In laws lifestyle 'hobby' vis a vis our children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned so weird. Chances are OP embellishes things/is imprecise in her posts due to her opaque writing style and possibly a desire to disguise details. I don't believe she actually confirmed the "activity" is fox hunting although did confirm it involves riding horses. Small chance she is making the whole thing up. And now all these dirt poor fox hunters (?) are up in arms that she is misrepresenting and slandering their sport. I agree with the PP who have said that, if fox hunting is the activity, this reaction by the fox hunting community strengthens my sympathy for the OP "vis a vis" (ha!) her in-laws.

"fox hunting community"??? Only one PP here is an actual fox hunter. Everyone else is simply speaking from their knowledge as equestrians of all types. None of the opinions stated are exclusive to the fox hunting community; more about plain old good horsemanship than anything else. And yes, I know plenty of fox hunters of very modest means. The sport is very popular in the DMV region. Why don't you get out and meet a few and broaden your horizons.

PS anyone who still claims there is any doubt the OP is referring to foxhunting is being deliberately obtuse.

Regardless, you're not selling yourselves or your precious community in a very attractive light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned so weird. Chances are OP embellishes things/is imprecise in her posts due to her opaque writing style and possibly a desire to disguise details. I don't believe she actually confirmed the "activity" is fox hunting although did confirm it involves riding horses. Small chance she is making the whole thing up. And now all these dirt poor fox hunters (?) are up in arms that she is misrepresenting and slandering their sport. I agree with the PP who have said that, if fox hunting is the activity, this reaction by the fox hunting community strengthens my sympathy for the OP "vis a vis" (ha!) her in-laws.

"fox hunting community"??? Only one PP here is an actual fox hunter. Everyone else is simply speaking from their knowledge as equestrians of all types. None of the opinions stated are exclusive to the fox hunting community; more about plain old good horsemanship than anything else. And yes, I know plenty of fox hunters of very modest means. The sport is very popular in the DMV region. Why don't you get out and meet a few and broaden your horizons.

PS anyone who still claims there is any doubt the OP is referring to foxhunting is being deliberately obtuse.

what's still unclear to me is whether fox hunting is the precise tiny corner of equestrian sports OP HERSELF grew up with or not, or whether she thought she knew more about it than she did because she grew up in some other subculture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned so weird. Chances are OP embellishes things/is imprecise in her posts due to her opaque writing style and possibly a desire to disguise details. I don't believe she actually confirmed the "activity" is fox hunting although did confirm it involves riding horses. Small chance she is making the whole thing up. And now all these dirt poor fox hunters (?) are up in arms that she is misrepresenting and slandering their sport. I agree with the PP who have said that, if fox hunting is the activity, this reaction by the fox hunting community strengthens my sympathy for the OP "vis a vis" (ha!) her in-laws.

"fox hunting community"??? Only one PP here is an actual fox hunter. Everyone else is simply speaking from their knowledge as equestrians of all types. None of the opinions stated are exclusive to the fox hunting community; more about plain old good horsemanship than anything else. And yes, I know plenty of fox hunters of very modest means. The sport is very popular in the DMV region. Why don't you get out and meet a few and broaden your horizons.

PS anyone who still claims there is any doubt the OP is referring to foxhunting is being deliberately obtuse.

Hahaha! I know as much about fox hunting as I do about synchronized swimming or jai alai so I have no idea if the OP has in some way made clear that's what she's talking about. You are surely right that this is an indication of my narrow horizons (!!).

[Anonymous]

You're missing the point. Think of it this way - on How to Get Away With Murder they recognize the wallpaper in a phone Dick pic and that gives away a major plot line.

Understanding some things about horses made it possible to recognize some of OP's story as bullshit. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned so weird. Chances are OP embellishes things/is imprecise in her posts due to her opaque writing style and possibly a desire to disguise details. I don't believe she actually confirmed the "activity" is fox hunting although did confirm it involves riding horses. Small chance she is making the whole thing up. And now all these dirt poor fox hunters (?) are up in arms that she is misrepresenting and slandering their sport. I agree with the PP who have said that, if fox hunting is the activity, this reaction by the fox hunting community strengthens my sympathy for the OP "vis a vis" (ha!) her in-laws.

