When to Call Police on DW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She attacked me.

Out of the blue randomly? There was no provocation?

No provocation beyond her polishing the ff her evening bottle of wine and than bring a nasty drunk whose tongue is too loose for polite company. When she started in about how my relatives deserve to die I went downstairs and she demanded I leave for “disrespecting” her and started to throw things. She hit me in the face with a tape dispenser, hence the broken glasses.

Merry Christmas!

No kids.

Time to leave. Seriously get out of the house and file for divorce. No kids, she's a drunk, and she assaults you? Whoever told you you have to build a case for divorce with a paper trail was lying. Just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be mindful that when you bring police into your home you are bringing in people with guns who do not work for you and who you do not control, and who have a significantly broader latitude in the use of force, including deadly force, than mere “ordinary” people do.

Be mindful also that if the police believer her and not you, you’re the one getting locked up.

Be further mindful that whoever gets locked up, jails are very dangerous places.

If you want to document injuries, go to the ER.

If your wife is BIPOC, the police are very likely to murder her, even with her hands up.

[Anonymous]

Leave immediately. You can receive a TPO if you are concerned about stalking behavior. If you don’t have kids the documentation of abuse will be irrelevant in your divorce case and even if it wasn’t, is it really worth it to risk your life?

[Anonymous]

Leave, divorce and move on.

[Anonymous]

1. Talk to a lawyer. When my wife assaulted me, he said don't call the police because she will lie and say you hit her.
2. Record.
3. Sic the lawyer on her.

[Anonymous]

As someone who sadly went down a similar path, I can say the police are only helpful if you fear for your life in the moment. Otherwise you are inviting trouble by calling the police.

I loved the recommendation to start recording via a quick tap on the phone. Consider doing that next time things escalate.

If you want a divorce, leave now. If you don’t or aren’t sure, you both need therapy ASAP. Search this board for recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be mindful that when you bring police into your home you are bringing in people with guns who do not work for you and who you do not control, and who have a significantly broader latitude in the use of force, including deadly force, than mere “ordinary” people do.

Be mindful also that if the police believer her and not you, you’re the one getting locked up.

Be further mindful that whoever gets locked up, jails are very dangerous places.

If you want to document injuries, go to the ER.

If your wife is BIPOC, the police are very likely to murder her, even with her hands up.

Statistically, many, many more people are killed by domestic violence/abusers, not by cops showing up to diffuse it.

[Anonymous]

Why do you stay, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave, divorce and move on.

That too!

[Anonymous]

No kids? Just leave dude. Ef that

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. Often an abuser provokes and psychologically nitpicks and invited and then records the outcome. The non-liar, honest one has no evidence of what the household was really like because they are t recording and gaslighting and hiding everything.

I’d be wary of stored video/recordings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. Often an abuser provokes and psychologically nitpicks and invited and then records the outcome. The non-liar, honest one has no evidence of what the household was really like because they are t recording and gaslighting and hiding everything.

I’d be wary of stored video/recordings.

*invokes

[Anonymous]

OP—please just leave. And file for divorce. You don’t need reasons, irreconcilable differences and done .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kids? Just leave dude. Ef that

This. a long drawn out court battle will only make the attorneys rich. OP, you're part of the problem staying with no kids just so you can call the police and keep escalating the situation. Stop being a drama queen and just leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. Often an abuser provokes and psychologically nitpicks and invited and then records the outcome. The non-liar, honest one has no evidence of what the household was really like because they are t recording and gaslighting and hiding everything.

I’d be wary of stored video/recordings.

*invokes

Friend’s husband had a multi-year affair. Exposed her to STIs. Wanted to reconcile. I’m arguments friend would ask spouse to go away and spouse would keep pushing and pushing and getting in face. So threw something to get him to leave—not even directly towards them but it bounced hit and left a mark. Cheater took all kinds of photos and threaten to use it as evidence they were “abused”. Cheaters and liars are the worst.