Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled.

[Anonymous]

I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

[Anonymous]

Why would I want my kids bored and not able to learn the things that interest them?

[Anonymous]

Sports suck because kids have different sport interests (ie want to take more than one spring sport for example) but all the teams are different. Soccer is run out of clubs, baseball is a local org, tennis is through parks and rec. None of these communicate with parent or with each other, so rosters and practice/game schedules are all over the place. If we wait until schedules are released to make sure we can attend every game and practice, then it’s too late to join. So we sign up for two sports and hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you "scheduling d*mn play dates"? If your kids are so amazing, aren't they responsible enough to knock on a few doors around the neighborhood and invite people over, or ride their bike to the playground and make new friends there?

Wait, I thought kids were supposed to be bored--but you're social engineering play dates? Which is it?

Dumb response.

Because we have friends that aren't walkable from our home? Because my 6 and 9-year-old kids don't have phones and can't orchestrate playdates with friends who live a few miles away? Because they have friends that they don't see every day at school? Because the few friends who are walkable are overscheduled? Because there are very few kids who live nearby who line up in terms of the right age/gender breakdown that my kids actually WANT to play with? Because there is only so long you can play with your sibling before you start fighting with each other?

Sometimes it's fun to be bored with friends. That's when the creative magic happens. We want them to be social. It's just finding the time with certain friends that seems impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m raising the kid I was given and the kid I was given wants to be active in many sports.

He’s happy and thriving and all his activities are worth it even if it makes me tired.

It's not all sports, but my kid is the same way. I don't complain or miss things though; we just make it work, and my kid get plenty of time doing nothing, even the most scheduled season of life wasn't more than a 5 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

I will take my child's desires into account, but I won't let them do any activities that they want. Things like finances and time commitment are taken into consideration first. I also will never overschedule my kids/teens. My kids are welcome to overschedule themselves in high school when they can drive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

PP you are responding to and I do let them do some of the activities that they want to do. But they have to pick because I’m not willing to spend all evening every evening driving both kids around and dragging the little guys because he can’t stay home alone. I also see worse behavior when they are too busy. So one of my kids is mildly interested in swimming but I’m not willing to add 3 nights a week or something. But they get to do what they are most excited about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I partly blame the culture around here -it’s hard to do any sports in a chill way regardless of age. If your kid wants to swim, they are either only swimming in the summer or they are swimming at least 3 days a week year round. And if you don’t start early enough you are “behind” so everyone wants to let their kids try a couple things out.

My oldest asks to do activities because that’s where her friends are. They aren’t available if she goes and knocks on their door. We allow less than a lot of families (my daughter is really only doing dance and Girl Scouts my son is only doing soccer and we will see if it bites us in the a*s later). It’s a balance

Why not let them do the activities they want to?

OP here.

Kids can want to do all the things, but as parents, we can say no. That's a lesson in itself. You can't do everything that you want all the time, you have to learn to prioritize whether that is for time or budgetary reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ops kids are unathletic losers

What a horrible thing to say. Maybe ops kids don't like sports. Op is giving her kids a chance to be kids without being always busy.

OP here.

Wow, you're an @$$. My kids love sports and are very athletic. The big difference is that it is in one sport per season, not 3 like some of their friends.

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself, lady. At this age kids leave baseball and soccer games early to attend birthday parties. Or go on family trips. Or for lots of other reasons. It’s Little League, not Game 7 of the World Series.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ops kids are unathletic losers

What a horrible thing to say. Maybe ops kids don't like sports. Op is giving her kids a chance to be kids without being always busy.

OP here.

Wow, you're an @$$. My kids love sports and are very athletic. The big difference is that it is in one sport per season, not 3 like some of their friends.

I'm sorry, but I was trying to come to your defense. If your kids like sports that's great it's also great that you don't overschedule your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you "scheduling d*mn play dates"? If your kids are so amazing, aren't they responsible enough to knock on a few doors around the neighborhood and invite people over, or ride their bike to the playground and make new friends there?

Wait, I thought kids were supposed to be bored--but you're social engineering play dates? Which is it?

Dumb response.

Because we have friends that aren't walkable from our home? Because my 6 and 9-year-old kids don't have phones and can't orchestrate playdates with friends who live a few miles away? Because they have friends that they don't see every day at school? Because the few friends who are walkable are overscheduled? Because there are very few kids who live nearby who line up in terms of the right age/gender breakdown that my kids actually WANT to play with? Because there is only so long you can play with your sibling before you start fighting with each other?

Sometimes it's fun to be bored with friends. That's when the creative magic happens. We want them to be social. It's just finding the time with certain friends that seems impossible.

OK? Then find other friends. If the friends and their parents are so awful and have such different values, don't anonymously rant and sulk. Get on the stick and help your kids make some more appropriate, good, right, like-minded friends who are every bit as awesome and Doing Parenting Right as you.

[Anonymous]

The “complaining” is also just called small talk. What else are we going to talk about?

[Anonymous]

Why would I say no? My kids love sports. Sorry that your kid doesn’t have play dates but my kids are thriving and enjoying companionship with their teammates, getting fresh air and exercise and learning about sportsmanship, disappointment, and being graceful in both winning and defeat.