Is he only interested in sex with me?

[Anonymous]

I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

[Anonymous]

Too forward for me after two dates, but if you’re feeling it more power to you. I am definitely waiting until at least one month and knowing that we are dating exclusively before being intimate. It just weeds out the ones without intentions to get serious.

[Anonymous]

That would be too soon for me - it sort of forces that sexual connection when you’re still just getting to know each other. If she happens organically on the second date, fine…but this selfie thing before you’ve even kissed is kind of icky, IMO.

It’s off that he would be a gentleman on your date but send you s photo of him in the shower. I would have reservations, though might see how things go.

How did you react to his photo?

[Anonymous]

^^Meant - if *sex* happens organically

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would be too soon for me - it sort of forces that sexual connection when you’re still just getting to know each other. If she happens organically on the second date, fine…but this selfie thing before you’ve even kissed is kind of icky, IMO.

It’s off that he would be a gentleman on your date but send you s photo of him in the shower. I would have reservations, though might see how things go.

How did you react to his photo?

^odd, not off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

No decent guy would send a picture from his bathroom after just two dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would be too soon for me - it sort of forces that sexual connection when you’re still just getting to know each other. If she happens organically on the second date, fine…but this selfie thing before you’ve even kissed is kind of icky, IMO.

It’s off that he would be a gentleman on your date but send you s photo of him in the shower. I would have reservations, though might see how things go.

How did you react to his photo?

OP: I "liked" the photo and just sent two fire emojis. Wasn't really sure what to say in words! Was that an okay response?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been on 2 great dates with a guy and we've been texting for a few weeks. We're both 40. So far, he has only kissed me on the cheek.

This morning, he texted, "I think about your smile a lot", which I thought was really sweet. I replied, "Now I can't stop smiling", and then he sent a selfie of him in the shower (from the neck up only- nothing else) and said, "Let's get you warmed up in here".

I like that he is flirty, but having been burned by many guys who ended up only wanting sex and not anything more, I am cautious about wasting time.
Do you think this is appropriate at this stage? Or too forward?

No decent guy would send a picture from his bathroom after just two dates.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would be too soon for me - it sort of forces that sexual connection when you’re still just getting to know each other. If she happens organically on the second date, fine…but this selfie thing before you’ve even kissed is kind of icky, IMO.

It’s off that he would be a gentleman on your date but send you s photo of him in the shower. I would have reservations, though might see how things go.

How did you react to his photo?

OP: I "liked" the photo and just sent two fire emojis. Wasn't really sure what to say in words! Was that an okay response?

Don’t overthink it. What he did was a bit awkward.

I’m guessing he’s super flirtatious and thinks about sex a lot. Just be aware that’s a type and don’t take him too seriously. Stay in your own comfort zone. If he has other qualities that will come through in time. IME men like this are more likely to have a wandering eye and more likely to make sex the center of the relationship. If that’s all cool with you, fine, if not then just see how it plays out and don’t get too attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That would be too soon for me - it sort of forces that sexual connection when you’re still just getting to know each other. If she happens organically on the second date, fine…but this selfie thing before you’ve even kissed is kind of icky, IMO.

It’s off that he would be a gentleman on your date but send you s photo of him in the shower. I would have reservations, though might see how things go.

How did you react to his photo?

OP: I "liked" the photo and just sent two fire emojis. Wasn't really sure what to say in words! Was that an okay response?

Don’t overthink it. What he did was a bit awkward.

I’m guessing he’s super flirtatious and thinks about sex a lot. Just be aware that’s a type and don’t take him too seriously. Stay in your own comfort zone. If he has other qualities that will come through in time. IME men like this are more likely to have a wandering eye and more likely to make sex the center of the relationship. If that’s all cool with you, fine, if not then just see how it plays out and don’t get too attached.

I would also say, re: comfort zone, sometimes a guy like this pushes boundaries. Might be unconscious grooming, or just the way they are. Don’t be afraid to put your own boundaries. Like it’s fine to say, too soon! With a laughing emoji or monkey with hands over the eyes. Don’t feel like you have to flirt on his terms to be liked. This is your game, he needs to impress you.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Before I even opened the thread I thought "Yes". After reading it, "Definitely, Yes". That seems too forward (and tacky)

[Anonymous]

I think it’s okay if you have really good boundaries.

For example, with a guy like this, I would never be intimate until we’re exclusive. And usually that would be at least several weeks and possibly a few months depending on how frequently you see each other.

I agree with others, if you’re more of a people pleaser or laid back person this guy will walk all over you. Only you know you.

[Anonymous]

Real men don't send selfies after two days. Real men don't send any photos of themselves in the shower/bathroom. He's a tool.

[Anonymous]

All men are interested in having sex with you.

They may also like you for other reasons but if they can just have sex that's fine too.
Accept this knowledge and don't let bother you.
As for your question , his actions don't bother me. Perhaps a bit awkward but I don't consider it a red flag or a mark of a majorly defective person.

Of you don't want to send or receive partially clothed texts yet let him know. It's grown up time- you are 40 learn to use your words

If he was only about sex I think he would have tried a lot harder for sex your first 2 dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. Before I even opened the thread I thought "Yes". After reading it, "Definitely, Yes". That seems too forward (and tacky)

OP: Darn. I guess it's just confusing because he's been so respectful in person (only kiss on the cheek- not trying to get into my pants), and has only texted sweet things so far. After the second date he sent, "you're stunningly beautiful and I love getting to know you."