What’s the most condescending work compliment you’ve received?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Aww, you’re too nice. We need to teach you to be meaner!”

omg i've gotten this too and it's so annoying. Why can't you be nice AND be good at your job? I don't have to be a mean B to get my job done.

[Anonymous]

My boss to another manager: "She's not fat, she's pregnant!" (Laughingly explaining the reason why I wouldn't be taking on a big project that needed lots of follow-up at 9 months pregnant.)

When I was in an entry-level role and we did a kudos thing at a staff retreat and someone wrote "Thanks for ordering my supplies!" I imagine they were trying to be nice, but it felt like such a demeaning comment that it was the only thing they could think of.

[Anonymous]

"You look nice *today*" from my bosses boss.
"Thanks"

We laughed about this for years.

[Anonymous]

My father, after reading an article, saying “wow, there are some people in [my profession] who are actually important!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boss to another manager: "She's not fat, she's pregnant!" (Laughingly explaining the reason why I wouldn't be taking on a big project that needed lots of follow-up at 9 months pregnant.)

When I was in an entry-level role and we did a kudos thing at a staff retreat and someone wrote "Thanks for ordering my supplies!" I imagine they were trying to be nice, but it felt like such a demeaning comment that it was the only thing they could think of.

NP - I had my boss ask me "why are you so fat all the sudden?" I responded "I'm pregnant". I'm a mid-level professional at a company whose logo you see everyday all over the world. What is wrong with these men and the businesses that keep them.

[Anonymous]

I got the "fat" comment too and I wasn't pregnant! I left

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“You’re so articulate” as if they were surprised I’m not a total idiot

Are you a PoC? I'm white, and not college educated and someone said that to me upon finding out my lack of education. I was like, "yeah, I read a lot."

[Anonymous]

I got from a very qualified Asian women who work for me on her goal setting review on her future career plans.

Her plans is since I seem to be very lucky in getting good jobs just following me around company to company.

I am lucky.

[Anonymous]

I didn't know articulate was a jab except in the instance of white worker towards black coworker in condescending tone. I guess it goes across the board and I won't use it. I had used it as a compliment because I admire it. I am not articulate and it is very frustrating to me so I notice when others are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't know YOU were an attorney! You're so friendly...

This one isn’t wrong.

- another friendly attorney that feels like a push over for being nice (I’m not a pushover at all, just not mean and biting.)

[Anonymous]

Upon being introduced before a meeting,

“This is Christina, she reads a lot, which is what puts all these ideas in her head.”

Implying that my ideas were over the top and nonsensical. She argued against each statement I made during the meeting.

[Anonymous]

"You are smarter than you look."

[Anonymous]

"Is this your "niece" ?" -to my boss and mentor, who was about 40 years older and had taken me to a really exclusive social event that was work-related. I was 25 and dumbstruck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Lady doctor"
"Lady engineers"

"You ladies"

At this point people who say these things are joking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Has anyone ever given you a pearl necklace? You're cute and I'd give you a pearl necklace." I was 18 and assisting an investment broker at a new defunct brokerage firm. Used to have a bull as its logo.

Horrendous. HR would hear from me. Gross.