Paying for dates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating is costly. You gotta pay to play. I (woman) always offer to split but for the first few dates, no one has agreed to it. If we date more than 5 dates on, we start taking turns.

Same here. Always offer but he shouldn't accept until you're regularly/exclusively dating.

He must accept to split and you should be offering it with the intent to pay and make sure that you do.

If he wants to split and I've offered I will pay half but I won't go out with him again. Sorry. Plenty of dudes who understand how this works.

They know you are a paid escort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always offered to split and never accepted a second date from a man who took me up on it. I’ve been happily married for more than ten years to a man who isn’t hurt by a $150 restaurant bill and who is generous and well mannered— all very important things to know about a potential partner up front! Every part of a date is an audition.

THIS. It's a huge turn-off if a guy takes me up on an offer to split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I always offer but wouldn't keep dating someone who agreed to split. Keep in mind that you are paid more than women just on the basis of your gender, you don't have to pay for birth control or period supplies, you didn't pay for make up to go on the date. Don't be cheap and just pay for dinner.

Please don't make us women look crazy. I agree with OP that he shouldn't be the one footing the whole bill. The ladies should have split the bill with him.

I agree. This is entitlement. Go find a better paying job, stop wearing expensive things and make up if you can’t afford. As far as birth control or period supplies, that’s your issue with healthcare insurers and government. It’s not your date’s responsibility to compensate you.

Lol you want me to give up all those things so that a dude can ask me out in a thinly veiled attempt to get laid? No thanks.

I have to deal with men who try to shove their hands down my pants, get angry when I reject them, drone on and on without listening to a word I say, and send me unwanted dick pics. No way am I paying to put up with that nonsense.

Don't bother arguing with incels

[Anonymous]

42 year old woman back in the dating world too. I always offer to pay for my portion of a first date, but I likely wouldn't go out on a second date with a man who accepts. I also always suggest coffee or a beer at a brewery for a first date. If we like each other, and he asks me out on a second, real date, he pays for that too. After that, I'll start paying as well.

[Anonymous]

It’s just degrading for a woman to accept freebies. Men should date women with dignity and principles not part time escorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I always offer but wouldn't keep dating someone who agreed to split. Keep in mind that you are paid more than women just on the basis of your gender, you don't have to pay for birth control or period supplies, you didn't pay for make up to go on the date. Don't be cheap and just pay for dinner.

Please don't make us women look crazy. I agree with OP that he shouldn't be the one footing the whole bill. The ladies should have split the bill with him.

I agree. This is entitlement. Go find a better paying job, stop wearing expensive things and make up if you can’t afford. As far as birth control or period supplies, that’s your issue with healthcare insurers and government. It’s not your date’s responsibility to compensate you.

Lol you want me to give up all those things so that a dude can ask me out in a thinly veiled attempt to get laid? No thanks.

I have to deal with men who try to shove their hands down my pants, get angry when I reject them, drone on and on without listening to a word I say, and send me unwanted dick pics. No way am I paying to put up with that nonsense.

Sure, we're convinced you are incredibly sexy and attractive. Men are trying to sleep with you nonstop. Please. Get over yourself and the fake image you're attempting to portray online.

Eh. If I were ugly and desperate, would I refuse to go out with men who wanted to split the bill?

Most men are creeps who just want to get laid. I'm not spending thousands of dollars trying to sort the good ones from the bad ones.

FWIW, I always suggest cheap dates. Museums, hiking, grilling at the park. I don't expect a man to splurge $100 on a first date. But if he asks me to a specific restaurant, then yea, he needs to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a matter of money but of equality, it shouldn’t be expected for someone you just met to pay for you unless you are a prostitute or a begger. This trend should just end and there should be a clear rule of splitting the bill. If you are dating regularly then split or take turns.

I agree that the practice reflects a time when basically a man was buying sex and housekeeping with marriage. The trend will probably only end when men and women have the same economic status in society. You can’t erase generations of men having more wealth and institutional control overnight — that is the root of wage inequality, discrimination in the workplace, more women than men staying at home and having career pauses/ working part time. As long as gender roles still segregate along these lines, and men as a social class have more economic power, the practice will remain the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always offered to split and never accepted a second date from a man who took me up on it. I’ve been happily married for more than ten years to a man who isn’t hurt by a $150 restaurant bill and who is generous and well mannered— all very important things to know about a potential partner up front! Every part of a date is an audition.

THIS. It's a huge turn-off if a guy takes me up on an offer to split.

It should be a turn off for him for you not to pay your part.

[Anonymous]

OP, only invite people on dates you can afford. Maybe that means you offer coffee or a beer or wine specific bar? Find someone whose socioeconomic status isn’t going to mismatch with yours, because if buying a $60 dinner is a problem you shouldn’t be in a $60-dinner restaurant, you’re putting on pretensesz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always offered to split and never accepted a second date from a man who took me up on it. I’ve been happily married for more than ten years to a man who isn’t hurt by a $150 restaurant bill and who is generous and well mannered— all very important things to know about a potential partner up front! Every part of a date is an audition.

THIS. It's a huge turn-off if a guy takes me up on an offer to split.

It should be a turn off for him for you not to pay your part.

Sorry, you’re more than a decade too late to tell my husband that. I appreciate his generosity as much now as I did while we were dating, I would hate to have married a stingy man.

[Anonymous]

This is 2022. This shouldn’t even be a question. Split the bill. If you can’t afford it, don’t go out. If you must, clarify your profession.

[Anonymous]

It’s the cost of doing business. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

39 year old divorced woman here, I have not once been asked to split the check and I always offer to when the bill comes. I will however, insist on paying for drinks if we go to a bar after dinner or an event. It's always appreciated even if it's not nearly as expensive as the meal or event tickets. But yes, I agree that you shouldn't expect to split the bill on the first date. I would suggest you become more selective about who you invite out to dinner vs coffee/happy hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always offered to split and never accepted a second date from a man who took me up on it. I’ve been happily married for more than ten years to a man who isn’t hurt by a $150 restaurant bill and who is generous and well mannered— all very important things to know about a potential partner up front! Every part of a date is an audition.

THIS. It's a huge turn-off if a guy takes me up on an offer to split.

It should be a turn off for him for you not to pay your part.

Sorry, you’re more than a decade too late to tell my husband that. I appreciate his generosity as much now as I did while we were dating, I would hate to have married a stingy man.

Why not? If you are stingy, it would make a perfect pair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I always offer but wouldn't keep dating someone who agreed to split. Keep in mind that you are paid more than women just on the basis of your gender, you don't have to pay for birth control or period supplies, you didn't pay for make up to go on the date. Don't be cheap and just pay for dinner.

You can’t be serious.