How far would you go to accommodate a vegan / last minute guest?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope he skips your dinner. You’re not very nice.

It’s also not very nice to invite someone with such limiting food restrictions last-minute, with no offer of “and we’ll bring plenty of our own food so as to not be any trouble.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

NP. The grocery store was a nightmare when I went yesterday. Line stretched all the way back through the produce section. This is not a 20-minute errand, and it’s extremely rude to spring something like this on your host at the last minute.

I also was at the grocery store yesterday. And I’m hosting myself. If my sibling was bringing someone and my going to the grocery store could make us all have a much better day, I would do it. And it’s not a long errand. It’s the mental load that is weighing everyone down. This is a really easy fix. Most of that food will be happening passively while other things are cooking. It’s a choice to not accommodate more than a hardship. And if there’s more than one adult in the home this is something that can be delegated.

If you, as the host, are happy to go to the store for these things then obviously that’s fine.

As a guest, requesting that your host go to the store at the last minute and create additional special dishes for you, is pretty rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

Not in my world. I’m fully stocked, my menu was planned, and if you want to bring someone with restrictions last-minute, you’re welcome to come over, but I’m not going to the store again and I’m not bending over backwards. My meals always have several vegetable dishes, and my guests are welcome to open the pantry or fridge if they want something beyond what I put on the table, or bring their own food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

NP. The grocery store was a nightmare when I went yesterday. Line stretched all the way back through the produce section. This is not a 20-minute errand, and it’s extremely rude to spring something like this on your host at the last minute.

I also was at the grocery store yesterday. And I’m hosting myself. If my sibling was bringing someone and my going to the grocery store could make us all have a much better day, I would do it. And it’s not a long errand. It’s the mental load that is weighing everyone down. This is a really easy fix. Most of that food will be happening passively while other things are cooking. It’s a choice to not accommodate more than a hardship. And if there’s more than one adult in the home this is something that can be delegated.

I was in Wegmans at 8 a.m. today, and it was already hell. It’s a HELL NO on me going to the grocery store again until Dec. 27 at the earliest.

[Anonymous]

OP, as you admit, you just don’t like this girl. It isn’t difficult to throw together (or even just order) a couple of plain veggie sides. Give me a break.

I care about my brother and wouldn’t want to make him (or guests) uncomfortable over such a simple request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as you admit, you just don’t like this girl. It isn’t difficult to throw together (or even just order) a couple of plain veggie sides. Give me a break.

I care about my brother and wouldn’t want to make him (or guests) uncomfortable over such a simple request.

Crux of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as you admit, you just don’t like this girl. It isn’t difficult to throw together (or even just order) a couple of plain veggie sides. Give me a break.

I care about my brother and wouldn’t want to make him (or guests) uncomfortable over such a simple request.

Eh, I don’t go out of my way to accommodate dramatic vegans and their last-minute requests either, especially if I don’t like them to begin with. Team OP.

[Anonymous]

“Here’s my menu; I’m going to omit butter/cream from some of the mashed potatoes, and there’s a green salad and plain green beans. You’re welcome to bring anything else you like, or make anything else from what’s in the fridge or the pantry.”

[Anonymous]

I mean you could always feed her bird food on the porch.

[Anonymous]

Vegans choose to make their life complicated, dramatic and miserable. That’s not how I roll. Vegetarians—I got you. Vegans, whatever. I’ll tell you my menu and you can bring your own food if you don’t like it. I always have plenty of vegetable side dishes, but if it doesn’t fill you up, oh well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vegans choose to make their life complicated, dramatic and miserable. That’s not how I roll. Vegetarians—I got you. Vegans, whatever. I’ll tell you my menu and you can bring your own food if you don’t like it. I always have plenty of vegetable side dishes, but if it doesn’t fill you up, oh well.

All OP's brother asked is for her to have vegetable side dishes. He didn't ask her to make a different entree or go to the store. OP had a tantrum at being asked to leave the butter off some of the green beans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

I hate it went people expect you to subsitute "not bad" for your holiday meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

NP. The grocery store was a nightmare when I went yesterday. Line stretched all the way back through the produce section. This is not a 20-minute errand, and it’s extremely rude to spring something like this on your host at the last minute.

I also was at the grocery store yesterday. And I’m hosting myself. If my sibling was bringing someone and my going to the grocery store could make us all have a much better day, I would do it. And it’s not a long errand. It’s the mental load that is weighing everyone down. This is a really easy fix. Most of that food will be happening passively while other things are cooking. It’s a choice to not accommodate more than a hardship. And if there’s more than one adult in the home this is something that can be delegated.

If you, as the host, are happy to go to the store for these things then obviously that’s fine.

As a guest, requesting that your host go to the store at the last minute and create additional special dishes for you, is pretty rude.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother just told me he is bringing his gf for the weekend to spend Christmas with us. He also mentioned she is now vegan and if I would make some sides for her. My family and I are very health conscience and exercise daily but on holidays we will indulge and are meat eaters. Christmas eve dinner we are having steak and xmas dinner we are having ham & turkey. This whole thing has rubbed me the wrong way. I am so busy I don't have time to educate myself on vegan dishes. Even writing this post I am doing it waiting for my curbside pick up. He sent me a "small" list of items she cannot have. No meat, dairy, eggs, honey, seafood blaw blaw blaw. I responded I did not have time to cater to her food preferences and if I make them there is a 100% chance there will be cross contamination with the "bad" food. I advised him to go to moms and use her kitchen and to get to cooking and he could bring the side dishes they prepared themselves. He went on a rant about how I don't like her (I don't - whole other story) and that if it were someone else I would take the time to make the side dishes. I assured him I would not. I also reminded him if his gf caused any drama it would not be well received and would have to leave if she did. I told him I loved him and hung up. I feel a tiny twinge that I might have been a jerk. I also feel like they are being very very inconsiderate. Any advice? Am I the worst host by telling them to cook their own food?

When someone uses the phrase “foods she cannot have,” they’d better mean for medical reasons. That’s not the case here. Yes, tell her she’s on her own. Or make it your brothers problem. He’ll soon see what a PITA people like this are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as you admit, you just don’t like this girl. It isn’t difficult to throw together (or even just order) a couple of plain veggie sides. Give me a break.

I care about my brother and wouldn’t want to make him (or guests) uncomfortable over such a simple request.

+1. OP wants an excuse to be rude to someone they dislike. If you're going to host, show actual hospitality and accommodate the people who are coming. We're big meat eaters at holidays, but we've had vegans over and it's very easy to do SOMETHING to show them they're welcome.