Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. This thread is so embarrassing for WOHM. I finally clicked on it to see why it has so many pages and of course, it's because of the mommy wars! Working moms, don't we have better ways to spend our free time than arguing in the mommy war? Who cares how SAHM spends their day???

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

I am a SAHM and don't fit any of your assumptions.

Neither do I. (PP who posted her schedule). My husband works, sure. But my marriage is actually pretty fantastic. Beyond being romantic, we're best friends. I don't think my being home matters to my husband beyond the fact that I do a lot of the house stuff while he's working. There's no power struggle in my marriage. We both feel empowered and vital to each other's lives.

I think working is important and even necessary for many people. I don't begrudge anyone that point. But for my family, we didn't need my income and I don't enjoy working nearly as much as taking care of the home, my husband and children. It's my preference. Yes, it's retro. Yes, it's not something people admit to all day (finding joy in making a dinner your family loves or deep cleaning bathrooms while listening to NPR). But it's my choice and I am not hurting anyone. That's why I just don't get it. Seriously. Can someone explain?

PP, they can't because denigrating someone else's life is so much more fun apparently.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

Nothing fires up a DC working mother like a SAHM! I live in Calif and in all my years of living here...as a working woman and a SAHM...I've never heard anyone argue about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't need my income. DH makes $450k---it's nice to think of my salary $160k as spending $$. I like what I do and it is very flexible so I meet the kids every day after school and WAH most of the time. I have no guilt over any expenses or outsourcing all the dirty jobs. I will never scrub a toilet again.

I'm a SAHM and don't scrub toilets either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing fires up a DC working mother like a SAHM! I live in Calif and in all my years of living here...as a working woman and a SAHM...I've never heard anyone argue about this.

People are very educated and career-oriented in DC. It was very, very rare to find a working mom when I was in Phoenix or SoCal. In fact, friends that moved out there complain about the 'scene' out there. It's been incredibly depressing for them after leaving this area. The conversations and socialization is very dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After the kids leave, I go to yoga and/or the gym. Come home, get myself off, shower. Have a snack. Watch something or read. Then I'll go shopping or have a mani pedi. Have a light lunch out. Arrive home to meet the kids. Nanny will help with homework. Housekeeper has dinner prepped, so I'll just shove it in the oven. Have a glass of wine and wait for DH to come home around 9.

What's the "M" part of SAHM in your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were a day care worker, a chef, a housekeeper, a tutor, a chauffeur etc. I would be worthy. SAHM? Useless.

Thank you. Now we can just refer to your post when people deny that idiots like you actually exist. Have a great night!

You make no sense. Have a great night too.

Seriously? Get a clue.

What exactly is your argument? This thread has proven time and time again what the PP stated is true. If a sahm got a paycheck for any of the things she did during the day she would be "acceptable" "valid" and "fulfilled". No paycheck? Wasting her degree and her life.

Are you the first poster and if so, were you being facetious? Because it certainly came off as being entirely sincere; that is, that you believe SAHMs are worthless. I'll be honest: I can't tell if you're kidding or not.

Considering the original statement states If I were than I would be its pretty easy to deduce that its a SAHM expressing the ridiculous double standard expressed repeatedly in this thread.

I apologize. I honestly thought that was a post by one of the WOHMs here who, as you say, love to express their double standards. My mistake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. This thread is so embarrassing for WOHM. I finally clicked on it to see why it has so many pages and of course, it's because of the mommy wars! Working moms, don't we have better ways to spend our free time than arguing in the mommy war? Who cares how SAHM spends their day???

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

End of Argument: No SAHM is arguing that their life is so difficult. They are saying that their lives and their kids and DHs life is much easier because they SAHM.

Neanderthal WOHM women (both in attitude and looks), do not know the concept of CHOICE that the SAHMs have. They think they are feminists, but they are not.

I find two kinds of WOHM women - Angry ones who are resentful because their DHs do not make enough for them to SAHM. Usually, they neglect their DHs sexually because they do not want to have sex with their own husbands. They are also looking for Alpha married men at the office to have an affair with in the hopes to either get them to divorce their wives and marry them, or in the hopes of keeping their jobs because they are so dumb. They are usually married to guys with massive SHORTCOMINGS!

Women who are terrible moms or have no kids. These are married to self obsessed jerks too. They have tons of fights about every single aspect of their lives. These are the kind of women, who like to sleep around with their coworkers during conventions or trips.

The WOMHS are either obsessed with their looks or have let themselves go. Their homes are messy and dirty and their kids are rude. Most WOHMs who make more their husbands, give them hell, and their husbands are henpecked emasculated men. These men have married above their station and they have to continue to be under their command because they know that their meal ticket can leave them. They turn a blind-eye to their wives office affairs. Most of the men whose wives WOHM, also try and sleep with the nanny, au pair and the maids. These are desperate men and women, and lack morals. They continue to be angry about the success of SAHM households.

