Are you afraid to mention a Black person’s tan?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Not wanting someone to comment on our skin color does not make us unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom, white (olive toned), married to a black man (very dark tone, from Sudan). We have 3 beautiful children.
I have always tried to protect my skin from the sun to prevent the kinds of skin damage my mom has on her chest due to being a sun goddess in the great old 60s when apparently white people would slather on oil to get burnt.
Anyway, I think it's funny that my husband only found out about sunburn through me. Last year while on vacation on the beach I encouraged him to find some shade or cover up. He continued enjoying playing in the sand with our kids (who wore sun protective clothing/sunscreen). Later that evening he was concerned about sore areas on his body where skin was peeling.
"That's sunburn, sweetheart!!! I told you to watch out, you can get sunburned too!"
Ok I'm talking more about burns not tan - but one gripe I've had is finding sunblock for kids or any darker skin that doesn't make one pasty white. I try to buy ones for my daughter that are a little tinted like bronzer or even with shimmer in it. The pasty white stuff might be ok for white folks! Thankfully I see there are some new brands of sunscreen geared towards POC, I'll probably end up trying them this summer for my family. Hate using the pasty stuff that makes them look like Casper the ghost!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like commenting on black people's skin tone is one of those things I am willing to give up to avoid the possibility of being an asshole. Costs/benefits.

You need more black friends. You might discover that they're more reasonable than you think.

👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

Not wanting someone to comment on our skin color does not make us unreasonable.

We are definitely all individual, aren’t we?

I mean, I don’t get offended if we’re friendly and you don’t mention my quite obvious post-vacation tan. But, I do think you are being unnecessarily cautious around me. And, yeah, I wish you didn’t feel the need to be that way.

That’s said, I do understand why some white people would hesitate to say something.

[OP]

[Anonymous]

^^ oh, and to answer the original question, yes I can notice when black people get a tan, and would only comment on it as appropriate- same as for anyone. Some people may want to flaunt their time in the sun; if I'm close to that person I may compliment them on it. If I don't have that kind of close girly relationship with them no way am I going to comment on anyone's tan/body shape/ facial hair/ etc. The two things I think I'd be pretty comfortable complementing almost anyone on, even strangers, are hair and nails. I feel like those are often things people do for others' appreciation. Like if the cashier or bank teller has glamorous nails with glitter and designs, 100% of the time she's going to know I love it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom, white (olive toned), married to a black man (very dark tone, from Sudan). We have 3 beautiful children.
I have always tried to protect my skin from the sun to prevent the kinds of skin damage my mom has on her chest due to being a sun goddess in the great old 60s when apparently white people would slather on oil to get burnt.
Anyway, I think it's funny that my husband only found out about sunburn through me. Last year while on vacation on the beach I encouraged him to find some shade or cover up. He continued enjoying playing in the sand with our kids (who wore sun protective clothing/sunscreen). Later that evening he was concerned about sore areas on his body where skin was peeling.
"That's sunburn, sweetheart!!! I told you to watch out, you can get sunburned too!"
Ok I'm talking more about burns not tan - but one gripe I've had is finding sunblock for kids or any darker skin that doesn't make one pasty white. I try to buy ones for my daughter that are a little tinted like bronzer or even with shimmer in it. The pasty white stuff might be ok for white folks! Thankfully I see there are some new brands of sunscreen geared towards POC, I'll probably end up trying them this summer for my family. Hate using the pasty stuff that makes them look like Casper the ghost!

Try Black Girl Sunscreen and Blue Lizard. Blue Lizard can leave a *slight* white cast, but not enough to make you not want to use it.

[Anonymous]

I just say you look great--where have you been?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a mom, white (olive toned), married to a black man (very dark tone, from Sudan). We have 3 beautiful children.
I have always tried to protect my skin from the sun to prevent the kinds of skin damage my mom has on her chest due to being a sun goddess in the great old 60s when apparently white people would slather on oil to get burnt.
Anyway, I think it's funny that my husband only found out about sunburn through me. Last year while on vacation on the beach I encouraged him to find some shade or cover up. He continued enjoying playing in the sand with our kids (who wore sun protective clothing/sunscreen). Later that evening he was concerned about sore areas on his body where skin was peeling.
"That's sunburn, sweetheart!!! I told you to watch out, you can get sunburned too!"
Ok I'm talking more about burns not tan - but one gripe I've had is finding sunblock for kids or any darker skin that doesn't make one pasty white. I try to buy ones for my daughter that are a little tinted like bronzer or even with shimmer in it. The pasty white stuff might be ok for white folks! Thankfully I see there are some new brands of sunscreen geared towards POC, I'll probably end up trying them this summer for my family. Hate using the pasty stuff that makes them look like Casper the ghost!

Try Black Girl Sunscreen and Blue Lizard. Blue Lizard can leave a *slight* white cast, but not enough to make you not want to use it.

Thanks! Black Girl Sunscreen is what I saw advertised and at Target. When I have to replenish my supply this spring I'm definitely going to try that!! I hadn't heard of the other one.

It's these kinds of things white people (and I'm white) just don't consider. Sometimes it's hilarious. At a work- family picnic this summer a colleague said she brought sunscreen for everyone, and her 3 year old boy (very pale) had it applied, then I went ahead and used some on my 2 year old boy before I realized it was one of these pure zinc ones.... I couldn't hold back my laughter because my son looked so awkward, literally like a ghost version of myself. I passed on it for my 4 year old daughter... And reminded myself I need to pack my own sunscreen next time!

[Anonymous]

I don't comment on people's appearances. I stick to "Welcome back - how was your vacation?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I’ve ever commented on anyones tan…..

Never comment on someone's tan, or weight, or or or. It's rude.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely never comment on anything about the way a black person looks or their hair. I’ve been burned so so many times and im a really nice person. Things like that I like their hair (new hairstyle) and I get nasty comments. I don’t get this from any other race/ethnicity. I don’t even get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely never comment on anything about the way a black person looks or their hair. I’ve been burned so so many times and im a really nice person. Things like that I like their hair (new hairstyle) and I get nasty comments. I don’t get this from any other race/ethnicity. I don’t even get it.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s every Black person that’s the problem….and not you.

🙄🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely never comment on anything about the way a black person looks or their hair. I’ve been burned so so many times and im a really nice person. Things like that I like their hair (new hairstyle) and I get nasty comments. I don’t get this from any other race/ethnicity. I don’t even get it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I absolutely never comment on anything about the way a black person looks or their hair. I’ve been burned so so many times and im a really nice person. Things like that I like their hair (new hairstyle) and I get nasty comments. I don’t get this from any other race/ethnicity. I don’t even get it.

Yeah, I’m sure it’s every Black person that’s the problem….and not you.

🙄🙄

Not every black person. Lol. Just the few I commented on. But yeah I’m sure it’s me. Frankly I think black women are too touchy about their looks. I completely agree when the comment on my ashy legs or wrinkles (my coworkers make fun of how white women wrinkle). I’ve learned just never to say anything back.

[Anonymous]

I’m afraid to say anything about anything.