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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Head of household" PP. Can you give an example of a big decision where your husband's preference trumps your preference?

Sorry if this has been asked in the last 2 pages of sniping, which I did not read because the first 14 pages were pretty exhausting.[/quote]

I've got work to do. I'm no longer wasting my time on people unable comprehend beyond their own ridged bias and ignorance.[/quote]

I was actually curious. It wasn't a loaded question and I'm not the PP who is attacking you. I can think of a number of really big family decisions where there would be no way I could accept someone else's decision if I completely disagreed. My list of dealbreakers is pretty tiny, but because this isn't the way it works in my family, it's pretty much hypothetical. I was hoping that someone for whom it's NOT hypothetical could weigh in about their actual experience.

If it's something like "I preferred school X for Larla while DH preferred school Y and because he's the decider, Larla goes to school Y" that's one thing. There is a thread on Expectant Moms right now where a woman is unexpectedly pregnant after infertility and wants to keep the baby, while her husband wants her to get an abortion. I am curious as to how the "head of household" PP(s) would resolve such a dilemma.[/quote]

I'll give you one that happened a few years ago.  We were buying a house. We looked at dozens and could not agree. He made the final decision on the house we purchased. I hated it and he promised to make it liveable for me and I bitched a lot about it. He lived up to that promise and the entire house has been remodeled. Top to bottom. I love the house now. I just couldn't see past the horrible finishes at the time.

However, I'm not sure why all of you are freaking out over the decision thing. How often do couples really disagree? I don't know about you, but it is so incredibly rare that we strongly want to go in two separate directions. In all honesty our biggest disagreement ever in our marriage was over our wedding. I wanted to elope, he did not. I completely threw my hands up and said fine and only referred to it has his wedding. THat is the only time we had an enormous blow out, which of course made me pause and wonder if I was making the right choice.

Being head of the household is really just having the big shoulders to carry us on. Being a stand up guy who is emotionally solid, being the rock for me when I need view of steady ground when I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean. Being the man that barrels outside with a baseball bat when someone is trying to break in (yes, that happened), advocating for our family when needed, or when my efforts have not gotten us anywhere, being the guy that will beat the contractor up for the best price and then come down on him and make him do it again when it is not done as promised.

I'm sure many of you are made of well worn and tested leather. However, I actually like having a man who can take care of shit when I don't want to expel the energy. I like having someone I can fall back on and trust that he will get it done. I'm comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to sit back sometimes and let someone else sail the ship. I don't always want the ship to have two captains, I'm happy being co. It doesn't' bruise my ego one bit. [/quote]

Thank you for your answer. It sounds like you have a great marriage.

With the house example, was there a house that you liked better? [/quote]

Yes, I wanted to move into a town house and he wanted nothing to do with anything other than a SFH, there was a fundamental divide. We could afford a TH that had the interior loaded with new finishes and move right in. We did not have the budget for a SFH with all the options I wanted. However, in retrospect, this SFH Is better because now the house is customized to what I want. He could have cared less about the interior. He wanted the yard for our boys, as he coaches all of their sports. [/quote]

Ok I see. Your Dh was right. Perhaps he's the head of the household because he's more intelligent and/or worldly wise than you are, rather than simply because he's male.[/quote]

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