There are many WOHM that hate their work, are paid less, have bad work environments = and they still hang on to their jobs because they know that if they don't bring the money home, their husbands will dump their sorry ass.

I think the working mom hit a nerve

Really? I think the SAHM hit the nail on the head! End of the mystery of why WOHMS even care what SAHMs do.

I completely agree. The initial PP who decided to drum up some stereotypes of SAHMs (far-fetched, even by DCUM standards) deserved every word written above. If you plan on dishing it out...

[Anonymous]

Facebook. That's what they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. This thread is so embarrassing for WOHM. I finally clicked on it to see why it has so many pages and of course, it's because of the mommy wars! Working moms, don't we have better ways to spend our free time than arguing in the mommy war? Who cares how SAHM spends their day???

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

I am a SAHM and don't fit any of your assumptions.

Neither do I. (PP who posted her schedule). My husband works, sure. But my marriage is actually pretty fantastic. Beyond being romantic, we're best friends. I don't think my being home matters to my husband beyond the fact that I do a lot of the house stuff while he's working. There's no power struggle in my marriage. We both feel empowered and vital to each other's lives.

I think working is important and even necessary for many people. I don't begrudge anyone that point. But for my family, we didn't need my income and I don't enjoy working nearly as much as taking care of the home, my husband and children. It's my preference. Yes, it's retro. Yes, it's not something people admit to all day (finding joy in making a dinner your family loves or deep cleaning bathrooms while listening to NPR). But it's my choice and I am not hurting anyone. That's why I just don't get it. Seriously. Can someone explain?

+100 to everything you said, except I have no desire to deep clean my bathrooms and so we hire that out!
I do feel the same way about my husband - we're very much a team. Both of us enjoy what we do, so it works great. This "power struggle" so often described by WOHMs about the marriages of SAHMs is a completely foreign concept to me; it's so obviously wishful thinking on their part.

I actually don't feel that SAH is a retro choice. Almost every woman I know either currently stays home with their kids, or used to SAH and has returned to work in recent years. There are so many seasons to life, and SAH or WOH don't have to be finite choices. To me, the only people trying to make it out as some sort of 50's throwback, are the women like those on these threads, who are furious that anyone would make the choice to be home when they themselves are not. A PP asked that we not use the word "jealousy," but when it comes down to it, why else would someone express, in such nasty terms, how they feel about SAHMs if they weren't either jealous, deeply insecure about their own lives, or just a bitch (more likely, all of the above). It's really sad that there are some women who are so unhappy in their own lives that they feel they have to put down those of us who are happy. I know there are WOHM who aren't like this - but we don't see a whole lot of them here on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

End of Argument: No SAHM is arguing that their life is so difficult. They are saying that their lives and their kids and DHs life is much easier because they SAHM.



This is exactly right. Not one SAHM has said their life is difficult. The whole point of SAH is to make life easier for everyone in the family, including the SAHM! It's the ridiculous martyr WOHMs who have to insist, with no prompting from anyone, how very difficult their lives are. Which I have to say, just reinforces how very unappealing the lives of many WOHMs are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. This thread is so embarrassing for WOHM. I finally clicked on it to see why it has so many pages and of course, it's because of the mommy wars! Working moms, don't we have better ways to spend our free time than arguing in the mommy war? Who cares how SAHM spends their day???

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

I am a SAHM and don't fit any of your assumptions.

Neither do I. (PP who posted her schedule). My husband works, sure. But my marriage is actually pretty fantastic. Beyond being romantic, we're best friends. I don't think my being home matters to my husband beyond the fact that I do a lot of the house stuff while he's working. There's no power struggle in my marriage. We both feel empowered and vital to each other's lives.

I think working is important and even necessary for many people. I don't begrudge anyone that point. But for my family, we didn't need my income and I don't enjoy working nearly as much as taking care of the home, my husband and children. It's my preference. Yes, it's retro. Yes, it's not something people admit to all day (finding joy in making a dinner your family loves or deep cleaning bathrooms while listening to NPR). But it's my choice and I am not hurting anyone. That's why I just don't get it. Seriously. Can someone explain?

+100 to everything you said, except I have no desire to deep clean my bathrooms and so we hire that out!
I do feel the same way about my husband - we're very much a team. Both of us enjoy what we do, so it works great. This "power struggle" so often described by WOHMs about the marriages of SAHMs is a completely foreign concept to me; it's so obviously wishful thinking on their part.

I actually don't feel that SAH is a retro choice. Almost every woman I know either currently stays home with their kids, or used to SAH and has returned to work in recent years. There are so many seasons to life, and SAH or WOH don't have to be finite choices. To me, the only people trying to make it out as some sort of 50's throwback, are the women like those on these threads, who are furious that anyone would make the choice to be home when they themselves are not. A PP asked that we not use the word "jealousy," but when it comes down to it, why else would someone express, in such nasty terms, how they feel about SAHMs if they weren't either jealous, deeply insecure about their own lives, or just a bitch (more likely, all of the above). It's really sad that there are some women who are so unhappy in their own lives that they feel they have to put down those of us who are happy. I know there are WOHM who aren't like this - but we don't see a whole lot of them here on DCUM.

