Getting angry about 20 pounds

[Anonymous]

I was also so sick if spending my entire stupid life dieting. Someone on this board recommended the podcast Weight Loss for Busy Physicians and it totally freed me from that. (I’m not a physician FWIW)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was also so sick if spending my entire stupid life dieting. Someone on this board recommended the podcast Weight Loss for Busy Physicians and it totally freed me from that. (I’m not a physician FWIW)

What does it say? Be fat and happy?

[Anonymous]

OP, I do not know how old you are and what type of body you have, so take all this with a grain of salt...

But I am a 42-yo mom and also 5'4. At my highest weight (134) I felt awful - slow, tired, bloated, you name it. That said, at 123, which is what I weighed when I weaned my last baby, I was gaunt and skinny fat, but also felt awful - no strength, not enough energy, tired... I find that a very active 125-127 is perfect for *my* body. And, yes, that may not have been true before I had kids. And it's true that it is MUCH harder to get there and maintain now that I am in my 40s and peri menopause is a very real part of my life.

Here's what works for me:
1. Being active every single day. That means running 3x/week because it makes me feel great and keep the edge off my anxiety, but a good walk, or hike with my family, or yoga the other days. Just moving my body every single day.
2. Knowing what types of food and when work best for me. That means I generally have coffee plus two breakfasts before 11:00am - a green smoothie and/or whole grain toast with almond butter and/or greek yogurt with fruit and/or whole grain toast with avocado and/or a veggie omelet. This keeps me feeling satiated until lunch, and also makes me feel like I started the day right. I eat a lot before noon because it keeps me on track for the rest of the day.
For lunch, I will have a salad with lots of protein or a broth-based soup, again with lots of protein. I will add a slice of whole grain bread if I feel like it.
For dinner I eat something balanced, but basically whatever I want... I have already had such a great food day, I feel like I can eat a wide variety of foods for dinner.
If I am hungry between meals, I have a snack of a string cheese, apple, almonds, crudite, greek yogurt...
If I need something sweet, I have an iced coffee, some dark chocolate, a fudgicle...
Basically, I do not deprive myself and I eat a lot, I just try to make good decisions about what food I eat. That means very few processed carbs, limit sugar, limit alcohol. I find my body holds onto weight when I am not eating enough and when I eat too many processed carbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll go a bit against the grain here - I think you need to eat more in the morning, and make it super protein heavy to make you feel full for longer. You're sabotaging yourself by trying to starve. Try having a bowl of unsweetened greek yogurt with some berries, cottage cheese, 1 egg+2 egg whites scrambled with some veggies, or some low sugar oatmeal with high protein count (I like the Qia coconut one) within an hour or two of waking up.

Keep protein dense snacks on hand for the afternoon slump, and get outside or moving mid-afternoon to give yourself a boost. Protein shakes, hard boiled eggs, veggies, protein bars (but watch the calories). I buy veggie platters at the grocery store and keep them on hand for snacking with hummus and greek yogurt-based tzatziki for dipping, but you could do it for cheaper if you're willing to chop and prep the veggies yourself.

You can do it, OP!

I don’t agree about eating breakfast. OP, if you can naturally go until noon or early afternoon with no more than a couple cups of coffee for breakfast, then I would focus on having grab and go or easy prep high protein and high fiber low carb. I do tuna sandwich on low carb high fiber bread. Celery with dip. Protein shake. Cinnamon gum. Protein bar. hi protein no sugar yogurt with berries. Any of those work to stop my cravings. Then I do. Normal dinner, also low very lo Carb. For me, anything more than small amounts of carbs from high fiber vegetables just continues the cravings.

[Anonymous]

Don't eat less OP, eat smarter! Noom really helped me with caloric density: think about grapes vs. raisins. A half cup of raisins has 250 calories while a half cup of grapes has 30. So you could eat 1/2 cup of raisins or 4 cups of grapes. You could eat like 6 triscuits or a string cheese and and a 1/2 cup of grapes. That doesn't mean you can never eat raisins or Triscuits, you just have to be really smart about it. And as for exercise, for me what works is moving throughout the day, not just all at once in a workout.

[Anonymous]

All these PPs talking about eating less are pushing some dangerous restriction thinking. The immediate PP talking about Noom has some great points.

See this recent and really compelling article:
https://www.statnews.com/2021/09/13/how-a-fatally-tragically-flawed-paradigm-has-derailed-the-science-of-obesity/

[Anonymous]

OP, how old are you? Bodies change with time and with life events. That doesn't mean throw in the towel and give up on any attempt at health, but if it's that preoccupying to you, you've got to try something else. I still think adding in exercise (especially strength training) is a game-changer, for health if not specifically for weight loss.

How much time and energy do you want to spend worrying about your weight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What works well for me is 3 good meals a day. They can be a pretty good range of anything I want (not 6 pizzas of course but not a salad with grilled chicken no dressing either) but absolutely nothing till the next meal. I aim for 5+ hours between meals. There is tons of differing nutrition info out there but I reads something about insulin response and meal spacing that made sense to me. I like being able to eat good meals with my family and not restrict. No rice for Mommy. No ice cream for Mommy.

OP here: I’m really aiming for this! I want to eat three normal meals per day, no snacks, just like my grandparents and great-grandparents did before me. Regular food, no dieting. I feel like a decade of dieting has really messed my mind up, to where the food focus and body chatter is never-ending. I’ve noticed my grandparents have a really normal view of food and accurate hunger signals, and I’m trying to get back to that. Eating when I’m hungry and stopping at satiety like a normal human being, not a piece of toast in the morning with the constant “am I full? maybe I’m full. was that too much?” and then six cookies when I give up at 4 pm. Just be normal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you? Bodies change with time and with life events. That doesn't mean throw in the towel and give up on any attempt at health, but if it's that preoccupying to you, you've got to try something else. I still think adding in exercise (especially strength training) is a game-changer, for health if not specifically for weight loss.

