Do you have an ex living rent free in your head?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

Gurrrrl. No, just no. You haven’t talked to this guy since 2015 and you are still pining for him? Get over it. He is married, and he’s a cheater. I think you realize the error of your ways that you should not have been with a married man. This is a chance for a do-over and to live your life like this DID NOT HAPPEN. Meaning, you never knew him, you never got together with him, you never debased yourself. This guy was never yours to tangle with in the first place. So not only do you not have the right to pine for him, pining for him serves no purpose and does not help you in any way whatsoever. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Go out there and live your best life, and kick that guy’s memory to the curb. He has no place in your best life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

Gurrrrl. No, just no. You haven’t talked to this guy since 2015 and you are still pining for him? Get over it. He is married, and he’s a cheater. I think you realize the error of your ways that you should not have been with a married man. This is a chance for a do-over and to live your life like this DID NOT HAPPEN. Meaning, you never knew him, you never got together with him, you never debased yourself. This guy was never yours to tangle with in the first place. So not only do you not have the right to pine for him, pining for him serves no purpose and does not help you in any way whatsoever. This is the first day of the rest of your life. Go out there and live your best life, and kick that guy’s memory to the curb. He has no place in your best life.

Yeah. She is still just as awful. She feels horrible about what she did to the wife and still lusts after her husband years later. She was part and parcel in the deceit. It’s good she recognizes her part in the tremendous pain she played a part in, but her post doesn’t exactly scream remorse while she’s still listing after the woman’s husband and not choosing to move on years later while they have reconciled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

100% not comparable to the depth of what she goes through the rest of her life.

[Anonymous]

Divorced him in 2019. He still lives in my head, because I have to interact and hear about him from our children. Time does mostly heal wounds, though. I can see now he isn't a new man magically treating the next woman better. He's still the same guy doing the same destructive things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have an ex I would go back go in a heartbeat. For about a year after I consistently dated attractive, successful women, but would end any relationship because they didn’t measure up.

Have stopped trying for real relationships now and just have repeated ONS from the apps.

So what happened to the ex and you? Why not give some of these new women a chance?

She broke up with me without that great an explanation, just saying she didn't think we were a great fit for long-term. Not much I can say to that but accept it and try (and so far fail) to move on. I did try to give new women a chance: I dated women in similar stages of life/career as I am, but it wasn't fair for me to always be comparing them to my ex. Now I sleep with women in their 20s, they get bored with me after a month or two and move on, I repeat the process with someone else and no one gets hurt. I probably only have 2-3 more years where I can do this easily, so hopefully I'm over buy ex by then.

Dude, just sleeping around gets old. I don't want to push the go get therapy line, but your ex isn't the only woman on the planet you can fall in love with. Hope the right person comes along....

[Anonymous]

Oh yeah. Married for over 10 year now, but I still think about the ex I had right before him. The sex was SO GOOD. My husband is “meh” in the bedroom. He’s great in a lot of other ways- I don’t regret marrying him, but… ay. I miss that hawt 20-something year old sex lol

[Anonymous]

Yup, no interest in evicting him. We dated 25 years ago and it didn’t work out but I periodically dream about him and it’s so nice to see him. It’s my own version of Same Time Next Year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

It's okay. True love like that, it never goes away. But you can find someone else you feel the same way about.

[Anonymous]

Ex from 10 years ago. He’s the last person I slept with before I met DH. I fantasize about him very often. Very glad we are not together, we were not a good match and I like the life I’ve built with DH, but I enjoy fantasizing about ex’s and he is at the top of the list. Every few years I’ll get a message from him (never remotely sexual or romantic) and it really is a rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

It's okay. True love like that, it never goes away. But you can find someone else you feel the same way about.

True love that was one-sided. The problem is she keeps building it up in her head and romanticizing it. He made a choice and it wasn’t her. The sooner she faces that, the sooner she can stop living in fantasy world of 7 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

It's okay. True love like that, it never goes away. But you can find someone else you feel the same way about.

True love that was one-sided. The problem is she keeps building it up in her head and romanticizing it. He made a choice and it wasn’t her. The sooner she faces that, the sooner she can stop living in fantasy world of 7 years ago.

Women who engage in affairs are like that. They will never give up the fantasy version they believe in their head, even when dumped rather cruelly. I’m dealing it with my friend now. She’s married and was cruelly dumped by her married AP and she’s built this whole distorted version of what it was and what it meant. I was there through all of it. She was a booty call. She always knew he loved his wife and wasn’t going to leave, but she thought she could change his mind.

Now, of course, she forgets the awful things he said to her and the way he treated her at the end. I’m done listening to her. She will never be happy. And she also treats her own husband like crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

It's okay. True love like that, it never goes away. But you can find someone else you feel the same way about.

True love that was one-sided. The problem is she keeps building it up in her head and romanticizing it. He made a choice and it wasn’t her. The sooner she faces that, the sooner she can stop living in fantasy world of 7 years ago.

Women who engage in affairs are like that. They will never give up the fantasy version they believe in their head, even when dumped rather cruelly. I’m dealing it with my friend now. She’s married and was cruelly dumped by her married AP and she’s built this whole distorted version of what it was and what it meant. I was there through all of it. She was a booty call. She always knew he loved his wife and wasn’t going to leave, but she thought she could change his mind.

Now, of course, she forgets the awful things he said to her and the way he treated her at the end. I’m done listening to her. She will never be happy. And she also treats her own husband like crap.

Does her husband know about the affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ex-OW is still living in my head. She won’t leave.

Ditto… 14 years. I’ve seen her twice in 14 years. First time was brutally painful. Second time was much easier.

And they didn’t think of us once. Life is not fair.

What do you know. I think about what I did to her every day. I am in constant emotional pain and tell myself it is because of and incomparable to what I did to her. I haven’t seen him since 2013 or spoken to him since 2015 and still think of him, and her, constantly. I’ve thought about sending her a note just to tell her that it really is over and if she still thinks about me she shouldn’t. But I don’t want to bother her.

First, don’t contact her. Second, you’ve done your time. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and move on. Fact is that the husband likely would’ve cheated anyway, whether it was with you or someone else. The main culprit here is the husband, and you the accomplice have paid the price. I think you should just chalk this up as a very big mistake that you’ve atoned for and won’t repeat again.

Thanks, the other problem is that I am still in love with him. I have tried so hard for so long not to be and it never goes away.

It's okay. True love like that, it never goes away. But you can find someone else you feel the same way about.

True love that was one-sided. The problem is she keeps building it up in her head and romanticizing it. He made a choice and it wasn’t her. The sooner she faces that, the sooner she can stop living in fantasy world of 7 years ago.

Women who engage in affairs are like that. They will never give up the fantasy version they believe in their head, even when dumped rather cruelly. I’m dealing it with my friend now. She’s married and was cruelly dumped by her married AP and she’s built this whole distorted version of what it was and what it meant. I was there through all of it. She was a booty call. She always knew he loved his wife and wasn’t going to leave, but she thought she could change his mind.

Now, of course, she forgets the awful things
he said to her and the way he treated her at the end. I’m done listening to her. She will never be happy. And she also treats her own husband like crap.

Does her husband know about the affair?

No. Though he’s an idiot because it was staring him in the face, so obvious. He chooses to buy her crap that it wasn’t sex and only 1 time. They were together 3 years and he wasn’t even her first affair.