I think that's because the nasty gossipers at every elementary school are the SAHMs. The word is 'justify' in that case. They will tear apart working moms to justify their position. I WAH, but people at our school think I'm a SAHM because I volunteer a good deal and I'm always at pick up in workout clothes--because of work I don't have time to shower after my workout -until evening. I get quite the doozy earful about how 'poor so and so's mom never comes in for a part or chaperones, etc.". It really goes both ways. I like to try to stay out of it because I have a foot in each world and do occasionally hear from WOHms that think Sally is a nosy busy-body because she has too much free time. The never-ending war...

[Anonymous]

This is not a fair argument. One group has 6.5 hours of free time to chime in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. This thread is so embarrassing for WOHM. I finally clicked on it to see why it has so many pages and of course, it's because of the mommy wars! Working moms, don't we have better ways to spend our free time than arguing in the mommy war? Who cares how SAHM spends their day???

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

Wow. The fact that you think this is so, so strange. I think this is DC culture or something. I WOH now, but I used to SAHM. It was a decision DH and I both agreed upon. We both had SAHM when we were young, and we both *really* appreciated that. We wanted that for our kids too. I also knew that if I didn't stay at home at least a few years, down the line, I'd probably regret it. He makes 300, and I make 100, so it made sense for me to be the one that stayed home. THen I started picking up part time freelance work when the kids were toddlers. Now I'm back to work full time, but from home, but I have LOTS of friends who are still at home and I have to say, your description does not accurately fit any of them. Their lives are busy, full, and they do a lot for their own kids, their own families, and even the community's kids. Example, one of my friends considers herself a SAHM because she does just one night shift a week (ER doc). She then volunteers once a week at my preschooler's school and practices Spanish with them. I LOVE that she's able to do this, and share what she knows with the community. And FWIW, her DH is also a successful doc with a thriving practice and I don't think anyone would consider him a 'schlub!'.

Its sad that your circle is so limited.

+1000
Well said. Re: the bolded, this is exactly why I'm now a SAHM. My husband and I both had SAHMs and absolutely loved our childhoods. My mom was home with us until I was a sophomore in high school, and then she returned to work (Fed). To this day, she is my best friend and the woman I most admire in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After the kids leave, I go to yoga and/or the gym. Come home, get myself off, shower. Have a snack. Watch something or read. Then I'll go shopping or have a mani pedi. Have a light lunch out. Arrive home to meet the kids. Nanny will help with homework. Housekeeper has dinner prepped, so I'll just shove it in the oven. Have a glass of wine and wait for DH to come home around 9.

What's the "M" part of SAHM in your house?

It's already been established that this is a troll. Can't you recognize the hallmarks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh. My. God. This thread is so embarrassing for WOHM. I finally clicked on it to see why it has so many pages and of course, it's because of the mommy wars! Working moms, don't we have better ways to spend our free time than arguing in the mommy war? Who cares how SAHM spends their day???

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

Wow. The fact that you think this is so, so strange. I think this is DC culture or something. I WOH now, but I used to SAHM. It was a decision DH and I both agreed upon. We both had SAHM when we were young, and we both *really* appreciated that. We wanted that for our kids too. I also knew that if I didn't stay at home at least a few years, down the line, I'd probably regret it. He makes 300, and I make 100, so it made sense for me to be the one that stayed home. THen I started picking up part time freelance work when the kids were toddlers. Now I'm back to work full time, but from home, but I have LOTS of friends who are still at home and I have to say, your description does not accurately fit any of them. Their lives are busy, full, and they do a lot for their own kids, their own families, and even the community's kids. Example, one of my friends considers herself a SAHM because she does just one night shift a week (ER doc). She then volunteers once a week at my preschooler's school and practices Spanish with them. I LOVE that she's able to do this, and share what she knows with the community. And FWIW, her DH is also a successful doc with a thriving practice and I don't think anyone would consider him a 'schlub!'.

Its sad that your circle is so limited.

+1000
Well said. Re: the bolded, this is exactly why I'm now a SAHM. My husband and I both had SAHMs and absolutely loved our childhoods. My mom was home with us until I was a sophomore in high school, and then she returned to work (Fed). To this day, she is my best friend and the woman I most admire in the world.

My mom did it all. She was home when we were very young then matched our schedules in junior high and HS. My dad was the great chef and she loved to clean. They both came to all or our games and my dad was my travel coach.

I love both my parents for the support and the idea that gender didn't matter. They treated my brother and sister and I equally. No pussy-footing with the girls, no macho shit with the boy. Same standard for all.