Why are women so mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s because women don’t have as much power as men do, and a lot of the power they do have comes from the men in their lives, particularly the men that raise them and the men that they marry. You can say it ain’t so, and it may be changing, but right now, it’s still a fact.

And so this means that:

1) Women are generally more amiable, get along better with people, and place more value on friendships than men do. When you have less power, friendships are more important. (I suppose that I am mostly talking about white men here...men who are in minority groups place more value on relationships). IRL, engendering friendships might look like bringing food over when someone has a new baby or stopping to say hello. On a message board, it looks more like joining the pile up on a poster or strongly identifying with one group vs another (redshirting vs not or preschool vs daycare).

2) Women start competing with each other for the attention of men from a pretty young age. Maybe 12 or 13. If a woman (or girl) is desired by a powerful or popular man, then she becomes the most powerful person in her social group. (See every movie made about high school with a female protagonist.) I think this leads to some of the “backstabbing” kind of behavior and just general nastiness of girls beginning at about that age.

And they all want to f@@k her husband or boyfriend out of some sick jealousy thing. To put in her place, boost their shitty low self esteem by thinking the guy wants something more than just the easy lay they are offering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Example?

Jesus Christ read a post or two from this forum.

It literally took you 1 post to be rude and mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Example?

Jesus Christ read a post or two from this forum.

And here’s a good example!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. They do it in real life. Back stabbing and screwing other women’s husbands. Not giving two sh@ts about it.

I lost all faith in fellow women when I found out some married woman who knew of me and my kids was banging my husband. She was married with kids too and they didn’t know each other prior/IRL.

She was pure evil when I spoke to her. We claim to be a better gender. We claim to support one another. We claim to be different and better than men.

Not the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Example?

Here's one.

Vacation neighborhood is relatively new. On my street two women are fighting they are in their 70's. One decided to have a block party and refuses to invite the others. This is being held outside on the street for goodness sake. They are literally fighting over nothing. Mean girls to the max UGH....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Example?

Here's one.

Vacation neighborhood is relatively new. On my street two women are fighting they are in their 70's. One decided to have a block party and refuses to invite the others. This is being held outside on the street for goodness sake. They are literally fighting over nothing. Mean girls to the max UGH....

This one I would say is about women who think they police other peoples lives and they feel entitled to something that isn’t theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. They do it in real life. Back stabbing and screwing other women’s husbands. Not giving two sh@ts about it.

I lost all faith in fellow women when I found out some married woman who knew of me and my kids was banging my husband. She was married with kids too and they didn’t know each other prior/IRL.

She was pure evil when I spoke to her. We claim to be a better gender. We claim to support one another. We claim to be different and better than men.

Not the case.

The most vindictive and nasty bosses I’ve had in my life have been women. We will never break the glass ceiling when we step in each other’s heads. Yes- I’m amazed at women that band other women’s husbands that claim to be so feminist and pro-women/sisterhood.

What a bunch of phonies.

[Anonymous]

Because men are idiots and women are evil. This has never been disproven.

[Anonymous]

I don't think women are meaner than men. I think men are given much more latitude for behavior and are given passes for behavior that women aren't.

For instance, in a world where men commit a vast proportion of violent crime, it is inconceivable to me that women are the ones perceived as "mean."

[Anonymous]

Women are so mean because they bleed three to five days and don’t die.

[Anonymous]

Because it works.

Women can be very successful socially if they find ways to discredit or diminish other women around them. Women are discouraged from being direct or aggressive, so they use indirect methods like gossip, gaslighting, and exclusion, which are actually more effective because it’s harder to defend against.

Many men are misogynist but I know very few men who are actually mean to women. And they are too socially simple to understand how these indirect means of aggression work. But I know many women like this.

Even on these boards, women are mean in devious ways. Often the cruelest comments are couched as “you need help” or “wow no I have never had this problem, maybe there is something wrong with you.” Statements that are devastating but also have somewhat plausible deniability about intent (I was trying to help, I was just being honest, etc.). I think many of the women who act this way do not even understand this behavior to be mean and competitive, they’ve been so indoctrinated into it by female family members and friends.

[Anonymous]

You guys don't get around much online, it would seem, if you think the issue is women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it works.

Women can be very successful socially if they find ways to discredit or diminish other women around them. Women are discouraged from being direct or aggressive, so they use indirect methods like gossip, gaslighting, and exclusion, which are actually more effective because it’s harder to defend against.

Many men are misogynist but I know very few men who are actually mean to women. And they are too socially simple to understand how these indirect means of aggression work. But I know many women like this.

Even on these boards, women are mean in devious ways. Often the cruelest comments are couched as “you need help” or “wow no I have never had this problem, maybe there is something wrong with you.” Statements that are devastating but also have somewhat plausible deniability about intent (I was trying to help, I was just being honest, etc.). I think many of the women who act this way do not even understand this behavior to be mean and competitive, they’ve been so indoctrinated into it by female family members and friends.

You excuse a lot of terrible behavior from men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys don't get around much online, it would seem, if you think the issue is women.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Example?

Here's one.

Vacation neighborhood is relatively new. On my street two women are fighting they are in their 70's. One decided to have a block party and refuses to invite the others. This is being held outside on the street for goodness sake. They are literally fighting over nothing. Mean girls to the max UGH....

This one I would say is about women who think they police other peoples lives and they feel entitled to something that isn’t theirs.

True on so many levels - not just mean, bitter, haggard, nasty 70 year olds.

There are 30/40-somethings who can be just as mean, bitter, haggard and nasty.