tween’s friends from carpool texting me.. tell parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are crazy. What’s wrong with being part of this kid’s village? Kids today text - they don’t drop by the house and sit at your kitchen table anymore. As long as your conversations are things you’d share publicly then why wouldn’t you reply to these things? Kids need multiple people invested in them. They see you as a good and safe person. Be that person. All you other posters are so afraid you are making the world so small for your kids.

I don't have kids in OP's demographic so I don't have advice. So while I understand some of the fears expressed, this PP right here really hits me in the feels. I think helicopter parenting has helped kill the village. It's not the only cause but it's part of it.

Thinking other carpool moms would enjoy/should indulge texting inanities with a tween is the apotheosis of helicopter parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are crazy. What’s wrong with being part of this kid’s village? Kids today text - they don’t drop by the house and sit at your kitchen table anymore. As long as your conversations are things you’d share publicly then why wouldn’t you reply to these things? Kids need multiple people invested in them. They see you as a good and safe person. Be that person. All you other posters are so afraid you are making the world so small for your kids.

When people scream they need a village, usually those are the checked out parents who don't want to deal with their kids. I find it odd kids contact adults/parents of friends. We have that happen a lot, especially during covid when the kids just needed someone to talk to. Honestly, its frustrating to get calls all day when you are trying to work and get stuff done. I'm tired of parenting other people's kids when they will do nothing for mine. I will never ever carpool again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, create a carpool text group. Include all kids and parents. Only communicate with the kids on this thread, as a group, including all parents. Block the kids on any other text threads.

OP again, thank you for this! This is brilliant!

Yes, absolutely this. If any parents are annoyed by it, they can leave the chat. Not your fault.

[Anonymous]

OP your situation is odd. MULTIPLE children in your carpool text you? Just to chat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are crazy. What’s wrong with being part of this kid’s village? Kids today text - they don’t drop by the house and sit at your kitchen table anymore. As long as your conversations are things you’d share publicly then why wouldn’t you reply to these things? Kids need multiple people invested in them. They see you as a good and safe person. Be that person. All you other posters are so afraid you are making the world so small for your kids.

I don't have kids in OP's demographic so I don't have advice. So while I understand some of the fears expressed, this PP right here really hits me in the feels. I think helicopter parenting has helped kill the village. It's not the only cause but it's part of it.

That’s an interesting take. I would have thought that helicopter parenting is a response to the demise of our villages; that it’s parents trying to replace the missing villagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son texts my best friend. Why is this weird?

Op isn’t a family friend who the kid has a years long close with relationship. It’s normal to text aunts and uncles, dear family friends you know well. This is weird and irritating though.

She sees him every day. She drives him in a car pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are crazy. What’s wrong with being part of this kid’s village? Kids today text - they don’t drop by the house and sit at your kitchen table anymore. As long as your conversations are things you’d share publicly then why wouldn’t you reply to these things? Kids need multiple people invested in them. They see you as a good and safe person. Be that person. All you other posters are so afraid you are making the world so small for your kids.

I don't have kids in OP's demographic so I don't have advice. So while I understand some of the fears expressed, this PP right here really hits me in the feels. I think helicopter parenting has helped kill the village. It's not the only cause but it's part of it.

That’s an interesting take. I would have thought that helicopter parenting is a response to the demise of our villages; that it’s parents trying to replace the missing villagers.

Huh? Parents should be parenting and there is no need for kids to go outside of their family for parenting attention. There has never been a village. There are active responsible parents who then feel sorry for kids whose parents don't care and end up parenting them as well. A village would be mutual. Usually its very one sided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are crazy. What’s wrong with being part of this kid’s village? Kids today text - they don’t drop by the house and sit at your kitchen table anymore. As long as your conversations are things you’d share publicly then why wouldn’t you reply to these things? Kids need multiple people invested in them. They see you as a good and safe person. Be that person. All you other posters are so afraid you are making the world so small for your kids.

When people scream they need a village, usually those are the checked out parents who don't want to deal with their kids. I find it odd kids contact adults/parents of friends. We have that happen a lot, especially during covid when the kids just needed someone to talk to. Honestly, its frustrating to get calls all day when you are trying to work and get stuff done. I'm tired of parenting other people's kids when they will do nothing for mine. I will never ever carpool again.

Oh FFS!

[Anonymous]

Well, don't ask a question back!

and I wouldn't respond to texts that are so trivial, or at least not right away. Yeah, I think, tell the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your situation is odd. MULTIPLE children in your carpool text you? Just to chat?

Yeah it's weird. I will say this and I don't mean to be hurtful OP, but my dons friends sometimes text each others moms as a joke. I don't get it but it's a thing.
Just ignore them and stop giving teens your number.
They should go through your teen if they need to ask for carpool stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son texts my best friend. Why is this weird?

Op isn’t a family friend who the kid has a years long close with relationship. It’s normal to text aunts and uncles, dear family friends you know well. This is weird and irritating though.

She sees him every day. She drives him in a car pool.

I know how carpools work. I think it’s weird and not a single child I know would do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y’all are crazy. What’s wrong with being part of this kid’s village? Kids today text - they don’t drop by the house and sit at your kitchen table anymore. As long as your conversations are things you’d share publicly then why wouldn’t you reply to these things? Kids need multiple people invested in them. They see you as a good and safe person. Be that person. All you other posters are so afraid you are making the world so small for your kids.

I don't have kids in OP's demographic so I don't have advice. So while I understand some of the fears expressed, this PP right here really hits me in the feels. I think helicopter parenting has helped kill the village. It's not the only cause but it's part of it.

That’s an interesting take. I would have thought that helicopter parenting is a response to the demise of our villages; that it’s parents trying to replace the missing villagers.

Huh? Parents should be parenting and there is no need for kids to go outside of their family for parenting attention. There has never been a village. There are active responsible parents who then feel sorry for kids whose parents don't care and end up parenting them as well. A village would be mutual. Usually its very one sided.

Yes, villages are mutual. We buried my father this summer, and among the mourners at his funeral were a neighbor friend who referred to my dad as his second father; the neighbor lady whose house I used to go before the school bus arrived if my mother had an early morning doctor appointment, the parents of a boy my mom used to babysit, my former high school teacher (whose children I used to babysit), etc. My childhood bff’s parents brought us a meal. I could go on and on. My own children have not been babysat by neighbors and I don’t expect any of their teachers to attend my funeral in a few decades. I grew up in a small town that didn’t have a transient population and I had a village. My kids are growing up in a DC suburb, and although we have very nice neighbors, I wouldn’t say we have a village.

[Anonymous]

You people are weird. Kids should learn to speak to adults who aren't their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your situation is odd. MULTIPLE children in your carpool text you? Just to chat?

I read it that way too. I wonder if the kids are teasing OP.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP: My child gave my number to a girl at camp and she texts me all the time. Her parents know she's texting me to having phone dates with my kid. They never gave me their number. So there's that. I've faced time with her before handing the phone to my child and the I hear the parents, but haven't seen them.