Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing fires up a DC working mother like a SAHM! I live in Calif and in all my years of living here...as a working woman and a SAHM...I've never heard anyone argue about this.

People are very educated and career-oriented in DC. It was very, very rare to find a working mom when I was in Phoenix or SoCal. In fact, friends that moved out there complain about the 'scene' out there. It's been incredibly depressing for them after leaving this area. The conversations and socialization is very dull.

Bless your heart. Trying to get a dig in any way you can. Luckily, the SAHMs around here are all very well-educated, so conversations are never dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Facebook. That's what they do.

Nah. FB is pretty dull. DCUM is where all the action is. After all, that's where the WOHMs hang out during the day, right?

[Anonymous]

I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a fair argument. One group has 6.5 hours of free time to chime in

And yet the other group, "hard at work," is so strongly represented here! Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing fires up a DC working mother like a SAHM! I live in Calif and in all my years of living here...as a working woman and a SAHM...I've never heard anyone argue about this.

People are very educated and career-oriented in DC. It was very, very rare to find a working mom when I was in Phoenix or SoCal. In fact, friends that moved out there complain about the 'scene' out there. It's been incredibly depressing for them after leaving this area. The conversations and socialization is very dull.

Bless your heart. Trying to get a dig in any way you can. Luckily, the SAHMs around here are all very well-educated, so conversations are never dull.

Umm...that was my point.

[Anonymous]

Let's get the name of this thread changed. Here's the new subject: SAHM with school aged kids- justify how you spend your typical day for the WOHM .

I mean seriously. Could this thread be any more off topic? Could a thread SO OFF TOPIC, with this many pages survive on any other forum? How many posts on here are actually about the typical SAHM day and actually from a real SAHM? Not very many...

My advice to the SAHM: you do not owe the working moms any explanation. You DO NOT need (and should not want) their approval. Think about the working moms that you know in real life: none of them treat you this way, do they? If they did, you'd ignore them. So ignore the WOHM on DCUM. It's inevitable that any time the letters SAHM show up anywhere on this website, the mommy war people are going to come out and beat this dead horse. Let them embarrass themselves. IGNORE IT. Do not engage them. They will eventually get bored of it and find some other issue to harass people with. Don't stoop to their level. Continue to discuss SAHM issues/topics, offer support and advice, but don't debate and discuss with these women. You're not going to change the way they think and you're not going to win. Don't waste your time with them, it's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Its not the SAHM's fault that we as a country have such pathetic maternity leaves. We lag behind nearly every developed nation in this, despite many countries have nearly as many women in the workplace as ours. We've decided that parental leave after a birth/adoption is not important enough a time to have a few months off, paid; how about paid leave for both moms and dads (or both partners)? Instead of expecting women to work 'as hard as men', why don't we expect men to be as family oriented as women? Why don't we expect each parent to take a year off with the child? Why doesn't each parent 'scale-down' and work 30 hours a week?

If you have a problem with your company's maternity leave policy, you should vote for legislators that support paid parental leave at the federal level.

I would guess most people who choose to stay at home (outside of this forum where people seem to be disproportionately high-SES0 do it because it wouldn't make sense (financially) to keep on working. When I scaled back, I went to 15-20 hrs, telework, and still made 50-60K. I could pay the sitter and have some extra for most of our basic expenses (food, utilities, etc.). I work in STEM as well. Other fields (teaching, social work, communications, public health, public policy) do not pay as well and they don't have the option to make this choice, unless their spouses make enough money on their own and they choose to work for their own happiness (a valid choice).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Yea not going to place the well-being of your career over the well -being of my children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

Totally agree. Similar situation at my previous firm. Many highly qualified and sought-after women were voluntarily leaving to care for their children, so new leave programs were put into place. It's still not perfect, but far better than it once was, when women were afraid to take time off to SAH because they knew their firm held all the cards. If women start standing up for what is right and taking the time they deserve in order to care for their children, companies will sit up and take notice. If, on the other hand, women like the PPs are towing the company line and never taking time off to SAH, then companies will expect this to remain the status quo and continue to take advantage.

While I agree that family and parental leave policies leave a great deal to be desired in this country, I'm not about to sit around waiting for them to change at my kids' expense. Those of you who want to do so, knock yourselves out. In the meantime, I'll be taking care of my own kids until I'm ready to return to work.

