FA - real life

[Anonymous]

The previous post about HHI income vs FA was upsetting as someone who receives FA. It seems there are a lot of misinformation about how the process works and having been a parent whose (multiple) children receive FA, I would like to offer some clarity and ask people to be a little more nuanced in their thoughts on this.

We have a household income of about 300K. We have a modest house in the burbs and send all three of our children to a well regarded and frequently mentioned school on this site. All three of our kids did some of their earliest years at the public before moving over. For anyone not making 300K with two working parents and three kids in the DC suburbs, its tight. Are we luckier than many people, yes of course, but its tight. We have to pay for childcare every summer because we both work--that is pricey. DH has some student loans left. We have a small house where two kids share a room, updates have been pushed off every year. We take one vacation a year that I price shop for. We watch our budget at the grocery store.

While there are some children at our school who are truly economically disadvantaged, and I would imagine receive far more than we do in aid (we receive about 25%), most families are incredibly well off. I suspect for many, tuition payments are a rounding error. There are very few families like ours who are 'DC middle class'. Don't come at me for this but who parents making together 300K before taxes is not rich in DC, and we all know it. Throw in kids, and we are floundering at times. We save and hold off on so much to make tuition payments, but we could not get there without the FA.

[Anonymous]

If you used public school, you would be very well off. That is the thing. You want private, but you can’t quite get there financially.

You had three kids and want them all in private. Three kids is a large family. You should either figure out how to earn more, or drop down to public.

Financial aid doesn’t make sense for you. You could afford private if you had fewer kids. You had a big family and stretched your budget too far. Either earn more or drop down to public.

[Anonymous]

You would be a wealthy family in public school. However you want financial aid to put a total of 3 kids in private school instead. How does any of this make sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would be a wealthy family in public school. However you want financial aid to put a total of 3 kids in private school instead. How does any of this make sense?

[Anonymous]

But we don’t want to be a wealthy family. We want to be a family that sends our kids to private school because we were unhappy with what our decent public school provided. We are happy to sacrifice to meet the very sizable tuition that financial aid does not cover. But I don’t understand why this bothers anybody. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to apply for and receive aid if we qualify?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you used public school, you would be very well off. That is the thing. You want private, but you can’t quite get there financially.

You had three kids and want them all in private. Three kids is a large family. You should either figure out how to earn more, or drop down to public.

Financial aid doesn’t make sense for you. You could afford private if you had fewer kids. You had a big family and stretched your budget too far. Either earn more or drop down to public.

The answer could be “earn more or drop down to public” for pretty much any FAID applicant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But we don’t want to be a wealthy family. We want to be a family that sends our kids to private school because we were unhappy with what our decent public school provided. We are happy to sacrifice to meet the very sizable tuition that financial aid does not cover. But I don’t understand why this bothers anybody. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to apply for and receive aid if we qualify?

There are lots of public schools and people move to choose a different one.


Would you also use second hand clothing or get food from a food pantry so you can afford this lifestyle? It just becomes absurd at some point.

[Anonymous]

You get aid. You object to struggling the way families that have lower HHI do despite their aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But we don’t want to be a wealthy family. We want to be a family that sends our kids to private school because we were unhappy with what our decent public school provided. We are happy to sacrifice to meet the very sizable tuition that financial aid does not cover. But I don’t understand why this bothers anybody. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to apply for and receive aid if we qualify?

Anybody with three kids in private school is a wealthy family. Wow you are out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about it. There are a few nutcases on this site that hijack every FA thread and the private school forum is quite toxic generally. Most full pay families are fully aware of the kids at their school and recognize that all of the aid is not going to low-income kids, in no small part because there are very few genuinely low-income kids. Most of us also recognize what you describe—there are even families making $500k or $600k that feel the way you do (though they don’t generally receive FA at that level). And those making more than that don’t think of $200k or $300k as rich at all. This is how I know most of these commenters are complete bullsh*tters, though.

[Anonymous]

I am a full pay parent and this is not how I want the FA funds to be directed. First of all, the family is rather large meaning that the parents are going to be financially constrained due to their decision to have more kids than they can afford. Second, the only financial hardship I see here is affording private for three kids. Could they afford one? Sure. Two? Maybe. Three? No they need financial aid!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would be a wealthy family in public school. However you want financial aid to put a total of 3 kids in private school instead. How does any of this make sense?

This, what do you consider a modest home. You made life choices, as in house cost and number of children and want a lifestyle above what you can afford. At 300K you should not get aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But we don’t want to be a wealthy family. We want to be a family that sends our kids to private school because we were unhappy with what our decent public school provided. We are happy to sacrifice to meet the very sizable tuition that financial aid does not cover. But I don’t understand why this bothers anybody. Why shouldn’t we be allowed to apply for and receive aid if we qualify?

You are a wealthy family, living way above your means.

[Anonymous]

Question for OP: how do you think the other parents at your school feel about FA families?

[Anonymous]

People angry about financial aid and how schools are doling it out should simply enroll in a school that doesn’t offer need-based aid. There are plenty. No one’s forcing you to go to Sidwell or Maret.