s/o of "Fat Girl at the Gym"

[Anonymous]

I just began a new job and my boss told me he will put $100 a month towards any gym membership. I am grateful, but ... REALLY fat. I was out of work a long, long time, and while I've been overweight my whole life, during the out-of-work period basically sat on my couch and ate all day. I'm 250 now. So while I'm very grateful to my boss for this offer of gym membership, I am also a little overwhelmed. Right now I walk about a mile per day.

I found a gym that looks good, that I think I'd like to join, but can not imagine what I would possibly do when I walk in. I am guessing I should wait to join the gym until my health insurance kicks in, in case I injure myself. But after that ... how do I even BECOME the "fat girl at the gym"? Do I need to hire a trainer? Once? A bunch of times in a row? Once a month? Are they going to be like The Biggest Loser and scream at me in front of everyone until I throw up?

I know that if I'm working out, my mindset will switch to eating more healthily (because of not wanting to derail all my hard work with So. Many. Carbs). I am just overwhelmed at walking into a gym. Do I go stand on a treadmill sandwiched between two people will good bodies? A friend of mine suggested I work out with a kettle ball. Does that sound like a good idea? Can somebody please arrange to clear the gym so nobody is there to stare at all my parts jiggling? Also, is there privacy to take showers? Or, can I just go home and shower at home instead, in the privacy of my own bathroom?

Please hold my hand and tell me how to do this.

[Anonymous]

Awesome!

1) You are going to go for a tour of the gym you think you'd like to go to. You'll assess the vibe, check the shower situation, find out the pricing on personal trainers.

2) You are going to get some black exercise clothes that provide good coverage but aren't tent like.

3) You'll walk in with your head held high and will not make self deprecating comments or try and explain your weight to anyone. No one cares and as you saw on the other thread, it's inspiring to see people working out at any weight. We all have our battles.

4) You can walk on the treadmill at first. No matter what you do, GO to the gym. Even if you just wimp out and stretch, it's better than not going.

5) What do you want in a trainer? If you want someone to scream "RUN YOU F-ING FATTY!" ask for that, if you want someone to be sweet and calm, ask for that, etc. When you join, ask for at least 2 complimentary training sessions and describe what kind of trainer you'd like. If you can afford private training, 1x/wk or month, it's TOTALLY worth it.

6) Ask about classes for the elderly. It might be embarrassing if you are 30 to be in class with grannys but at this point you need to drop some poundage and build strength to protect your joints. Soon enough you'll be jumping around in tabata classes, but don't start there.

7) cut starchy carbs--it's spring. eat fruit, so yummy!

8) Again, everyone has their battles. It sucks that one of yours is "public" in terms of your weight, but don't waste your time looking around at the bodies of others. Look at yours and be excited about getting stronger, healthier, and potentially lighter.

9) Bring your own XL beach towel. Gym towels are tiny and you won't want to emerge from the shower with one butt cheek exposed. (But many nicer gyms have a private changing areas attached to the private showers. I haven't seen a gym with public showers for ever--again, see that on the tour.)

Be confident. You are a person, not a number on the scale. You have as much right and reason to exercise as a professional aerobics teacher!

[Anonymous]

One more thing, schedule your gym time--i.e. Mondays on the way to work, treadmill, shower and go to work. Tuesdays at lunch, gentle pilates (you won't have to shower after). Wednesdays off. Thursdays on the way to work. Fridays at lunch. Saturday morning gentle class. Sunday off...

Not, Mmm I'll go at some point today...

[Anonymous]

1) Work outs: I think it's worth it for you to hire a trainer. They can show you how to use the equipment and plan some workouts for you.

I would not start with a kettle ball or any other kind of free weights. I would start with training to walk a 5k. There are lots of training plans for couch to 5k walkers. This is one: http://walking.about.com/od/beginners/a/5ktraining.htm

After you've gotten into the walking program for about a month, I'd add some strength exercise. Pilates or a beginning yoga class would be good. Nautilus weights would also be good. A trainer can show you how to use the equipment and make suggestions.

After you've developed some basic fitness, you can try classes -- zumba, spinning, martial arts, more advanced yoga, whatever makes you happy. Try stuff until you find something you like.