[Anonymous]

^^meant "toeing the line" ^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

Totally agree. Similar situation at my previous firm. Many highly qualified and sought-after women were voluntarily leaving to care for their children, so new leave programs were put into place. It's still not perfect, but far better than it once was, when women were afraid to take time off to SAH because they knew their firm held all the cards. If women start standing up for what is right and taking the time they deserve in order to care for their children, companies will sit up and take notice. If, on the other hand, women like the PPs are towing the company line and never taking time off to SAH, then companies will expect this to remain the status quo and continue to take advantage.

While I agree that family and parental leave policies leave a great deal to be desired in this country, I'm not about to sit around waiting for them to change at my kids' expense. Those of you who want to do so, knock yourselves out. In the meantime, I'll be taking care of my own kids until I'm ready to return to work.

Huh? I WAH 100%; had 6 months maternity leave and only worked 20 hours from home until my kids hit elementary school. I am now back up to full-time from home. I'm not sure how that is viewed as 'towing the line' unless you are referring to somebody else.

I am advocating for this flexibility (where applicable) for all women. My older sister got her office to let her and another mother 'job share' so they could both go part-time something their company wouldn't let anyone do prior. Her kids are in college now and she's back full-time ready hit retirement.

My company let me take an entire year off. You don't get what you don't ask for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

Totally agree. Similar situation at my previous firm. Many highly qualified and sought-after women were voluntarily leaving to care for their children, so new leave programs were put into place. It's still not perfect, but far better than it once was, when women were afraid to take time off to SAH because they knew their firm held all the cards. If women start standing up for what is right and taking the time they deserve in order to care for their children, companies will sit up and take notice. If, on the other hand, women like the PPs are towing the company line and never taking time off to SAH, then companies will expect this to remain the status quo and continue to take advantage.

While I agree that family and parental leave policies leave a great deal to be desired in this country, I'm not about to sit around waiting for them to change at my kids' expense. Those of you who want to do so, knock yourselves out. In the meantime, I'll be taking care of my own kids until I'm ready to return to work.

Huh? I WAH 100%; had 6 months maternity leave and only worked 20 hours from home until my kids hit elementary school. I am now back up to full-time from home. I'm not sure how that is viewed as 'towing the line' unless you are referring to somebody else.

I am advocating for this flexibility (where applicable) for all women. My older sister got her office to let her and another mother 'job share' so they could both go part-time something their company wouldn't let anyone do prior. Her kids are in college now and she's back full-time ready hit retirement.

My company let me take an entire year off. You don't get what you don't ask for.

But, I agree with you, if I couldn't get that flexibility--I would have walked and stayed home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

Totally agree. Similar situation at my previous firm. Many highly qualified and sought-after women were voluntarily leaving to care for their children, so new leave programs were put into place. It's still not perfect, but far better than it once was, when women were afraid to take time off to SAH because they knew their firm held all the cards. If women start standing up for what is right and taking the time they deserve in order to care for their children, companies will sit up and take notice. If, on the other hand, women like the PPs are towing the company line and never taking time off to SAH, then companies will expect this to remain the status quo and continue to take advantage.

While I agree that family and parental leave policies leave a great deal to be desired in this country, I'm not about to sit around waiting for them to change at my kids' expense. Those of you who want to do so, knock yourselves out. In the meantime, I'll be taking care of my own kids until I'm ready to return to work.

Huh? I WAH 100%; had 6 months maternity leave and only worked 20 hours from home until my kids hit elementary school. I am now back up to full-time from home. I'm not sure how that is viewed as 'towing the line' unless you are referring to somebody else.

I am advocating for this flexibility (where applicable) for all women. My older sister got her office to let her and another mother 'job share' so they could both go part-time something their company wouldn't let anyone do prior. Her kids are in college now and she's back full-time ready hit retirement.

My company let me take an entire year off. You don't get what you don't ask for.

I agree that you don't get what you don't ask for; but many of us WANT to leave work in order to SAH full-time. We're not asking for anything. As for you, you keep popping up with your WAH status, as if that's what we're talking about. It's not. Obviously, we're talking about women who refuse to consider anything but WOH full-time, even if they might like to take time off to SAH. These are the women who are toeing the line, and the companies that count on them sticking around are the ones with the horrible leave policies.