Napping on vacation when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonder how this thread would play out if genders were reversed.

u

+1

I also wonder how it play out or the timing of this was reversed. What if he insisted on sleeping in until 10am every AM or going to bed by 9pm every evening (adding the same 2hrs in these scenarios)? So nothing could be scheduled until 11am and need to be in on time for the early bedtime. Still totally fine?

I’m a night owl, absolutely not a morning person, and wouldn’t leave the hotel until 10/11am if it were up to me. But- I learned long long ago that this is unusual and would generally be considered rude. The world doesn’t revolve around my schedule. Even on vacation. Even if we didn’t bring the kids, it would be rude and in inconsiderate to DH to insist on sleeping so late every day.

Why are naps different?

+1

They’re less important for starters

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always build in 2-3 hours a day of downtime even on active vacations, but the window of time in which it takes place is scheduled around the day’s activities, not the other way around. It’s totally reasonable to want some quiet relaxation time on VACATION (especially with kids old enough to entertain themselves) but too rigid insist it occur from exactly 2-4PM every day.

YES exactly this. Having to come back to the hotel at a set time each day interferes with a lot of fun activities you might do. When you have a toddler, that's just reality. With an adult, it feels very selfish and self-indulgent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always build in 2-3 hours a day of downtime even on active vacations, but the window of time in which it takes place is scheduled around the day’s activities, not the other way around. It’s totally reasonable to want some quiet relaxation time on VACATION (especially with kids old enough to entertain themselves) but too rigid insist it occur from exactly 2-4PM every day.

YES exactly this. Having to come back to the hotel at a set time each day interferes with a lot of fun activities you might do. When you have a toddler, that's just reality. With an adult, it feels very selfish and self-indulgent.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild to me. I’m a physician who gets through 14 hour shifts in the hospital with no problem. But when I’m not seeing patients and have a day off at home, you bet I nap. If my spouse told me I couldn’t nap on vacation I would say I’ll see you when you get back, enjoy the beach.

Is your spouse a stay at home ?

Sounds like it because you expect to do what you want when you want. When kids are little, their needs come first.

You sound very entitled.

+1

Yeah, we all work hard, Doc. You just get paid better. Be a better husband and father, please.

Nice try ladies. I’m the DW. Husband is a fed.

Jesus. Who needs men to hold us back with you two around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is wild to me. I’m a physician who gets through 14 hour shifts in the hospital with no problem. But when I’m not seeing patients and have a day off at home, you bet I nap. If my spouse told me I couldn’t nap on vacation I would say I’ll see you when you get back, enjoy the beach.

Is your spouse a stay at home ?

Sounds like it because you expect to do what you want when you want. When kids are little, their needs come first.

You sound very entitled.

+1

Yeah, we all work hard, Doc. You just get paid better. Be a better husband and father, please.

Nice try ladies. I’m the DW. Husband is a fed.

Jesus. Who needs men to hold us back with you two around?

Observing that a particular woman's behavior could stand improvement is not an attack on sisterhood

[Anonymous]

DH is a napper. He also makes $800k and is an engaged father. (I also work full time and make similar to him).

When we go on vacations, we go go go ..... and always build in down time from 4-6 in the hotel room every day. Who can possibly go for 16 hours a day otherwise? He naps, DS plays ipad or watches local tv, I do the crossword. Then we regroup and go out again.

What's the problem here?

[Anonymous]

This is the most 'i'm a mom in the DC area" dcum thread ever.

A husband who wants to take two hours to nap on vacation must have medical issues and otherwise be a lazy terrible father?

No wonder the DC area is so filled with miserable unhappy people.

fwiw DH and I are both highly successful in our careers, super hands on involved parents who haven't used childcare since DS was 3. But you can bet we both nap, let our kid use devices on vacation, and know how to take some serious downtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is a napper. He also makes $800k and is an engaged father. (I also work full time and make similar to him).

When we go on vacations, we go go go ..... and always build in down time from 4-6 in the hotel room every day. Who can possibly go for 16 hours a day otherwise? He naps, DS plays ipad or watches local tv, I do the crossword. Then we regroup and go out again.

