FA - real life

[Anonymous]

Since this thread never runs of out steam, can I pause all the rancor for a moment and ask a practical question?

We are a family who just applied to private for high school. We did not apply for financial aid since I didn't think we'd qualify. After reading this and the other thread, I now wonder if that was a mistake and feeling a bit stupid for not trying.

IF, we get accepted, is it possible (or frowned upon) to apply for aid for your second year of enrollment?

We have kid #2 coming up in a few years, so we'll definitely try for FA then even if we do full pay for #1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since this thread never runs of out steam, can I pause all the rancor for a moment and ask a practical question?

We are a family who just applied to private for high school. We did not apply for financial aid since I didn't think we'd qualify. After reading this and the other thread, I now wonder if that was a mistake and feeling a bit stupid for not trying.

IF, we get accepted, is it possible (or frowned upon) to apply for aid for your second year of enrollment?

We have kid #2 coming up in a few years, so we'll definitely try for FA then even if we do full pay for #1.

You can always apply for FA.

And there isn't anything personal in the process. If they have the money in the budget and they feel that you should get some of it, they will give it to you. If not, then they won't.

This is all pretty mechanical.

Now if they suspect that something else is going on like you trying to gam the system or being dishonest, then it might get a little personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like what is missing is that the FA programs and thresholds aren't very transparent.

Deerfield Academy has very publicly announced that any family at $150k or below attends for free and that no family will pay more than 10% of AGI.

Considering Deerfield is $80k/year, that means families earning up to $800k per year (assuming you don't have millions in assets) will receive something.

I assume that if Sidwell or whomever basically said that any family earning up to $600k per year received something (with some public formula for how multiple kids work) and it was fairly transparent, then there would not be so much complaining.

Some schools aren’t transparent, I agree. But others are quite clear about people in the 200s and 300s getting aid (Maret and Landon both have this on their sites, Episcopal has expected family contributions at different income brackets, SSSAS used to have example cases including one of these ranges). You can assume if it is true at some of them it is probably true at most of them. At a higher range it is true it is much less transparent across the board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since this thread never runs of out steam, can I pause all the rancor for a moment and ask a practical question?

We are a family who just applied to private for high school. We did not apply for financial aid since I didn't think we'd qualify. After reading this and the other thread, I now wonder if that was a mistake and feeling a bit stupid for not trying.

IF, we get accepted, is it possible (or frowned upon) to apply for aid for your second year of enrollment?

We have kid #2 coming up in a few years, so we'll definitely try for FA then even if we do full pay for #1.

We did this at our K-8. We were full pay in year 1 (we applied to the school very late and were well past the aid deadline) and then applied for aid in year 2 and every year thereafter. Every year they are free to not give us any, we are not keeping secrets about our income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like what is missing is that the FA programs and thresholds aren't very transparent.

Deerfield Academy has very publicly announced that any family at $150k or below attends for free and that no family will pay more than 10% of AGI.

Considering Deerfield is $80k/year, that means families earning up to $800k per year (assuming you don't have millions in assets) will receive something.

I assume that if Sidwell or whomever basically said that any family earning up to $600k per year received something (with some public formula for how multiple kids work) and it was fairly transparent, then there would not be so much complaining.

All the PPs seem to accept that people with $300k+ incomes are getting aid, so I'm not convinced there's a transparency problem.
Unless the real issue is just that they didn't apply and now they feel foolish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

[Anonymous]

My family has HHI in the high six figures, sometimes over $1 million in a good year. Fortunately we live in the Langley district, which is a fantastic, so we send two of our three kids to Langley. The third goes to a Catholic school to meet certain needs, which is not cheap, but nothing like the fancy privates on this site. We don't consider public "dropping down." our boys love Langley and are both on track to go to good colleges. We did not even apply for FA at the Catholic school and are happy for more needy families to take advantage of the aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

It is a gift because generous donors are paying it for you. Their philanthropy makes it possible. The money has to come from somewhere, and it is from donations as well as from the full pay families who pay thousands more in tuition each year to make financial aid possible.

If you are on financial aid, there are other people paying the bill for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family has HHI in the high six figures, sometimes over $1 million in a good year. Fortunately we live in the Langley district, which is a fantastic, so we send two of our three kids to Langley. The third goes to a Catholic school to meet certain needs, which is not cheap, but nothing like the fancy privates on this site. We don't consider public "dropping down." our boys love Langley and are both on track to go to good colleges. We did not even apply for FA at the Catholic school and are happy for more needy families to take advantage of the aid.

You would never get aid with a HHI in the high six figures and sometimes seven figures... You can afford to send all three of your kids to the most expensive schools while enjoying many luxuries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

It is a gift because generous donors are paying it for you. Their philanthropy makes it possible. The money has to come from somewhere, and it is from donations as well as from the full pay families who pay thousands more in tuition each year to make financial aid possible.

If you are on financial aid, there are other people paying the bill for your kids.