How much time and energy do you want to spend worrying about your weight?

I’m 34. I don’t want to worry about my weight at all. But at this weight I do. It bothers me, I don’t feel like myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you? Bodies change with time and with life events. That doesn't mean throw in the towel and give up on any attempt at health, but if it's that preoccupying to you, you've got to try something else. I still think adding in exercise (especially strength training) is a game-changer, for health if not specifically for weight loss.

How much time and energy do you want to spend worrying about your weight?

I’m 34. I don’t want to worry about my weight at all. But at this weight I do. It bothers me, I don’t feel like myself.

Plenty of time. 42 female and lost weight this spring/summer by 10K steps daily (walking or running) and eating better (5'6, 118 pounds). You got this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

What do you eat in the morning?
First morning meal actually start your day, and your insulin/blood sugar cycle, and it make it almost impossible to resist that chocolate chip after dinner.
So, eat good filling breakfast - eggs, veggies, some oatmeal. Just make sure it's all savory with no added sugar.
And if you hungry couple of hours later - eat, but pick something like full-fat plain Greek yogurt with and serving of berries or cherry tomatoes/cucumber/celery sticks.

Toast with turkey and cheese, or oatmeal and almond butter, or a 1/2 bagel with ham and egg. It’s pretty healthy, I’m just…hungry. :/

add some protein to the oatmeal, like nuts or peanut butter powder. and if you want to jazz it up some berries and cocoa powder. greek yogurt is a great, filling snack as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

You need to change your strategy. You aren't grossly overweight, and your body needs fuel. Eat protein and whole grains. Snack on fresh fruit and vegetables. Drink a ton of water. But you see dieting as pure denial, and you're constantly fighting your biology. Work with it. If you're hungry an hour later, you need to change breakfast. Add some eggs or full-fat yogurt or a big bowl of oatmeal or something that keeps you satiated longer. Build in snacks with protein and/or lots of fiber. Stop trying the same thing over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What works well for me is 3 good meals a day. They can be a pretty good range of anything I want (not 6 pizzas of course but not a salad with grilled chicken no dressing either) but absolutely nothing till the next meal. I aim for 5+ hours between meals. There is tons of differing nutrition info out there but I reads something about insulin response and meal spacing that made sense to me. I like being able to eat good meals with my family and not restrict. No rice for Mommy. No ice cream for Mommy.

OP here: I’m really aiming for this! I want to eat three normal meals per day, no snacks, just like my grandparents and great-grandparents did before me. Regular food, no dieting. I feel like a decade of dieting has really messed my mind up, to where the food focus and body chatter is never-ending. I’ve noticed my grandparents have a really normal view of food and accurate hunger signals, and I’m trying to get back to that. Eating when I’m hungry and stopping at satiety like a normal human being, not a piece of toast in the morning with the constant “am I full? maybe I’m full. was that too much?” and then six cookies when I give up at 4 pm. Just be normal!

So do that. Stop dieting for a while. Just eat three meals a day. Drink lots of water. Include plenty of fruits and vegetables. Make sure there is some protein, fiber, and healthy fats, all of which will keep you satisfied longer. Don't have third and big desserts or anything, but stop restricting your food and get yourself on a three-meals-a-day routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you? Bodies change with time and with life events. That doesn't mean throw in the towel and give up on any attempt at health, but if it's that preoccupying to you, you've got to try something else. I still think adding in exercise (especially strength training) is a game-changer, for health if not specifically for weight loss.

How much time and energy do you want to spend worrying about your weight?

I’m 34. I don’t want to worry about my weight at all. But at this weight I do. It bothers me, I don’t feel like myself.

You need to take an approach that's more comprehensive than "eat less," which we *know* doesn't work over the long-term.

-Exercise, be active, move your body
-Focus on nutrition: protein, fiber, fruits and veggies, water, what you can have more of rather than what you can't have
-Attend to sleep and stress-reduction
-Some kind of therapy to accept yourself as you are regardless of your weight. I'm not being flip about that: you're only 34. You do NOT want to spend years of your life preoccupied by this stuff.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you? Bodies change with time and with life events. That doesn't mean throw in the towel and give up on any attempt at health, but if it's that preoccupying to you, you've got to try something else. I still think adding in exercise (especially strength training) is a game-changer, for health if not specifically for weight loss.

How much time and energy do you want to spend worrying about your weight?

I’m 34. I don’t want to worry about my weight at all. But at this weight I do. It bothers me, I don’t feel like myself.

You need to take an approach that's more comprehensive than "eat less," which we *know* doesn't work over the long-term.

-Exercise, be active, move your body
-Focus on nutrition: protein, fiber, fruits and veggies, water, what you can have more of rather than what you can't have
-Attend to sleep and stress-reduction
-Some kind of therapy to accept yourself as you are regardless of your weight. I'm not being flip about that: you're only 34. You do NOT want to spend years of your life preoccupied by this stuff.

Good luck.

NP - second others in changing your mindset about food. Look at food as fuel and nourishment for your body and make better choices. Ask what's going to provide the best nourishment for your body, not necessarily what tastes the best. But with the right choices, ideally you can find a balance of both that is sustainable long term.