DD hates her moles and freckles on face

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a lot of freckles as a kid, but they were all gone by the time I was 25. I guess I associate freckles with children. I have looked at other women and don't see freckles on them either (and I know not everyone is getting them lasered off).

Moles though can be annoying. I had a lot of friends take them off in middle school. Especially if they're prominent, growing hair or getting bigger. It's pretty cheap too.

My kid had a nasty mole removed at age 10. It was not cheap, but worth every penny. We used a pediatric plastic surgeon out of Children's Hospital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Chris Chang is a plastic surgeon who worked for 10 or so years first as a pediatric facial plastic surgeon. He is amazing and could remove the moles with next to no scarring.

How much would it cost to remove them? Just curious for my own moles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are several methods to remove moles. I had some facial moles removed by a laser radiowave method. No scars, healed in a couple of days. Wish I had done it decades ago. Moles can get bigger, deeper, textured with age (not due to cancer). If plastic surgeon will do it now, get it done . A traditional dermatologist won't do anything.


This is who I saw, sadly not in DC, but gives you an idea what to look for.

https://www.lovethatface.com/cosmetic-facial-surgery-richmond-va/skin-and-wrinkle-related/mole-removal/

I just called and they can see her in March. I don't mind travelling. Thank you for the recommendation!!!
-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Chris Chang is a plastic surgeon who worked for 10 or so years first as a pediatric facial plastic surgeon. He is amazing and could remove the moles with next to no scarring.

How much would it cost to remove them? Just curious for my own moles.

I had some removed in Bethesda for $550 for 5 moles but he was a family friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Chris Chang is a plastic surgeon who worked for 10 or so years first as a pediatric facial plastic surgeon. He is amazing and could remove the moles with next to no scarring.

How much would it cost to remove them? Just curious for my own moles.

Not much! I paid out-of-pocket and it was a couple hundred for two. But if someone has insurance and is paying 20% or whatever it could be even less I guess.

[Anonymous]

I was a freckle face and they faded and i recall people giving me a hard time and I was able to endure them because I knew I had better skin because I knew tons of sun exposure was not good for a fair skinned person without sunscreen.

Fast forward many years and when you go to a reunion and see those people WOW look who had bad skin now.

I know kids don't want to hear that but let them know how special those freckles are to you

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you're taking care of the moles.

For the Freckles, they'll fade if she is religious about sunscreen. If she doesn't wear sunscreen, she'll get more. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen. Signed, a freckle-prone redhead.

[Anonymous]

Freckles and moles are quite different.

Freckles are very much affected by sun exposure. Moles are too to some extent. At a minimum OP, get your daughter wearing sunscreen on her face daily. That will minimize freckles, stop existing moles from getting darker, and possibly prevent new ones from forming.

But also, I would totally bring a kid that age for a consult and see what can be done about getting them removed and not think twice about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Freckles and moles are quite different.

Freckles are very much affected by sun exposure. Moles are too to some extent. At a minimum OP, get your daughter wearing sunscreen on her face daily. That will minimize freckles, stop existing moles from getting darker, and possibly prevent new ones from forming.

But also, I would totally bring a kid that age for a consult and see what can be done about getting them removed and not think twice about it.

Thank you! I try so hard with her on the sunscreen but she insists she doesn't need it on school days going outside for 20 minute recess. I can't really ague with that. And a mask covers half her face!
-OP

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you are feeling caught between trying to convince her that her likes are beautiful (showing her photos of models and actresses with them) and communicating that the are not beautiful and should/will be removed (saying she can have them removed when she’s older, pointing out the mask covers them up).

This might be making your child’s experience more painful. You obviously don’t love then either (she can tell), but she’s basically been sentenced to still having them for at least a couple more years. That probably feels like an eternity to her, especially in middle school when feelings about your attractiveness really ramp up and can feel very central to your identity.

I think you need to go ALL IN on embracing them right now. Find a way to love them, and when she complains about them, validate her feelings (“I know it’s hard to have an unusual feature and I get that you are upset”) but always reiterate that you LOVE her face as it is. Also, pay her compliments about her appearance in conversations that are not about her skin. Take her shopping and tell her how great she looks in her favorite colors. Tell her how nice her hair looks. Lots of praise. Remind her often that you think she’s beautiful.

She will resist and not trust it at first, but she will come around. She might still remove the moles later (which is fine, I totally support her making that choice for herself) but what she really needs right now is to build a sense of confidence around her appearance and learn to feel good in her body. Fixating in her moles and embracing the idea that masks help her cover them up isn’t helping. It’s communicating to her that she is right to feel ashamed of her face. It’s fine if she doesn’t love her moles, but that doesn’t mean she has to hate them, and she can still like her appearance.

- Someone who had terrible acne growing up and whose mother thought she was helping by focusing on my acne when she could have been working with me on my overall self esteem

[Anonymous]

Freckles are beautiful.

In fact, people get them tattooed onto their face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Freckles and moles are quite different.

Freckles are very much affected by sun exposure. Moles are too to some extent. At a minimum OP, get your daughter wearing sunscreen on her face daily. That will minimize freckles, stop existing moles from getting darker, and possibly prevent new ones from forming.

But also, I would totally bring a kid that age for a consult and see what can be done about getting them removed and not think twice about it.

Thank you! I try so hard with her on the sunscreen but she insists she doesn't need it on school days going outside for 20 minute recess. :roll: I can't really ague with that. And a mask covers half her face!
-OP

You don't need to argue, but if you educate her that these 20 minute bursts of sun are what are causing her freckles, she may come around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Freckles and moles are quite different.

Freckles are very much affected by sun exposure. Moles are too to some extent. At a minimum OP, get your daughter wearing sunscreen on her face daily. That will minimize freckles, stop existing moles from getting darker, and possibly prevent new ones from forming.

But also, I would totally bring a kid that age for a consult and see what can be done about getting them removed and not think twice about it.

Thank you! I try so hard with her on the sunscreen but she insists she doesn't need it on school days going outside for 20 minute recess. I can't really ague with that. And a mask covers half her face!
-OP

So as the mom of a redhead, even the 20 minute recess once a day will make a difference. (Leaving aside the mask issue for right now.) You probably need to experiment with sunscreens that are tinted or sold as part of makeup lines to get her to cooperate with wearing it. If you have not tried that already!

[Anonymous]

Another recommendation that you take her to a facial plastic surgeon. Dr. Jennifer Parker Porter is very good. Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Freckles and moles are quite different.

Freckles are very much affected by sun exposure. Moles are too to some extent. At a minimum OP, get your daughter wearing sunscreen on her face daily. That will minimize freckles, stop existing moles from getting darker, and possibly prevent new ones from forming.

But also, I would totally bring a kid that age for a consult and see what can be done about getting them removed and not think twice about it.

Thank you! I try so hard with her on the sunscreen but she insists she doesn't need it on school days going outside for 20 minute recess. I can't really ague with that. And a mask covers half her face!
-OP

At a minimum get her face lotion with sunscreen (aveda daily moisturizer or neutrogena make great ones). It's so easy to wear and it goes on like regular lotion.