What happened to your Ex after...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I was the W who cheated. Married and had a family with AP (he was not married) and we’re very happy.

No regrets about leaving xH and never wanted to get back together. He was an angry man (still is) and was miserable to be with.

Maybe your ex was angry and miss arable because he was married to a liar and cheater? Just a guess. Anyone with any class and a conscience would have left the marriage then started a new relationship. Wonder what sanitized version of reality you actually will tell your kids. Tge fact that you look back on your cheating smugly shows how badly you need therapy.

Nah, he was always miserable and angry, long before there was any cheating. I tried for a long time to make him happy before realizing he just wasn’t a happy person and never would be.

I don’t tell my kids because that’s not something you talk to kids about. Weird that you think your children deserve to know about their parents’ relationships prior to them even being born.

I get being upset over cheating. I would leave my H if he ever did. But I also wouldn’t hold onto anger forever. Go through your grieving period, then move on with your life. The people who stay angry forever and wish ill will on their exes only hurt themselves.

Blah blah blah! I don't think anyone wants advice from someone who is not only a cheater but also has a bad picker one angry ex and for a second you pick someone totally cool with banging a married woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my girlfriends who cheated on their H and divorced are a mess.

One was a SAHM and lost custody, moved to FLA and rarely sees her kids.

One moved back home, lived with mom, rarely sees kids. Jumps around to boyfriend.

One kids were old enough to move out, sold house, split fund, got a condo and rotates men.

One lives in a 3br townhouse with her kids. She seems okay.

None of them ended up with their AP.

yep.

Are you saying their situations are bad? None of this seems tragic, or at least what was acceptable for men, and what is becoming popular now with kids (cutting off ties with parents/family — see most recent thread on daughter estrangement).

[Anonymous]

don’t tell my kids because that’s not something you talk to kids about. Weird that you think your children deserve to know about their parents’ relationships prior to them even being born.

You clearly have a problem being honest. It’s totally normal fir kids to ask about when their parents started dating, etc. You won’t tell your kids the truth because the math won’t work, unless you don’t tell them that you were married before - which would be so weird and deceptive. Two friends whose parents were married before have known since we were in middle school. That’s normal family communication is n a family that has nothing to hide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All my girlfriends who cheated on their H and divorced are a mess.

One was a SAHM and lost custody, moved to FLA and rarely sees her kids.

One moved back home, lived with mom, rarely sees kids. Jumps around to boyfriend.

One kids were old enough to move out, sold house, split fund, got a condo and rotates men.

One lives in a 3br townhouse with her kids. She seems okay.

None of them ended up with their AP.

yep.

Well, I know 3 people who ended up with their AP, all have nice houses, and all have been married 15+ years now.

You hang with a real classy crowd.

They do not know each other. One couple is in their 40s, one 50s, one 70s. They are not people I hang out with regularly. They do not know each other.

[Anonymous]

My ex and his AP (both married with young kids) lasted about 2 months after I separated from him. Ex has had a string of girlfriends ever since. He also begged to be with me at one point.

It takes time to heal from all the emotions and anger. You will heal, slowly but surely. I thought I would never stop crying, but I did.

The likelihood of them working out is low. Give baby exactly what she wants. Let her go steal another woman's husband. Let her go build a life with a known cheater. You give yourself space and time to heal. Your wife is off the rails and nothing you can do about it but let her go.

[Anonymous]

My ex and his AP lasted about six months in a highly dysfunctional and volatile relationship filled with cheating on each other.

He's bounced around and has managed to date a bunch of women in their mid-to-late fifties who all have lots of money and haven't been very successful dating. They usually figure hi out in about six months, or there is some huge dramatic blowup when they find out he's on Tinder or cheating on him.

It really makes me a little sick for my kids, even though they don't really understand.

I got married way too young. Deeply regret it. Can't believe he fooled me so badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex and his AP (both married with young kids) lasted about 2 months after I separated from him. Ex has had a string of girlfriends ever since. He also begged to be with me at one point.

It takes time to heal from all the emotions and anger. You will heal, slowly but surely. I thought I would never stop crying, but I did.

The likelihood of them working out is low. Give baby exactly what she wants. Let her go steal another woman's husband. Let her go build a life with a known cheater. You give yourself space and time to heal. Your wife is off the rails and nothing you can do about it but let her go.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex and his AP lasted about six months in a highly dysfunctional and volatile relationship filled with cheating on each other.

He's bounced around and has managed to date a bunch of women in their mid-to-late fifties who all have lots of money and haven't been very successful dating. They usually figure hi out in about six months, or there is some huge dramatic blowup when they find out he's on Tinder or cheating on him.

It really makes me a little sick for my kids, even though they don't really understand.

I got married way too young. Deeply regret it. Can't believe he fooled me so badly.

Two histrionic personality disorders found one another.

My ex and his married AP had blowout fights, stopped contact, then made up, accused one another of cheating on and on. These people are dysfunctional and crave drama. He dumped her and confessed. He’s alone and has spent the last 18 months begging to come back and telling me she meant nothing and he he never liked her, just sex.