2) Clothes: black running pants or yoga pants and a tshirt will be just fine. Nobody is going to pay that much attention to you. They're lost in their own heads and trying to get through their own workouts.

3) Your goal should be 150 minutes of aerobic, weight bearing exercise per week. This is the standard for preventing diabetes.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has gone to the gym 5 days a week for yrs and yrs I have 2 pieces of advice.

1. Don't worry about how you look. Everyone looks like crap at the gym but no one notices bc they are only worried about themselves. Seriously even when I smile and nod at ppl it's just me being polite I am never mentally judging them or evaluating them.

2. You may not want to go to the gym...like ever. I would say I only want to go about 20 percent of the time. The other 80 I truly have to make myself. It's just a non negotiable and I treat it as such. It's something that takes alot of self discipline but it does come over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Awesome!

1) You are going to go for a tour of the gym you think you'd like to go to. You'll assess the vibe, check the shower situation, find out the pricing on personal trainers.

2) You are going to get some black exercise clothes that provide good coverage but aren't tent like.

3) You'll walk in with your head held high and will not make self deprecating comments or try and explain your weight to anyone. No one cares and as you saw on the other thread, it's inspiring to see people working out at any weight. We all have our battles.

4) You can walk on the treadmill at first. No matter what you do, GO to the gym. Even if you just wimp out and stretch, it's better than not going.

5) What do you want in a trainer? If you want someone to scream "RUN YOU F-ING FATTY!" ask for that, if you want someone to be sweet and calm, ask for that, etc. When you join, ask for at least 2 complimentary training sessions and describe what kind of trainer you'd like. If you can afford private training, 1x/wk or month, it's TOTALLY worth it.

6) Ask about classes for the elderly. It might be embarrassing if you are 30 to be in class with grannys but at this point you need to drop some poundage and build strength to protect your joints. Soon enough you'll be jumping around in tabata classes, but don't start there.

7) cut starchy carbs--it's spring. eat fruit, so yummy!

8) Again, everyone has their battles. It sucks that one of yours is "public" in terms of your weight, but don't waste your time looking around at the bodies of others. Look at yours and be excited about getting stronger, healthier, and potentially lighter.

9) Bring your own XL beach towel. Gym towels are tiny and you won't want to emerge from the shower with one butt cheek exposed. (But many nicer gyms have a private changing areas attached to the private showers. I haven't seen a gym with public showers for ever--again, see that on the tour.)

Be confident. You are a person, not a number on the scale. You have as much right and reason to exercise as a professional aerobics teacher!

+1!

And this is AWESOME advice, too! Congratulations on your new job, OP.

[Anonymous]

Also: for strength training, start with the machines with pictures and stacks. And start on the low/no weight setting. When you can do three sets of 15, move up one notch. You won't feel it that day. You will feel it the next. You need: a chest press. A lat pull down. Bicep curls. The row thingy. A shoulder press. Maybe their version of the ab thing----but not for a while, those will hurt you.

The machines keep you from hurting yourself until you build up enough muscle to handle free weights. Strength training is amazing: it totally reshapes you and starts changing your body composition.

Also: the first thing you will do for abs is planks. Do NOT look down the front of you to make sure you are all nice and lined up. It is beyond depressing. Even now that I've lost weight, all my extra skin slides around and hangs down in a little pile in front.

[Anonymous]

Pick a gym that has classes, which is a good place to start. Other than that, some light walking with uphill climb is good. You can also schedule a personal training session once a month to get instructions on how to do strength training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has gone to the gym 5 days a week for yrs and yrs I have 2 pieces of advice.

1. Don't worry about how you look. Everyone looks like crap at the gym but no one notices bc they are only worried about themselves. Seriously even when I smile and nod at ppl it's just me being polite I am never mentally judging them or evaluating them.

2. You may not want to go to the gym...like ever. I would say I only want to go about 20 percent of the time. The other 80 I truly have to make myself. It's just a non negotiable and I treat it as such. It's something that takes alot of self discipline but it does come over time.

