Is he only interested in sex with me?

[Anonymous]

Hmm. I think the shower selfie was too much. I actually wonder if he meant to send it to someone else if he only kissed your cheek!

[Anonymous]

OP do you at some point want to have sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP do you at some point want to have sex?

OP: sure, after it’s progressed to a relationship- not just casual dating of multiple people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Before I even opened the thread I thought "Yes". After reading it, "Definitely, Yes". That seems too forward (and tacky)

OP: Darn. I guess it's just confusing because he's been so respectful in person (only kiss on the cheek- not trying to get into my pants), and has only texted sweet things so far. After the second date he sent, "you're stunningly beautiful and I love getting to know you."

Wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean he's not nice or a player.

But stop seeing him because DCUM told you to

Welllll yes, but. If you want to have sex in the context of a committed relationship then you set things up accordingly. Either he is immature, or he’s doing this in a sloppy way because he doesn’t care.

OP: for context, he is recently out of a long-term marriage and supposedly I'm the first person he's dated...so maybe he's a bit rusty? Or just awkward?

No, honey. He has a playful style, which is all good, but he’s also impulsive and wants to do/get what he wants.

Did he cheat in his marriage?

OP: I don't know if he cheated in his marriage-I hope not. We talked about our divorces on the last date, but I didn't ask that directly, and it didn't come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Before I even opened the thread I thought "Yes". After reading it, "Definitely, Yes". That seems too forward (and tacky)

OP: Darn. I guess it's just confusing because he's been so respectful in person (only kiss on the cheek- not trying to get into my pants), and has only texted sweet things so far. After the second date he sent, "you're stunningly beautiful and I love getting to know you."

Wanting to have sex with you doesn't mean he's not nice or a player.

But stop seeing him because DCUM told you to

OP: I'm totally okay if he wants to have sex with me AND wants to get to know me as a person. I'll definitely go out with him again. I'm just looking for a way to weed out the players early on, since I don't want to waste time.

They tend to weed themselves out . You don't have to really do any work there. Being overly critical and looking for meaning in everything would make you nuts, cause you to hate dating and miss some good opportunities for awkwardness. For all you know he's been told he needs to be more flirtatious..

You need to learn how to communicate better if you were uncomfortable with the text you either tell him so or ignore the text. You don't tell him you think it's hot and then bemoan him only wanting you for sec

Seriously, OP - you sent him that response and NOW are thinking about "what it all means"! It doesn't mean anything. See him again in person and see how it goes. If you are uncomfortable in person, tell him. Or weed your own self out now, since you don't know what you want from him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

The second text was meant for someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Before I even opened the thread I thought "Yes". After reading it, "Definitely, Yes". That seems too forward (and tacky)

OP: Darn. I guess it's just confusing because he's been so respectful in person (only kiss on the cheek- not trying to get into my pants), and has only texted sweet things so far. After the second date he sent, "you're stunningly beautiful and I love getting to know you."

Blah blah blah. That is not respectful and sweet, it’s an over the top snow job. OP, you sound very inexperienced and naive. Decent guys don’t use the word “love” after the second date. They use the words “may I” and “thank you” a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Before I even opened the thread I thought "Yes". After reading it, "Definitely, Yes". That seems too forward (and tacky)

OP: Darn. I guess it's just confusing because he's been so respectful in person (only kiss on the cheek- not trying to get into my pants), and has only texted sweet things so far. After the second date he sent, "you're stunningly beautiful and I love getting to know you."

Blah blah blah. That is not respectful and sweet, it’s an over the top snow job. OP, you sound very inexperienced and naive. Decent guys don’t use the word “love” after the second date. They use the words “may I” and “thank you” a lot.

OP: Well I was married for the past 15 years and just started dating again, so I guess I am inexperienced in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

The second text was meant for someone else.

Bingo. And I agree with PPs that he’s giving you a snow job, and is a major player.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

The second text was meant for someone else.

Bingo. And I agree with PPs that he’s giving you a snow job, and is a major player.

Eh, I don't necessarily think he's a player. Maybe just playful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

The second text was meant for someone else.

Bingo. And I agree with PPs that he’s giving you a snow job, and is a major player.

Eh, I don't necessarily think he's a player. Maybe just playful.

Men recently out of a LT marriage don’t typically jump from eyelash kisses to sending seminude pics with lascivious requests to join him in shower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

The second text was meant for someone else.

Bingo. And I agree with PPs that he’s giving you a snow job, and is a major player.

Eh, I don't necessarily think he's a player. Maybe just playful.

Men recently out of a LT marriage don’t typically jump from eyelash kisses to sending seminude pics with lascivious requests to join him in shower.

Unless he left the marriage because he was restless and wants to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

Well, sounds like a douchebag to me but hey different folks different strokes, some people like them as long as they are paying for the date.

[Anonymous]

His texts do not seem sweet to me, OP. They seem CREAPY. Way too forward for only the second date.

[Anonymous]

I would have been turned off instantly. Block and delete!