Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I not only think overscheduling is killing childhood, but the screens are out of control.


With the younger kids it’s great when they can roam around the neighborhood and play. But once they start getting phones (for us it was 6-7th grades but it seems to be getting younger and younger (even elementary!), I personally lean towards scheduling at the expanse of free time to combat access to screens that I can’t restrict. The other issue is that that’s the age where they form their own friendships with kids whose parents you don’t know as well so you don’t know if they reflect your values about access to the internet, discord etc. It all kind of goes together. I prefer free time for an older kid (if I had a choice) to be at home in the evening post activity/chored/HW (reading, playing with sibling) compared with roaming around with neighborhood kids earlier in the afternoon because of no activity.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.


Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.


Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page


Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.


How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9


These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.


Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.


MS is too old for playgrounds.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.


Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.


Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page


Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.


How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9


These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.


Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.


MS is too old for playgrounds.


No they're not, unless it's a little kiddie one for like toddlers or something
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.


Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.


Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page


Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.


How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9


These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.


Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.


MS is too old for playgrounds.


No they're not, unless it's a little kiddie one for like toddlers or something


Yes it is. 13 year olds aren't hanging out at the local playground. You live in some kind of fantasyland.
Anonymous
I never realize that letting kids in MS have free time and letting them play would be so controversial. Thos was totally normal growing up.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.


Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.


Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page


Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.


How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9


These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.


Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.


MS is too old for playgrounds.


Yeah, middle school kids don’t hang out at playgrounds. My kid likes to play basketball.
Anonymous
Little pigs
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Then OP should have had more kids. It's not everyone else's problem to fix. Apparently OPs parenting philosophy doesn't work unless other parents buy into it. That doesn't sound like someone who has a lot of confidence in their 'let boredom reign' parenting.


OP is also confused about what these other parents are venting about. They -- THE PARENT -- are feeling exhausted, etc., trying to get their kids to everything. Presumably the parent has lots of things going on -- maybe a full time job, 2-3 kids, household chores, maybe a spouse with limited weekday availability. Just because mom is exhausted managing all that doesn't mean each of her individual kids is over scheduled. Dumb assumption.

And sometimes we vent about things that are hard even though we don't want to change them, or we know the hardship is worth it. It just feels good to vent to a friend. Surely OP understands the concept of a vent since she prefaced her post as just that.


But, overscheduling your kids is something that you don't have to do. If your kids likes to and wants to do activities, that great. Let, them if you have that opportunity and those resources, but you don't have to let them do everything that they may want. I don't want super busy kids, or to spend a ton of money so some activities aren't going to happen.


Playing a sport competitively is not over scheduling. If you have 2-3 kids and one kid plays travel soccer, another plays travel baseball and they also like to play basketball or lacrosse. Athletic kids hang out with other athletic kids. This is not some chore. The kids want to play. They see friends from school or the neighborhood. They go out to eat and hang out before and after games. Several teammmates may be invited to the same birthday party.

Yes, there are some days where there are conflicts. There may be family conflicts and we sometimes carpool. OP’s kid not on the same team or on a rec team trying to hang out on a Saturday afternoon isn’t happening but my kid and 5-6 of his buddies may be at my house after we went out for lunch or ice cream after their game/
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.


Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.


Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page


Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.


How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9


These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.


Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.


MS is too old for playgrounds.


MS congregate wherever they can. I never insinuated they were there to play on swings! But yes, in our town it’s a problem that the older kids come around after school time and lounge on the swings socializing and the little kids feel like they can’t play anymore.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't even get OPs beef. She said kids need to be bored but also her kid has no one to play with. So, kid is probably bored. Isn't this what OP wanted?


No, ops can probably can entertain themselves and handle boredom, but it's always better and more fun for kids to have other kids around.


Great things happen when bored teenagers get together.


Once again, not all teenagers do thos things. They ate capable of just being kids and have fun. I'm sorry for kids who aren't.


Are you sorry for the ones sitting at home bored who start chatting with strangers on Discord? https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1192713.page


Sitting around chatting with strangers on discord I'd not a great idea or something that I'd allow.


How about Roblox? The linked article describes how perpetrators have groomed kids as young as 8 years old whom they met in Roblox chatrooms. https://wapo.st/4cb7bi9


These online games make me nervous. So far my kids haven't asked and don't have an interest. Not sure how I'd handle if they did.