What's the problem here?

The problem is that he has to nap at a certain time every day. My family just went on a long vacation. We had a couple hours downtime every afternoon, but it was based on what worked for the family in terms of what we were doing that day. I can't imagine trying to work around a rigid 2-4 schedule every day. Maybe if you are at a beach house it would work, but not for most other things where you are sightseeing, exploring, etc.

[Anonymous]

Wait, not everyone goes back to their hotel room from 4-6 every day on vacation? I thought everyone did this. It's why disneyworld is a ghost town every afternoon. I would assume all inclusive resorts are the same.

What kind of monsters are you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always build in 2-3 hours a day of downtime even on active vacations, but the window of time in which it takes place is scheduled around the day’s activities, not the other way around. It’s totally reasonable to want some quiet relaxation time on VACATION (especially with kids old enough to entertain themselves) but too rigid insist it occur from exactly 2-4PM every day.

YES exactly this. Having to come back to the hotel at a set time each day interferes with a lot of fun activities you might do. When you have a toddler, that's just reality. With an adult, it feels very selfish and self-indulgent.

+1 I think everyone twisting themselves into knots to defend this dad is doing the typical “why can’t you just all accommodate the most difficult person” dance that selfish people love. Yes there is a way to make the top priority for every vacation dads naps but if everyone else demanded a chunk of the day like there wouldn’t be any family time. It’s the difference between making a demand and expecting people to accommodate it and having a reasonable request considered along with everyone else’s preferences.

[Anonymous]

Ps my guess is rather than sleep apnea he’s incredibly out of shape and keeping up with his kids feels like a marathon every morning compared to his usual sedentary life of driving to the office, sitting in front of a computer and then driving home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always build in 2-3 hours a day of downtime even on active vacations, but the window of time in which it takes place is scheduled around the day’s activities, not the other way around. It’s totally reasonable to want some quiet relaxation time on VACATION (especially with kids old enough to entertain themselves) but too rigid insist it occur from exactly 2-4PM every day.

YES exactly this. Having to come back to the hotel at a set time each day interferes with a lot of fun activities you might do. When you have a toddler, that's just reality. With an adult, it feels very selfish and self-indulgent.

+1

Maybe I'm a jerk but I'd deposit him at the hotel and head back out with the kids. He can meet you when his naptime is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always build in 2-3 hours a day of downtime even on active vacations, but the window of time in which it takes place is scheduled around the day’s activities, not the other way around. It’s totally reasonable to want some quiet relaxation time on VACATION (especially with kids old enough to entertain themselves) but too rigid insist it occur from exactly 2-4PM every day.

YES exactly this. Having to come back to the hotel at a set time each day interferes with a lot of fun activities you might do. When you have a toddler, that's just reality. With an adult, it feels very selfish and self-indulgent.

+1

Maybe I'm a jerk but I'd deposit him at the hotel and head back out with the kids. He can meet you when his naptime is over.

I'm a bigger jerk, I guess, because assuming it's what the kids want, I'd just carry on with whatever schedule works for us and he can peel off and go have his nap whenever he wants, then see where we are when he wakes up.

There are ways to trade off so everyone gets some of what they want, but the person who's getting accommodated doesn't get to wrap up their time by putting a final demand on people (that they drive him somewhere, that they wait on getting dinner for her, whatever)

[Anonymous]

my DH is a napper as well. I've gotten used to it and appreciate the downtime. Kids are 5 and 7, so just coming out of naps, but they like the downtime aka screen time or reading as well so far. We've never enjoyed vacations where you have to be go go go with activities the whole time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kids should be old enough to do something independently. No? I'd get it if they were little, but how "on" do you need to be for kids that age? Why can't you get time to yourself as well, if you want it?

Well, I’m open to suggestions. The pool won’t allow kids under 14 to swim unsupervised, so I have to be there. I’m also not just sending my 11 and newly 13yo out into an unfamiliar city. So I guess I also have to go?

When I was 13, my parents let me go to a cathedral by myself. This was in England in the 90s. No cell phones, but our hotel was within walking distance.