On a scale of 0-10, how angry would you be

[Anonymous]

If you are both in meetings when your kid needs picking up from aftercare this is a logistics issue not just a communication/spouse issue. What time was it? If you both regularly work late it might make more sense to get an after school sitter. I finish work at 6pm twice a week and the school aftercare ends at 6, so we don’t use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so glad I met my wife before I found DCUM. So full of nasty women.

Awww looky here, another Peter Pan who never grew up and still needs a mommy instead of an equal partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happens to best of the parents once or twice in their parenting lives but it’s not an acceptable as a pattern to themselves so spouse doesn’t have to worry or display anger.

Never dropped a pick up here by “forgetting.”

Maybe he didn’t forget. He just viewed his after hours internal work meeting as more important and knew Mommy would make it happen. Her job comes last anyhow.

[Anonymous]

10. I love how everyone just knew it was the dad lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not trust him to take the kids anywhere in the summer. You hear about young children dying in cars due to absent minded fathers leaving them in hot cars.

Interesting you assume the spouse is a "him."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not trust him to take the kids anywhere in the summer. You hear about young children dying in cars due to absent minded fathers leaving them in hot cars.

OP here, thankfully child is old enough to get out of a car. But the first few years, I was a nervous wreck every time thry were in the car on a hot day without me.

And it’s funny that you correctly assumed spouse is a “he.” Of course he’s a he.

Why do you say "of course?"

[Anonymous]

I would be way too busy to remember or do things for him in the future. Like buy his parents gifts, make him a birthday cake, do any and all favors etc. But before I "forgot" I would promise to do them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the end result? This would determine my anger level.

End result: I had to cancel a meeting, sprint over to aftercare (because spouse had the car) and pick up the child. I was 2 minutes late. And strapping on a mask after sprinting is dizzying.

The excuse: “I was in a meeting.”

His response would put me at a 7,642 on a scale of 1-10.

Same tbh

That excuse would also send me into the stratosphere. And I am the kind of person that if it just happened once or twice because they forgot I would probably not really get mad and just chalk it up to being human. But when I make my human mistakes I feel bad and apologize profusely for the inconvenience it might have caused other people and I try to improve so it doesn't happen again. If he's not doing that part, then yeah, I'd be furious and telling him he was doing that...intentional incompetence thing.

[Anonymous]

10+

But he will never change because you ultimately came to the rescue. He should’ve face the consequences and embarrassment of picking up late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10+

But he will never change because you ultimately came to the rescue. He should’ve face the consequences and embarrassment of picking up late.

And I say that understanding that I probably would’ve done the same as you.

[Anonymous]

Does he have ADHD? People with ADHD engage in a lot of magical thinking as it relates to judging how long a task will take and how long they’ve already been working on a task. They’re frequently terrible at managing and keeping track of time, but are just sure that everything will work out somehow. (And yes, I know that there are also lots of people with ADHD who have learned to manage their time and never fail to pick up their kids, but as a whole, people with ADHD are disproportionately likely to do something like this.)

I’d still be pissed at my spouse even if he had ADHD, but I would feel less like my spouse just didn’t care what happened to our child.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn’t be angry, parent who forgot should be the one feeling angry at themselves, it wasn’t as task assigned by one person to other, it’s their duty as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn’t be angry, parent who forgot should be the one feeling angry at themselves, it wasn’t as task assigned by one person to other, it’s their duty as a parent.

Still not clear what he said or apologized or did to make amends and ensure it won’t happen again.

Certainly if all he followed up with was: I was in a meeting. He must get be quite a stunted person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not trust him to take the kids anywhere in the summer. You hear about young children dying in cars due to absent minded fathers leaving them in hot cars.

OP here, thankfully child is old enough to get out of a car. But the first few years, I was a nervous wreck every time thry were in the car on a hot day without me.

And it’s funny that you correctly assumed spouse is a “he.” Of course he’s a he.

The only times our kids did not get picked up on time from aftercare, it was DWs fault, so this is not a man thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10+

But he will never change because you ultimately came to the rescue. He should’ve face the consequences and embarrassment of picking up late.

No doubt the aftercare will impose a hefty fine for late pickup. But even if he pays it, ultimately it is family money that was wasted.