Now imagine your kid is in middle school enjoying free time at the playground with other kids whose phones have full access to discord or snap or Roblox. Now your permission is not needed because it’s not your phone.


MS is too old for playgrounds.


What’s your point? Do you really think your middle school kid isn’t accessing screens away from your home?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I never realize that letting kids in MS have free time and letting them play would be so controversial. Thos was totally normal growing up.


Get back to us when you actually have a middle school kid and know how these kids spend their time. A lot of things are different now from when you were a kid.
Anonymous
so I struggle with this - I have a young son and I am trying to expose him to various sports to try to find out what he likes. He seems to like them all. I just found out that 2 of the sports have games at the exact same time so I will probably pull him out of one to not miss games. It feels stressful because he is not exposed to the sport I pull him ot of - he is 7. I guess there is plenty of time to try it.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:so I struggle with this - I have a young son and I am trying to expose him to various sports to try to find out what he likes. He seems to like them all. I just found out that 2 of the sports have games at the exact same time so I will probably pull him out of one to not miss games. It feels stressful because he is not exposed to the sport I pull him ot of - he is 7. I guess there is plenty of time to try it.



Same. It feels like there actually is such a small window to try some sports. We are outside of DC but to get on the decent baseball teams around here you have to start trying out at age 7... by 10 it would be impossible to make a team unless you had been consistently practicing. I get that some people are fine with very casual rec sports only but, at least here, there is then zero chance you will make a high school team.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:so I struggle with this - I have a young son and I am trying to expose him to various sports to try to find out what he likes. He seems to like them all. I just found out that 2 of the sports have games at the exact same time so I will probably pull him out of one to not miss games. It feels stressful because he is not exposed to the sport I pull him ot of - he is 7. I guess there is plenty of time to try it.



Same. It feels like there actually is such a small window to try some sports. We are outside of DC but to get on the decent baseball teams around here you have to start trying out at age 7... by 10 it would be impossible to make a team unless you had been consistently practicing. I get that some people are fine with very casual rec sports only but, at least here, there is then zero chance you will make a high school team.


My boys are athletic and play a lot of sports. I have one who played rec basketball and played neighborhood basketball but didn’t do any extra training. Now he is in middle school and it is too late to get on one of these competitive basketball teams. We just started skills training and there is a huge difference between the boys like my son and the ones who have been going to these shooting and skills training for years. Those baseball kids OP may be complaining about are probably doing extra pitching clinic in addition to their travel baseball team.

There was a thread a few months ago about a mom who regretted not pushing her kid harder. I guess her kid didn’t make the high school teams because she didn’t do the extra for her kid. My kid might be too late for basketball by starting this training in middle school. We hope if he works hard enough that he can make the high school team. I wish we knew about this sooner.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:so I struggle with this - I have a young son and I am trying to expose him to various sports to try to find out what he likes. He seems to like them all. I just found out that 2 of the sports have games at the exact same time so I will probably pull him out of one to not miss games. It feels stressful because he is not exposed to the sport I pull him ot of - he is 7. I guess there is plenty of time to try it.



Same. It feels like there actually is such a small window to try some sports. We are outside of DC but to get on the decent baseball teams around here you have to start trying out at age 7... by 10 it would be impossible to make a team unless you had been consistently practicing. I get that some people are fine with very casual rec sports only but, at least here, there is then zero chance you will make a high school team.


My boys are athletic and play a lot of sports. I have one who played rec basketball and played neighborhood basketball but didn’t do any extra training. Now he is in middle school and it is too late to get on one of these competitive basketball teams. We just started skills training and there is a huge difference between the boys like my son and the ones who have been going to these shooting and skills training for years. Those baseball kids OP may be complaining about are probably doing extra pitching clinic in addition to their travel baseball team.

There was a thread a few months ago about a mom who regretted not pushing her kid harder. I guess her kid didn’t make the high school teams because she didn’t do the extra for her kid. My kid might be too late for basketball by starting this training in middle school. We hope if he works hard enough that he can make the high school team. I wish we knew about this sooner.

M

You’re a bum
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