When to Call Police on DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP—please just leave. And file for divorce. You don’t need reasons, irreconcilable differences and done .

+100

This is a toxic environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last night she assaulted me and broke my glasses. Hesitant to call b/c I’ve heard police don’t believe men but I need documentation of her violent behavior for divorce cause.

My spouse is always the one to start the fight - always. A few years ago she threw a vacuum cleaner at me and I pushed it aside and she fell down. I heard through MY MOTHER that she told her mother I PUSHED HER DOWN. We were on the verge of divorce. Since then I ALWAY - ALWAYS - ALWAYS turn on the video recording or mic on my iPhone. It's very easy to do and it records VERY WELL even in your pocket. I have done this several times when I know she's trying to start something just so I have recorded proof.

Also, if you have an iPhone there is a nice trick. You can set up a trigger when you tap the back of the iPhone two times real quick it will launch any app. This includes the default recording app. I have this set to that. So if I ever need to start recording anything (voice only, no video) I just double tap the back of my iPhone and I place it in my pocket.

How do you turn this on for the mic specifically?

[Anonymous]

Good luck calling the police--they will arrest you both.

[Anonymous]

No kids?

Just leave. Be sure to take whatever you need in case she changes the locks. Medication, personal items, enough clothes, etc.

Before you go—and when she’s sober—tell her that her alcoholism has prompted you to pursue divorce. Tell her you hope she gets the help she needs.

Talk to a lawyer asap.

And, perhaps tell your mom to tell her mom that she’s alcoholic and they should intervene.

Count your lucky stars you don’t have kids.

[Anonymous]

As a first step, I would join Al-Anon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a first step, I would join Al-Anon

Why? He’s not planning to stay and help her navigate this. No need to join if you are moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. Often an abuser provokes and psychologically nitpicks and invited and then records the outcome. The non-liar, honest one has no evidence of what the household was really like because they are t recording and gaslighting and hiding everything.

I’d be wary of stored video/recordings.

*invokes

+1
This is the situation I'm in. My husband keeps threatening to call the police on me for being....angry at him. Neither one of us has ever been violent, but he's convinced that he should call the police on me. He's a pathological liar and believes every lie coming out of his mouth eventually, then gets mad at me when I don't go along with this stupid charade of acting like it's true. He feels truly victimized. I'm pretty sure he has an undiagnosed mental illness, but he'd never actually go. Just waiting for my daughter to be a tad older then I'm out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. Often an abuser provokes and psychologically nitpicks and invited and then records the outcome. The non-liar, honest one has no evidence of what the household was really like because they are t recording and gaslighting and hiding everything.

I’d be wary of stored video/recordings.

*invokes

+1
This is the situation I'm in. My husband keeps threatening to call the police on me for being....angry at him. Neither one of us has ever been violent, but he's convinced that he should call the police on me. He's a pathological liar and believes every lie coming out of his mouth eventually, then gets mad at me when I don't go along with this stupid charade of acting like it's true. He feels truly victimized. I'm pretty sure he has an undiagnosed mental illness, but he'd never actually go. Just waiting for my daughter to be a tad older then I'm out.

+1 with holes in the wall and everything. Was a complete explosive angry a-hole at home during the affair. After was “the victim”. And wanted to record and document a normal horrified response to a complete blindsided betrayal complete with exposure to STIs.

It is mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She attacked me.

And...sorry to say, you're a man so nobody cares. If all you have to show for this attack is broken glasses, good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be mindful that when you bring police into your home you are bringing in people with guns who do not work for you and who you do not control, and who have a significantly broader latitude in the use of force, including deadly force, than mere “ordinary” people do.

Be mindful also that if the police believer her and not you, you’re the one getting locked up.

Be further mindful that whoever gets locked up, jails are very dangerous places.

If you want to document injuries, go to the ER.

If your wife is BIPOC, the police are very likely to murder her, even with her hands up.

That would solve the problem also.

[Anonymous]

Please leave and go someplace safe OP, if you don't have children to protect.

[Anonymous]

OP, honey, just leave no kids. Go someplace safe, friends, family, hotel if you have to leave and file for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Call a domestic violence hotline. They will be able to give you the best advice, not DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She attacked me.

Out of the blue randomly? There was no provocation?

No provocation beyond her polishing the ff her evening bottle of wine and than bring a nasty drunk whose tongue is too loose for polite company. When she started in about how my relatives deserve to die I went downstairs and she demanded I leave for “disrespecting” her and started to throw things. She hit me in the face with a tape dispenser, hence the broken glasses.

Merry Christmas!

No kids.

No kids. Run away and divorce her now

[Anonymous]

What do you need to prove? Just end it and leave. Why involve the police?