At the schools with the largest donors and endowments, even the full pay kids have other people paying the bill for them. Hope you wrote them a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

They should let the poor kids join the army so they can help steal the oil money in Venezuela and earn their tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

It is a gift because generous donors are paying it for you. Their philanthropy makes it possible. The money has to come from somewhere, and it is from donations as well as from the full pay families who pay thousands more in tuition each year to make financial aid possible.

If you are on financial aid, there are other people paying the bill for your kids.

At the schools with the largest donors and endowments, even the full pay kids have other people paying the bill for them. Hope you wrote them a thank you note.

your reference to thank you notes is mostly sarcastic, but it would be nice if the kids and families of the kids being subsidized showed some gratitude to the wealthier families who are subsidizing them; many of these schools seem to have a culture of looking at "privilege" as something negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

It is a gift because generous donors are paying it for you. Their philanthropy makes it possible. The money has to come from somewhere, and it is from donations as well as from the full pay families who pay thousands more in tuition each year to make financial aid possible.

If you are on financial aid, there are other people paying the bill for your kids.

At the schools with the largest donors and endowments, even the full pay kids have other people paying the bill for them. Hope you wrote them a thank you note.

your reference to thank you notes is mostly sarcastic, but it would be nice if the kids and families of the kids being subsidized showed some gratitude to the wealthier families who are subsidizing them; many of these schools seem to have a culture of looking at "privilege" as something negative.

Complete bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

It is a gift because generous donors are paying it for you. Their philanthropy makes it possible. The money has to come from somewhere, and it is from donations as well as from the full pay families who pay thousands more in tuition each year to make financial aid possible.

If you are on financial aid, there are other people paying the bill for your kids.

At the schools with the largest donors and endowments, even the full pay kids have other people paying the bill for them. Hope you wrote them a thank you note.

your reference to thank you notes is mostly sarcastic, but it would be nice if the kids and families of the kids being subsidized showed some gratitude to the wealthier families who are subsidizing them; many of these schools seem to have a culture of looking at "privilege" as something negative.

Lol, thanks for finally admitting what all the outrage is about. How petty.

My family is incredibly privileged to be able to pay 4/5 of the tuition.
And, while I am grateful for the 1/5 we get in aid, I also know my well-behaved academically advanced kid is contributing to the school. I don't think we'd get aid if that wasn't the case. I don't feel like a second class citizen at the school and if that makes full pay families mad, then they can be mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I have seen at our school, families with multiple children getting substantial FA taking vacations to Europe where families like ours that are full pay for two kids can't afford to take the number of vacations the families on FA take or got to places like the FA families do. That I think is unfair.

Then you should have applied for FA. The school does not expect you to live like a pauper, even if some of the weirdos here do.

I have seen very few full pay families have to restrain themselves the way you are.

Agree. There is no reason to live like a pauper. The schools don't require aid families to do this. If you are choosing to do so then that is your choice. If it helps you sleep at night, good for you. I sleep better knowing we're not paying full price.

You can't force your standard on everyone else, especially since the schools themselves don't share your standard.

You sleep better knowing that other parents at your school are paying for your own kids? Subsidizing your kids through financial aid?

That is a weird thing to say. You are not pulling your weight as a parent. Personally I think you should try to pay back the generous gift you are receiving. Donate it all back.

You are either uninformed or just bitter. Another parent who sleeps better at night knowing they receive financial aid. We fill out our forms correctly and we receive an amount that allows us to send our children to an amazing school. We are incredibly grateful. If I ran into a tremendous amount of money, I would absolutely make a massive donation to our school, but it’s not a quid pro quo. It’s more like a sliding scale for those of you that are so confused.

You are receiving a generous gift. The entitlement on display among some of the posters is really shocking. I have donated large amounts to our school and I am reconsidering my priorities.


They aren’t giving you a discount. They are supposed to be offering a life altering gift to your children.

Can you please explain the difference between a gift of partial tuition and a discount on tuition?

It is a gift because generous donors are paying it for you. Their philanthropy makes it possible. The money has to come from somewhere, and it is from donations as well as from the full pay families who pay thousands more in tuition each year to make financial aid possible.

If you are on financial aid, there are other people paying the bill for your kids.

At the schools with the largest donors and endowments, even the full pay kids have other people paying the bill for them. Hope you wrote them a thank you note.

your reference to thank you notes is mostly sarcastic, but it would be nice if the kids and families of the kids being subsidized showed some gratitude to the wealthier families who are subsidizing them; many of these schools seem to have a culture of looking at "privilege" as something negative.

Lol, thanks for finally admitting what all the outrage is about. How petty.

My family is incredibly privileged to be able to pay 4/5 of the tuition.
And, while I am grateful for the 1/5 we get in aid, I also know my well-behaved academically advanced kid is contributing to the school. I don't think we'd get aid if that wasn't the case. I don't feel like a second class citizen at the school and if that makes full pay families mad, then they can be mad.

The admissions standards are the same for all kids, regardless of financial aid. Your kid going to school there, who is academically advanced and well behaved, contributes nothing more than the next kid.


On the other hand, as a parent you are contributing much less than the other parents. You are actually letting the others parents pay for your kid. You are receiving a generous gift however you seem to think you earned it. You have not.