parents are UMC and never paid for us to vacation with them. A few times they invited us to come crash their vacation condo, which I did a few times when I was younger. A few times I've invited them on a trip I planned and we all went Dutch on it.

[Anonymous]

I would never stop offering to pay for my kids to come on vacation with us. Neither my parents nor D)
He’s parents have ever offered to take us on vacation past college. I think it’s a nice way to bring the family together. So many of my friends have gone on multi generational trips to Alaska, Turks, Italy, etc. they are making wonderful memories. My mom takes her friends on vacation, but has never invited us.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws can’t afford to pay, so they choose really cheap destinations (think camping or an air b n b that is maybe 50 dollars for each family) and we all just pay our own way.

My parents who have much more money but aren’t super wealthy or anything pay for lodging and food but not transportation. I don’t like the idea that they would expect us to go to a place that is expensive and not pay for lodging. When they go to expensive places I’m sure we would be allowed to tag along but they don’t invite us.

I feel like if there is just a general feeling of fairness and not expecting too much from any one party, any arrangement is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s surprising to me how many of you vacation with your adult children. Must be a rich person thing. We visit family and they sometimes visit us but we don’t vacation together.

I think it is a boomer thing..

I don’t recall my grandparents ever coming on a vacation with us, but man my parents are always wanting to go with us. I’m not into extended family trips though so we decline.

[Anonymous]

My ILs pay for all of us, despite of us affording to do so, but they have a lot of money. A ton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s surprising to me how many of you vacation with your adult children. Must be a rich person thing. We visit family and they sometimes visit us but we don’t vacation together.

Visiting family is a trip. It's not a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s surprising to me how many of you vacation with your adult children. Must be a rich person thing. We visit family and they sometimes visit us but we don’t vacation together.

Yes, this entire thread is a rich person thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would always pay for them to vacation with me, if they were going to pay their own way I assume they'd rather fully control the vacation and not go with family. It has nothing to do with what they can afford. On trips with me, they are are my guests.

100% this. I understand that working adults have limited TIME, and if they are going to spend precious vacation days on me, I personally want to make it worth their while.

[Anonymous]

I am 45, married two kids, financially doing fine. We can afford nice vacations. But if my dad (mom is passed) wants to go to a nice place and wants us to come he will pay lodging and good. We usually pay for our own flights.

This is because he is picking the activity and destination and so it is incentive to use our vacation time for this purpose.

If I plan the vacation and invite him, I pay for lodging/food. NOT his flights. Sometimes his girlfriend comes and we pay her lodging/food. This is because we are we are going anyway - "and then hey dad - wanna join?" So we just get a larger rental home.

of course - one or the other always pays for a dinner out as a thank you.

My husbands family does not have as much money and so cost is split, and lodging is cheap. Usually driving for them, but we might gave to fly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming that they want to come. If they are past that point and can't afford to pay, what do you do?

I can't imagine we will ever stop paying for our guests to do something with us. That would be truly odd and rude. If we are inviting guests on a trip with us, we pay. It doesn't matter whether they are friends or kids or whatever. They're our guests so we pay. After all, we don't invite people to dinner and then pass them the check when it arrives. That would be rude. The same with family vacations. If we invite, then we pay.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are 31 (married with two kids) 28 (married with 1 kid), 25 (single) 23 (single) and 20 (in college). If we invite them to vacation with us, we pay. But, it’s only happened maybe twice. More typically -

- They all come home for Christmas. Super fun and we pay for everything.

- Someone gets married and we are all together.

- They visit us separately. We live about an hour from Disney.

-We visit them.

- They leave the kids with us and take little trips. This is my favorite option. 🥰

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s surprising to me how many of you vacation with your adult children. Must be a rich person thing. We visit family and they sometimes visit us but we don’t vacation together.

Yes, this entire thread is a rich person thing.

Exactly.