"fox hunting community"??? Only one PP here is an actual fox hunter. Everyone else is simply speaking from their knowledge as equestrians of all types. None of the opinions stated are exclusive to the fox hunting community; more about plain old good horsemanship than anything else. And yes, I know plenty of fox hunters of very modest means. The sport is very popular in the DMV region. Why don't you get out and meet a few and broaden your horizons.

PS anyone who still claims there is any doubt the OP is referring to foxhunting is being deliberately obtuse.

The only reason I am not entirely sure it is fox hunting is the way OP described her ILs level of activity in early posts. She made it sound like they do it nearly every day, year round. Nobody does a fox hunt/chase every day year round -- or even every weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned so weird. Chances are OP embellishes things/is imprecise in her posts due to her opaque writing style and possibly a desire to disguise details. I don't believe she actually confirmed the "activity" is fox hunting although did confirm it involves riding horses. Small chance she is making the whole thing up. And now all these dirt poor fox hunters (?) are up in arms that she is misrepresenting and slandering their sport. I agree with the PP who have said that, if fox hunting is the activity, this reaction by the fox hunting community strengthens my sympathy for the OP "vis a vis" (ha!) her in-laws.

"fox hunting community"??? Only one PP here is an actual fox hunter. Everyone else is simply speaking from their knowledge as equestrians of all types. None of the opinions stated are exclusive to the fox hunting community; more about plain old good horsemanship than anything else. And yes, I know plenty of fox hunters of very modest means. The sport is very popular in the DMV region. Why don't you get out and meet a few and broaden your horizons.

PS anyone who still claims there is any doubt the OP is referring to foxhunting is being deliberately obtuse.

what's still unclear to me is whether fox hunting is the precise tiny corner of equestrian sports OP HERSELF grew up with or not, or whether she thought she knew more about it than she did because she grew up in some other subculture.

This is a really good point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fox hunting.

Most people learn how to fox hunt in their 20s. A few in their early 40s but not many.

Umm, no. I started at 11 and most of my friends were born with a seasoned hunt pony already waiting in the barn.

If your family hunts you hunt.

Umm, I started at age 4. I said most people, not all people.

I grew up on a horse farm, and I was a Pony Clubber. Fox Hunting etiquette and terminology are taught at Pony Club and are intrinsic to Pony Club culture/history (I remember when our Pony Club leader taught me, at about 6 years of age, that the little metal d rings on English saddles are for attaching "hunting appointments"; my first grade teacher thought this was hilarious when I explained this to her as I described a drawing in class). Many children start Pony Club when they are 4 or 5 and continue through high school. Our Pony Club attended drag hunts (we were affiliated with a local hunt club), and I was about 7 on my first time out. I don't know anyone who "learned" to fox hunt in their 20s. I guess that would be for people who didn't grow up with horses? In any case, "most" of the horse people I know who hunt learned well before they were in their 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has turned so weird. Chances are OP embellishes things/is imprecise in her posts due to her opaque writing style and possibly a desire to disguise details. I don't believe she actually confirmed the "activity" is fox hunting although did confirm it involves riding horses. Small chance she is making the whole thing up. And now all these dirt poor fox hunters (?) are up in arms that she is misrepresenting and slandering their sport. I agree with the PP who have said that, if fox hunting is the activity, this reaction by the fox hunting community strengthens my sympathy for the OP "vis a vis" (ha!) her in-laws.

"fox hunting community"??? Only one PP here is an actual fox hunter. Everyone else is simply speaking from their knowledge as equestrians of all types. None of the opinions stated are exclusive to the fox hunting community; more about plain old good horsemanship than anything else. And yes, I know plenty of fox hunters of very modest means. The sport is very popular in the DMV region. Why don't you get out and meet a few and broaden your horizons.

PS anyone who still claims there is any doubt the OP is referring to foxhunting is being deliberately obtuse.

The only reason I am not entirely sure it is fox hunting is the way OP described her ILs level of activity in early posts. She made it sound like they do it nearly every day, year round. Nobody does a fox hunt/chase every day year round -- or even every weekend.

