Three kids "dating" at once?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are both gender and sex-questioning right now and we get a ton of backtalk if we don't use the new name and pronoun they prefer. They like to use it at strategic moments. I'm not transphobic, I just want you to unload the dishes and do your homework!

Actually, if you are not using the pronouns and new names they prefer, you are being very transphobic and frankly, quite hateful!

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who will say that's it absolutely not ok for poly relationships to be normalized, especially in middle school? The opportunity to take advantage of more vulnerable kids is enormous.

I don't have to approve. I think it's weird and very Sister Wife-y.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Long story short, the kid up the street has had a transformative pandemic. She went from she to they to he and back to they and now has a girlfriend (?) that also identifies as a they and have pulled a girl who identifies as a "he" into the mix. I learned all this when she was getting me caught up at a Halloween Bonfire and other than "Oh. Hmm. That's nice. Well, I'd like to meet them sometime. Uh, say hello to your brother for me" I had no idea what to say because I didn't understand what I was hearing.

Is group dating a thing now? I'm starting to feel old and confused!

This may be what the kid was hoping for you to feel. My first thought when reading your post was, "Why was neighborhood kid sharing all this information about their romantic life with some adult who lives 'up the street'?"

Are your families otherwise close? If not, this sounds like oversharing by a kid who either has issues with healthy boundaries or a desire to push adults' buttons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who will say that's it absolutely not ok for poly relationships to be normalized, especially in middle school? The opportunity to take advantage of more vulnerable kids is enormous.

I don't have to approve. I think it's weird and very Sister Wife-y.

Same. I don’t think kids with brains that aren’t fully formed and making sound decisions can do that. Way too complicated for a young teen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I miss the days when these kids just joined the drama club.

They still do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol they don’t even know what they are at this age. It’s all so sad.

Actually, it's positive.

Isn't it better to explore who you are at a young age vs. older?

One of my friends came from a conservative family where she was told how to dress and even simple earrings were forbidden. Now she's one of those weirdo adults with rainbow hair, tons of piercings, and a terrible fashion sense (leopard print everything!).

I was a very sheltered late bloomer, went wild in my twenties and thirties and still hadn't figured life out by 40, while my friends who'd explored more and acted out in their teens had all settled down by then with careers, marriage and children. So I would have agreed with you. Except that now we're in our fifties, and I'm contentedly middle aged while they're all buying sports cars and having affairs.

Life is long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol they don’t even know what they are at this age. It’s all so sad.

Actually, it's positive.

Isn't it better to explore who you are at a young age vs. older?

One of my friends came from a conservative family where she was told how to dress and even simple earrings were forbidden. Now she's one of those weirdo adults with rainbow hair, tons of piercings, and a terrible fashion sense (leopard print everything!).

Yes, because that is exactly what happens to every girl who doesn't get earrings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming this kid isn't yours?

I'm so glad to not have to deal with this. If I did, I would not allow any dating much less group dating. Doesn't have to do with your pronouns, but you obviously aren't mature enough to understand any of it. You can have friends and that's it.

Good luck with that, Mr. Capulet.

+1

If you forbid, they will just sneak around.

And you have no idea how old these teens are. Not allowing a 16 or 17 year old to date is weird.

I'm most definitely telling my 11 year old no.

[Anonymous]

You handled it perfectly considering this is a neighbor.

My 11 yo DD told DH and me she is a lesbian and definitely a female. She sat us down to announce this. We told her that’s fine, we support and love her and to remember at 11 she’s too young to date any person for a few years. Right now most of her friends think they are lesbians.

DH and I don’t know why they all talk about this so much at such a young age but we also feel pretty old lately.

[Anonymous]

It's a way to appear edgy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re eleven? Is it common for eleven-year-olds to have girlfriends/boyfriends these days? All the kids in my life are much younger so I don’t have a sense of what the tween norms are now.

Well, 11 is too young for a relationship, for straight, normie kids.

But since trans/non-binary etc. identify based on their gender identity, and not their sex assigned at birth, then it’s totally normal for exploration of their sexual relationships at much earlier ages. It could actually be very psychologically damaging to inhibit or criticize them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who will say that's it absolutely not ok for poly relationships to be normalized, especially in middle school? The opportunity to take advantage of more vulnerable kids is enormous.

I don't have to approve. I think it's weird and very Sister Wife-y.

Right there with you. It's actually completely inanppropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re eleven? Is it common for eleven-year-olds to have girlfriends/boyfriends these days? All the kids in my life are much younger so I don’t have a sense of what the tween norms are now.

Well, 11 is too young for a relationship, for straight, normie kids.

But since trans/non-binary etc. identify based on their gender identity, and not their sex assigned at birth, then it’s totally normal for exploration of their sexual relationships at much earlier ages. It could actually be very psychologically damaging to inhibit or criticize them.

What happens when eight year olds say they're non-binary? Is it "psychologically damaging" to tell them they're too young for sex?