I don’t do drama or dishonesty. I certainly don’t do being exposed to non-monogamy without my knowledge.

OP- you will be so much better off. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I was the W who cheated. Married and had a family with AP (he was not married) and we’re very happy.

No regrets about leaving xH and never wanted to get back together. He was an angry man (still is) and was miserable to be with.

Maybe your ex was angry and miss arable because he was married to a liar and cheater? Just a guess. Anyone with any class and a conscience would have left the marriage then started a new relationship. Wonder what sanitized version of reality you actually will tell your kids. Tge fact that you look back on your cheating smugly shows how badly you need therapy.

Nah, he was always miserable and angry, long before there was any cheating. I tried for a long time to make him happy before realizing he just wasn’t a happy person and never would be.

I don’t tell my kids because that’s not something you talk to kids about. Weird that you think your children deserve to know about their parents’ relationships prior to them even being born.

I get being upset over cheating. I would leave my H if he ever did. But I also wouldn’t hold onto anger forever. Go through your grieving period, then move on with your life. The people who stay angry forever and wish ill will on their exes only hurt themselves.

+1. I was the W who cheated, but AP was also married (no kids). We are now happily married. XH was/is a miserable person. He’s still miserable now. I’d love for him to move on, but years later he’s still bitter and angry. DH’s XW is now dating someone. She is a complete narcissist and was shocked that lowly DH would ever leave her. He’s much happier now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I was the W who cheated. Married and had a family with AP (he was not married) and we’re very happy.

No regrets about leaving xH and never wanted to get back together. He was an angry man (still is) and was miserable to be with.

Maybe your ex was angry and miss arable because he was married to a liar and cheater? Just a guess. Anyone with any class and a conscience would have left the marriage then started a new relationship. Wonder what sanitized version of reality you actually will tell your kids. Tge fact that you look back on your cheating smugly shows how badly you need therapy.

Nah, he was always miserable and angry, long before there was any cheating. I tried for a long time to make him happy before realizing he just wasn’t a happy person and never would be.

I don’t tell my kids because that’s not something you talk to kids about. Weird that you think your children deserve to know about their parents’ relationships prior to them even being born.

I get being upset over cheating. I would leave my H if he ever did. But I also wouldn’t hold onto anger forever. Go through your grieving period, then move on with your life. The people who stay angry forever and wish ill will on their exes only hurt themselves.

+1. I was the W who cheated, but AP was also married (no kids). We are now happily married. XH was/is a miserable person. He’s still miserable now. I’d love for him to move on, but years later he’s still bitter and angry. DH’s XW is now dating someone. She is a complete narcissist and was shocked that lowly DH would ever leave her. He’s much happier now.

Wow. You got a lowly cheater. Maybe you will be shocked too. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

don’t tell my kids because that’s not something you talk to kids about. Weird that you think your children deserve to know about their parents’ relationships prior to them even being born.

You clearly have a problem being honest. It’s totally normal fir kids to ask about when their parents started dating, etc. You won’t tell your kids the truth because the math won’t work, unless you don’t tell them that you were married before - which would be so weird and deceptive. Two friends whose parents were married before have known since we were in middle school. That’s normal family communication is n a family that has nothing to hide.

Oh please. I don't know ANY parents who give their kids exact timelines of their entire dating history, who tell details not appropriate for kids like "We were sh!tfaced at a bar" or "We banged during a ONS", or feel the need to share the details of their sex lives. It's really bizarre you think kids should know all of those. Normal families also have appropriate boundaries.

[Anonymous]

My aunt’s husband left her for his AP when she was 7 months pregnant with their first child, because the AP was also newly pregnant with his child. Tongues wagged for decades in our small town. He never laid eyes on my cousin and has been married to the AP for almost 40 years now with several children. My aunt remarried a wonderful man who raised my cousin as his own and they went on to have another child together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt’s husband left her for his AP when she was 7 months pregnant with their first child, because the AP was also newly pregnant with his child. Tongues wagged for decades in our small town. He never laid eyes on my cousin and has been married to the AP for almost 40 years now with several children. My aunt remarried a wonderful man who raised my cousin as his own and they went on to have another child together.

So he abandoned a child? What a stand up stellar guy

[Anonymous]

My ex and AP had an ongoing affair that lasted for years. Ex moved in with AP and they were quite the lovey dovey pair all over social media. We divorced and they lasted just about a year. Ain't that something? All that for nada.

[Anonymous]

I am an AP but married too with 3 kids. My crush is married too with 2 kids. I cannot stop thinking about her. She consumes my thoughts. I even moved to be close to her. I think her husband knew because he moved her to a remote area where I cannot reach her easily. We only made love twice but she was very scared of her crazy controlling husband. I know I would be better for her. I could make her so happy. She blocks me and I have not seen her for months. If I rekindle with her, I will ask her to leave her husband and I can leave my mean and nagging lazy wife.