This. Believe me, if anyone at the gym looks at you and thinks anything other than "awesome! good for her, getting into shape," then that person is a class-A asshole and you shouldn't give a rat's ass what they think. I see people of all shapes and sizes at my gym and I just applaud them all (in my head) for getting out there. It's not easy but it's worth it. And shit, if you're getting $100/month then you can afford a swank gym that will make you want to go! My one piece of advice is to also start thinking about your eating habits. Be very mindful of not treating yourself to high-fat/high-calorie treats every day that you work out, thinking that you've earned it. The truth is that we rarely burn as many calories as are in a dessert or cheeseburger. So clean up your eating too, otherwise you may get discouraged if you're not seeing major changes just from going to the gym.

[Anonymous]

You can do it OP! Great advice, esp. about sticking with it even tho sometimes (most of the time?) you might not want to. Eating right is also key- eat for volume (lots of veggies, fruit) and soup as well -- people eat the same volume of food each day on average so eat fow cal-high nutrient dense foods. Congratulations! When I see heavier folks at the gym I send them loads of positive energy.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Congratulations on your job and for wanting to get healthy. If you've been sedentary for a while and have put on some weight, I would check with your doctor b/f you start working out. Take it slow and steady.

Not sure where you are, but the Y near us has an outdoor track, which may feel less intimidating than starting off the bat in the gym itself. Free weights are more effective than the machines, so I would definitely hire a trainer or take a class to show you what's what b/f jumping in.

GL

[Anonymous]

At every gym I've been to, they've offered at least one introductory session with a trainer -- often this just involves a tour of the equipment, information on using the free weights, etc. (not someone yelling at you to do more push ups, so don't worry about that!). If they don't offer, you should ask, and before hand, make a mental list of the information you need to find out, and don't be shy about asking! All sorts of people go to the gym, and everyone wants to start somewhere. If you're self-conscious about going, it's better to suck it up and get as much introductory information in a session with an employee so later you won't feel lost every time you walk through the door. In your shoes, here's what I'd ask:

- How do use the treadmill/eliptical/exercise bike. Choose a basic piece of equipment you think you'd like to use, and have the gym employee show you exactly what to do. Then for your first few visits, you can stick to that and not worry about doing anything 'wrong'.

- Are there any classes they offer that would be good for someone just starting out?

- Get a tour of the weight equipment. Even if you don't feel ready to start using it right away, you can always look online for guidance on specific exercises later when you're feeling more confident. Definitely look into online aps and programs like Couch to 5K -- they are great motivation and give you a plan for what sort of exercise you should be doing when you go to work out.

A few sessions with a trainer can be a wonderful way to kick start and exercise program. If you have the money to pay for a few, I'd really really recommend it.

For the first few weeks, I'd make a commitment to going a set number of times a week and worry more about getting yourself there than specific exercise. Even if you're doing the same stuff (elliptical for 30 minutes, or whatever) with time you'll feel more comfortable and can branch out and add more to your arsenal. And I totally second all the PPs who say to make yourself go even when it's the last thing you want to do -- once you're there, you'll feel much better, and probably get more exercise in than you initially felt up to. Last night I felt like crap all day, told myself I only had to do 10 minutes on the bike, but ended up doing 30 plus weights and felt better by the end than I had all day!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

The PP's have some great suggestions. Another one: if you can't find a gym that has locations near enough to work AND home that you will go often, see if you can find two memberships for $100/month - one near work and one near home. I did that before I had my daughter, because I liked my Golds membership near my house but they didn't have any locations near work. So I also got a membership at Washington Sports club and the total was about $100/month. Totally worth it to always have access.

and yes, you will not always feel like working out. Do it anyway. Odds are, you'll feel either better or the same afterward, and rarely worse. I never regret a workout.

[Anonymous]

Good for you! You have to start someplace! Take a whole bunch of measurements: Bust, Waist, Hips, thighs and weight. Take a picture. Store these someplace (evernote, a notbook, whatever). Only do this once a month. I found that at first, pounds would come off, but then when they didn't, inches were coming off from toning up. Also, only change one thing at a time. Add in the exercise. Then worry about the diet. Don't try to change it all at once; little changes will add up quickly. Also, weight training. -From former fat girl at the gym who just ran her second half marathon

[Anonymous]

Thank you for all the encouragement and suggestions. I had thought it would be weird to ask to see that there's privacy in the showers, so I'm really glad one of you mentioned asking to see the locker rooms on a tour.

Absolutely I want to wait until my health insurance kicks in. Thank you again. It's nice to know that Gym People aren't just looking down their noses as I waddle past them, but are rooting for me.