Absolutely true although I am not sure that I picked up on the same thing in OP's post. Who knows? Her writing is so unclear. Although timing of her initial post is consistent with cubbing season turning into formal hunting season. So the problem may have recently cropped up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the OP ever say that her kids were actually participating in full-on fox hunting? Maybe I missed it, but I think some of you are putting words into her mouth.

And I don't care how much "the horse always comes first" -- that is fine and understandable. There are less rude ways to go about it than leaving someone stranded in a barn for hours.

They did not leave her alone at the barn. Even if these people are not nice they seem to be horsemen. Nobody with horses would leave someone they don't like back home at the barn unsupervised.

Liability, for one.

When so many elements of a story are laughably and demonstrably false don't buy the rest.

So, holy one, for the uninitiated, what is so demonstrably false? I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the OP ever say that her kids were actually participating in full-on fox hunting? Maybe I missed it, but I think some of you are putting words into her mouth.

And I don't care how much "the horse always comes first" -- that is fine and understandable. There are less rude ways to go about it than leaving someone stranded in a barn for hours.

They did not leave her alone at the barn. Even if these people are not nice they seem to be horsemen. Nobody with horses would leave someone they don't like back home at the barn unsupervised.

Liability, for one.

When so many elements of a story are laughably and demonstrably false don't buy the rest.

So, holy one, for the uninitiated, what is so demonstrably false? I don't get it.

I think OP has been sock puppeting over the last few pages.

[Anonymous]

How much you wanna bet OP'S husband refused to marry her due to pressure from his family and his rich friends, being that she's from the wrong side of town, and her family didn't "summer" anywhere. So he dumped her, then he became engaged to a young socialite he never really loved, and OP cried herself to sleep every night. Until the night of the...I don't know, sorority mixer, to which OP was invited, but then cruelly and mercilessly mocked by his new fiance and her minions. And that was when her future husband realized. ..blah blah blah...against Mother's wishes...blah blah blah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much you wanna bet OP'S husband refused to marry her due to pressure from his family and his rich friends, being that she's from the wrong side of town, and her family didn't "summer" anywhere. So he dumped her, then he became engaged to a young socialite he never really loved, and OP cried herself to sleep every night. Until the night of the...I don't know, sorority mixer, to which OP was invited, but then cruelly and mercilessly mocked by his new fiance and her minions. And that was when her future husband realized. ..blah blah blah...against Mother's wishes...blah blah blah.

Ok, well this pretty much kills this thread for me. So stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the OP ever say that her kids were actually participating in full-on fox hunting? Maybe I missed it, but I think some of you are putting words into her mouth.

And I don't care how much "the horse always comes first" -- that is fine and understandable. There are less rude ways to go about it than leaving someone stranded in a barn for hours.

They did not leave her alone at the barn. Even if these people are not nice they seem to be horsemen. Nobody with horses would leave someone they don't like back home at the barn unsupervised.

Liability, for one.

When so many elements of a story are laughably and demonstrably false don't buy the rest.

So, holy one, for the uninitiated, what is so demonstrably false? I don't get it.

I think OP has been sock puppeting over the last few pages.

This thread stopped making any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the OP ever say that her kids were actually participating in full-on fox hunting? Maybe I missed it, but I think some of you are putting words into her mouth.

And I don't care how much "the horse always comes first" -- that is fine and understandable. There are less rude ways to go about it than leaving someone stranded in a barn for hours.

They did not leave her alone at the barn. Even if these people are not nice they seem to be horsemen. Nobody with horses would leave someone they don't like back home at the barn unsupervised.

Liability, for one.

When so many elements of a story are laughably and demonstrably false don't buy the rest.

Sure they would. She is horsey enough not to hurt the horses in the barn, but they did not want to ride with her. perfect teenage revenge.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha, she's basically admitted the sport, but you have to have read the thread.

Anyway, op, it sounds like you thought you could have a closer relationship with them, and now you realize the positioning that feels best for you. The big question, is how do you let your children have a healthy relationship with your grandparents, without enabling this wierd, condescending treatment to Marr all of that.

I think being armed with a therapists advice is not a bad idea. These people sound like a handful. Stay away from the activity, and be prepared for them to push back on other boundaries as a result.

+1